Self Help Tips for Proper Table Etiquette for A Special Occasion

When you are invited to a formal dinner party or to a fancy restaurant, you will always think about proper table etiquette. Admittedly, there are some people who go about a dinner party unsure of how to act, often making themselves a spectacle to other people. Here are few basic tips to remember for a formal American dinner so you will have the confidence and approval of your host or date. Note: these tips are for those who will be eating and not for the dinner host or server.

First, you must understand the set of utensils. At your left, you will see the napkin and a set of fork. Depending on the course of the dinner, the fork comes in three forms: salad fork (extreme left), dinner fork (middle), and desert fork (nearest to the plate). Now at your right side you will see the soup spoon (extreme right), teaspoon (middle), and dinner knife (nearest to the plate). If you cannot memorize the location and the purpose of the utensils, always start from the extreme side going in.

There would be times when the food that is first set in front of you will not be the salad, and the salad will be the main course. Do not be confused that you mix spoons. You will still use the salad fork for the first course, and the dinner fork will then be used for salads. Always, the same principle still remains: from outside or extreme side going in.

When you are at the dining area, pull back the chair by lifting it off the floor. Never slide it back for it is considered impolite. Stand in front and wait for the signal before you sit down. The host or hostess will give the signal by telling you to sit down. If no prompt is given, wait until they have seated themselves before you do so.

Sit and lift the chair close to you as you do so; do not sit and hop as you adjust the chair to the table. Sit back comfortably by keeping your back straight but relaxed. Do not lounge backwards or slouch or lean forward during the course of the meal.

Wait until your host unfolds the napkin and place it on his lap. Once he is finished, it is your turn to do so. Unfold the napkin without snapping it open, as you commonly see in television. That is considered rude and impolite. Place the unfolded napkin on your lap and not on your chest. Never use the napkin to wipe your nose, face, or utensil.

If you will use it to clean your mouth, dab it on your lips and never wipe, especially if you are a woman and you are wearing lipstick. Be considerate by not staining the napkin needlessly. Lipstick can be very difficult to wash off, and your host will be charged extra for this service.

Do not eat if:
 The host and everybody else is not yet served
 The host has not told you to do so.

When soup is served, use the soup spoon (extreme right or outside). Your spoon must be held concave side up. Your forefinger must be curled beneath the handle and your thumb resting on top. You do not dip the spoon at the center of the soup.

Soup is eaten by sliding the spoon from you. Fill the spoon ¾ full. Lift the spoon up and bring it to your mouth sideways. Sip the soup from the side of the spoon. Never put the spoon entirely into your mouth or slurp noisily.

During eating, it is important to remember that the fork is always held with the tines of the fork pointing downwards towards the plate at all times. A fork with the tines pointing upward is considered improper. Never hold utensils as if you are about to stab someone with them.

If you are served with salad that has big pieces of vegetable on it, you can cut them into small pieces using a fork and knife. To cut them, hold down the vegetable with the fork and slice them with the knife cutting in front of it. To have full control of the utensils, place your index fingers along the back of the fork as well as the knife. This will prevent any accidental slipping as you cut down on your food. The same procedure is used when cutting steak, meat, or fish.

Cut down food to bite size pieces if necessary. Before you eat, set down the knife at the top of the plate and transfer the fork to your right hand (unless you are left-hand dominant). You can now place the food in your mouth, and then return the fork to your left hand for the next bite.

Always use your utensils quietly, never making any noise as you use them or put them down. Eat quietly, never producing any sound as you eat. It is considered bad manners and unacceptable when you create noise while eating. Burping is highly discouraged as this will insult your host and other guests.

Never season the food before you get the chance to taste them. You will offend your host by making it come across that his food preference is not acceptable enough that you have to do something to it to make it palatable. You may only put some salt and pepper to your dish after tasting a mouthful and not before.

Never drink anything while food is inside your mouth. It will also convey the impression that the food is so distasteful; you can only swallow it if you drink something. The only exception is if you have eaten something that is too hot. On the next mouthful, do not pick it up and blow it off. Wait for a few moments to cool it down before you eat them.

Remember to use your utensils at all times. A chicken served with bones cannot be picked by hand. You can only do so when your host has done. Artichokes on the other hand can be eaten with your fingers by plucking the leaves from the outside. Once you reach the core that is when you will use your spoon or fork.

When salt is asked to be passed, always pass along with it the pepper so that both condiments will always be together. If you wish to use them, wait first for the one who asked them before you to finish using them. Never use the condiment during its progress down the table.

If you are still not sure of how to act properly during a formal dinner party, there are countless books that can teach you proper American manners. Take the time to browse the book days before your formal event. Do remember that this is just for formal American dinner. Other cultures have different table manners to observe, so take the time to learn about them before you go to the party.

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