Trust is a beautiful thing

by Nerakami
(Miami, FL USA)

I often hear people say, "let go and let God" and whilst this sounds simple enough in theory, based on personal experience it is not a simple feat to actually put into practice, which makes me wonder, how many people have pondered what exactly is involved in surrendering to God or the Universal flow?

I did not get very far in my practice before I was faced with a very startling realization. One can never truly surrender with one's entire being unless there is an unshakable TRUST that what is being surrendered to, is a more ideal state than where one is presently. This Trust has to be a deep conviction rooted to the very core of our beings going beyond faith and hope.

So then, I had to seriously ponder the authenticity of my trust in an unseen and unfamiliar Universal process before I could surrender without my habitual mental conflict kicking in.


Intellectually, anyone who truly believes in a Higher Source, will automatically say, yes of course, I trust in God however, my life's experiences have taught that my Trust in "God" came as a direct result of a conscious and diligent practice of re-training my thoughts subsequently, my beliefs from blame, guilt and suspicion to first understand the root cause of the erroneous and self --destructive mindset and then incorporate various techniques to help me re-condition my belief system to wholeheartedly accept the principles of compassion, forgiveness and love as my desired way of being.

Remember, we are raised to be mistrustful of almost everything including God, whose image was imparted to me as angry and vengeful, so how could we ever think that Trust would be an easy thing to accomplish? It was only because my thoughts began to change from a state of negativity to one of hope and promise that my perceptions and life's experiences also began to transform accordingly. This change allowed my conviction to grow as it represented a concrete manifestation of the presence of "God" within me.

There are inexplicable events that we come to trust without much questioning, because we see them remain constant since our birth for instance, we trust that day will follow night, spring follows winter and so on. We have also been taught to trust our five senses to interpret what we perceive in this physical realm, so what exactly is required for human beings to come to a place of absolute trust in a Divine Force and a process that is unseen and more often misunderstood?


"Faith in things unseen".

I remember a time long ago waking up every day and feeling deep down that there was something more to life than what my eyes saw and my mind comprehended. I couldn't intellectually conceive what it was, but that persistent feeling propelled me on a conscious spiritual search for answers.

First, I had to cultivate enough faith from that small stirring deep in my soul which became a literal albeit, inexplicable indicator of my "Higher Self". Throughout the ensuing years, I absorbed much information and incorporated Universal principles into my moment-to-moment living and as a result, watched my own mind evolve from a self-negating, depressive state to that of wholeness and love. Because of the changes that took place in my own life, my faith evolved into an unwavering sense of Trust in a process that went beyond my intellectual mind.

In essence, if "God" can transform a miserable, suicidal mind into one of contentment and peace then that same mind knows that there is nothing the energy Force cannot do. Obviously, the conscious "I" had to do the work necessary to bring about the changes, but that mysterious connection to something greater was the catalyst in bringing it into being as well as, becoming the foundation of my comfort, strength and courage during the tumultuous times.

More importantly, out of this entire development came a recognition and acknowledgment of an "inner guide' or a Higher Mind which brought with it a blessed release from the chaos created by my fears.


The Universe functions in absolute perfection and harmony evident both on earth and in the cosmos as well as, in the amazing complexities of the human body and yet we know not from whence it all began or how it maintains its functioning ability however, the fact that it is, makes it not only real but that it came about by something outside of our conscious selves.

Why then, would this Source, which created such an intensely complex existence, not have a more evolved plan for mankind than the mundane and trivial perceptions we have for ourselves? And so it comes back to that little matter of trusting that it does, and trusting that though my confidence in the moment may not register with a resounding "yes", encompassing my entire being, there is enough (a tiny mustard seed, perhaps) to build upon, so that one day that same trust in my connection to the all Knowing, all powerful force will enable me to say unto this mountain . . . "Move and it shall be moved.


Surrender goes far beyond all the verbal utterances we make, it lies at our very core silencing doubts and fears, instilling a deep calm amidst difficult circumstances. Surrender, although born out of beliefs invariably transcends beliefs becoming a knowing that infuses us, requiring no explanation, placating or coaxing. Surrender becomes the doorway for the inflow of Divine energy to guide our lives to inevitable fulfillment.


Though I may not comprehend the fullness of thy plan nor is there enough awareness within me, to say to this ego I created as a representation of who I am, "Get thee behind me", indicating "thy will as my will", with my little mustard seed of faith, I will nurture my trust in you as it is truly a beautiful thing that evolves into a total surrender to your Love which in the midst of my most turbulent times, will not only proclaim but actually exude a stillness because of the knowing that, "I am . . . "


Bio: Writing became my way of dealing with intense emotional experiences. I ultimately realized the writings portrayed an honest accounting of my internal journey from darkness to Light. My writings offer a view into the profile of a human's soul. An honest portrayal of our emotional and psychological journey to break free from self-destructive conditioned beliefs.
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