Couples self help resources – lifelong happiness – relationships article.

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Couples self help resources for
Lifelong happiness, starting right now!


Self help strategies for couples, strategies for Sharing your life with someone else:

When you enter into a ‘partnership’ one of the very first things you notice as part of a couple is that you are no longer master of your own life. It may be that you feel restrictions placed on you to account for your every minute and to be on call and on time for things that may or may not be a high priority for you.

This can be negotiated with good communication skills. While most women love to express their feeling and concerns, most men dread the words “we need to talk” and yet are also in need of self-expression to clarify what can be confusing crossed signals for them. An exiting, passionate and trusting relationship can only ever be built on healthy self esteem and the ability to be comfortable about stating your needs and concerns.
These are both strengths that you can build in yourself and help your partner to develop.

It can become a real problem when one person believes ‘living happily ever after’ means being ‘joined at the hip’ 24 hours a day. Gently draw the boundaries of what is fun for both of you and what will remain solo interests.

Checklist: your ideal shared life, what makes you happy?

“I am happy when we both……………………………”

“When s-he does……………………………….I feel……………………….”

“When s-he says…………………………………I feel………………………”

“I know s-he is happy when……………………………………………………”

“I feel loved when………………………………………………………………..”

“I am attracted to my partner when…………………………………………………”

“I feel respected when ………………………………………………………….”

“I know our relationship is strong when…………………………………….”

“I know our relationship is still passionate when…………………………………”

“I just love it when s-he does………………………………………………………”

“To feel truly secure I need to be given……………………………………….”

“To show my partner how much I love them I………………………………….”

“I’m thrilled when s-he says…………………………………………………………..”

“I feel totally loved when I am touched on my………………………………”

“I love it when we go to……………………………………….”

“I don’t feel lonely when……………………………….”

These sorts of questions can help to identify the ways you both need to be talked to, held, touched, the things you need to say to each other, to both feel loved and desirable.

It is a mistake to assume that the things you need to hear are the same things your partner need to hear, see, to feel totally loved. One may be tactile, another verbal, another needs tangible or doing things for expressions of love. Talk to each other after you prepare some questions and answers and make sure you ARE ‘telling’ each other how much you love them.


Time management – create a schedule that allows for shared time with both of you doing the things you enjoy. And also allows for any solitude or solo activities that you require for your peace and sanity. The classic “date night” can be uncomfortable at the very beginning, but why not try to have at least one day or evening a month that you take turns to pick your favorite destinations or activities – to do TOGETHER.

Practice shared fun activities and romantic settings as often as you can, or the temptation will be to move further and further apart, doing your own things.

We will be adding much, much more information and checklists and goal setting and action plans to this page, so keep tuned.

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Web www.personal-enterprise-self-help-resources.com



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