Self Help Parenting Style Guide

There are many materials, such as self help books, self help articles, videos showing the type of parenting that should be done.

Aside from the behavior between parent and the child, some materials take into account other factors, like culture, society and the psychological impact on the child.

It is hard to determine what style the parent should follow when faced with the different environments and other aspects. In this instance, we focus on the parent and the child and the type of disciplinary methods that can be applied regardless of other extenuating factors.

Freedom to a child can vary depending on your strictness. It can be strictly limited or left open to the discretion of the child. You can give limited freedom to the child and this should be strictly followed.

Another method would be to provide certain parameters where the child can be free to do their activities or be entirely loose and allow the children to do what they want, as long as they are conscious that they are responsible for their actions.

These ranges of freedom may all be applicable depending on the age of the child and their environment. If they are in a safe neighborhood, then the scope of freedom may be more than in a risky location.

If the child is of age and can be held responsible, then providing them a greater amount of freedom is possible. However, this must be done with caution as some children might not realize the repercussion of their action especially if it’s the first time they encountered that situation.

Punishment can also be meted in different fashions, such as physical spanking to prohibiting them from certain items. Spanking a child or other physical punishment may be needed at times to instill discipline and obedience in a child. The punishment may be physically painful but it is short and could be easily forgotten after some time.

Be sure that any physical punishment does not harm or impair a child. In fits of anger and rage, it is relatively easy to inflict physical harm to an individual. Maintain a cool disposition and calm disposition to ensure your physical punishment is within acceptable boundaries. Instilling physical pain may help remind the child of the wrong they did during that incident.

Other methods of punishment could be grounding them, prohibiting the use of communication tools to contact their friends, no television, no computer usage and other such methods. This type of punishment is non-physical, takes a longer implementation period, and can be mentally exhausting.

It should be consistent and appropriate to the offense so the person realizes the repercussions when they commit a similar offense. However, if the offense is done too often, it is possible that the punishment may be of nil or minor consequence to the child and as such, a different punishment may have to be established for the offense. Different levels of punishment may have to be established for recurring violations.

Your relationship with the child should be stable. Ignoring or maintaining a negative attitude with the child will not help the situation. Make sure the child understands your love and affection for them, and that whatever you do in terms of their freedom and punishment, is for their own good.

There is no single parental style that is better than the others. Knowing different styles will help you apply the correct method for varying circumstances. You may have to shift styles as the child grows into a toddler and then into a teenager. Also, there may be different situations that call for different methods. Use your judgment and choose your style.

Learn more here in our self help parenting section

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