Moving Through Puddles,
self help personal development
article by Jeanie Marshall
Self Help happiness, personal development, change management, stress management, emotion management, depression self help, article:
Weep not that the world changes -- did it keep a stable,
changeless state, it were a cause indeed to weep.
-- William Cullen Bryant
A "puddle" is the ultimate reframing of a "bottomless pit"
or a "dark hole" or an "abyss" or an "unfathomable chasm"
or "deep yogurt" or an "empty void" or -- well, you get the
idea. "Moving through puddles" includes the concept of
cycles, of life in constant change. We move through
puddles more easily when we understand that everything is
moving and changing, including us!
BOTTOMLESS PIT SYNDROME
Folks often telephone to tell me they feel stuck or in a
bottomless pit of something or other. I accept their
perceptions and accompanying feelings as honest
representations. And, I know that one of the reasons
clients call me is so that I can see and, in turn, assure
them that something more hopeful than hopelessness is
really happening for them.
So, as I listen to their stories, I survey their energy field to see how their perceptions are represented and at the same time I see these persons as already empowered. In other words, I honour their experiences without buying into their beliefs in insufficiency. If I collude with them, I have nothing of value to offer them. What good am I to them if I believe in their bottomless pit?Sometimes clients argue for limitations, trying toconvince me how bad it is. My tolerance is low for suchconversations. I listen deeply, empathetically, and quickly,needing minimal content to be helpful then facilitateempowering strategies. Sympathy is not one of my skills;empathy is, however. I am patient, yet my gentleimpatience is more often a gift to my clients. Most of my regular clients know that I hear and empathizewith their condition with few facts, so we moveeffortlessly from succinct storytelling into problem solvingand empowerment. Envisioning clients moving through apuddle rather than colluding with them to strengthen theabyss is a gift I offer. Assisting them to see themselvesmoving through a puddle rather than an abyss is anothergift. THE PUDDLE SCENARIO So here is the basic puddle scenario, a composite ofmultiple clients and client sessions. I call the client Jim,just so we have a character. Jim feels feelings he has felt many times before. Onceagain, he has gotten himself into an untenable position withhis boss. Last year, with his previous boss, a similarsituation occurred. And, yes, he has experienced situationswith co-workers and family and friends that are somewhatthe same. He is angry. He is angry at himself and his boss. He seestwo ways to respond: (1) quit and feel like a quitter (2) stay and feel like a loser. Of course, you and I can see immediately, even with little data, that Jim has many more options than these two. Remember, though, Jim sees himself as a victim of circumstances, even though Jim is not typically a victim. Jim sees himself in a bottomless pit with two options, not in a puddle with many options. When we understand the idea of puddles, we view life as aseries of experiences. Or a series of puddles. We knowthat the puddle is simply one experience that will befollowed by others. This does not necessarily mean that wewait for the sun to evaporate the puddle, but that is oneoption. Enjoying making mud pies is another. Putting onour boots is another. Splashing gleefully in the water isanother. Walking out of the puddle with grace and style isstill another. And there are many more options. See,already this is more fun than falling deeper into abottomless pit or hoping to be rescued. Jim's state of consciousness and awareness are keys to hisexperience. If Jim walks into the puddle with his eyes opento the experience, he will move knowingly through thepuddle. He will move through it -- this is the key for himto recognize while he is in the puddle. If Jim walks intothe puddle with his eyes closed (the most common wayinto a puddle), his job is to open his eyes and recognizethat he is in a puddle. If Jim resists stepping into onepuddle, he is likely to encounter a bigger and/or denserpuddle when next it is puddle time. The populareuphemism for this dynamic is "denial." Or, if Jim tries tocreate a lot of little puddles to avoid the bigger puddles, he is trying to control events rather than being in the flow of life. WHAT COLOUR IS THE PUDDLE? Since first presenting the idea of Puddles as a way ofviewing life's cycles and challenges, I have heard frommany clients and Journal readers and others. Sometimesthey telephone to report "I'm in a puddle." My initialresponse is "What colour is the puddle?" Or some otherquestion that helps to focus the attention on the energeticsof the puddle rather than the issues that spin them in circles,like a cess pool. It is not that the issues are unimportant,it is that I can assist people so much more effectively if wefocus on the energetics than on the circumstances. Otherquestions that help to give the attention to the energeticsare: How big is the puddle? Is the puddle muddy or clear?Additional questions are included in the seven-stepprocess, which is designed to help you move through apuddle, perhaps even with elegance. AN ENERGETIC PROCESS 1. Name a situation that you consider to be very challenging or problematic (1-9 words). 2. Describe the situation briefly in the way you might tell a friend you have not seen for a while. This friend, who is wise and enlightened, cares about you. 3. Entitle this situation a "puddle" no matter how it might initially seem (eg., a brick wall, a bottomless pit, stuck/sticky, hot lava, quicksand, a large vat of brown yogurt, a cess pool, a roller coaster, a sticky pot of dung). If you have any difficulty naming your impossible situation a mere "puddle" just start by believing it could be a puddle. You may put your situation in a puddle or put a puddle in your situation. Some of these ideas may make you laugh or smile or feel lighter. 4. Describe the energetic dynamics of the puddle. For example, what colour is the puddle? What texture is it? What size is it? How thick/thin is it? What shape is it? What sound does it make? What does it smell like? How close are you to it (or it to you)? If it had a name (other than puddle or pit or pool), what would it be? Add any other dynamics you perceive. 5. Experiment with changing the characteristics. For example, if yours is a puddle two feet in diameter, can you change it to one foot or four feet in diameter? If you cannot, no need to struggle, experiment with changing another aspect. Can you hear your puddle utter a cacophony of shrieks or sing a sweet melody? As you play with such dynamics, you give yourself an experience of dominion over the puddle which can translate to enhanced confidence with respect to the situation itself. 6. Clarify your desires. How close do you desire the puddle to be? What colour do you desire the puddle to be? As you become clear about your desires while working with the energetics, you will find that your perceptions of the condition and situation change. Create your desires. 7. Reflect on how you now experience the situation (refer to #1 above). Is it different? If so, how? Repeat the above steps as often as needed to achieve the desired relationship to the situation. A Puddleless World? The world is filled with puddles and the appearance of cess- pools and endless pits. If we believe something is so bad or so deep or never-ending, it can be a relief to shift to believing it is a mere puddle. Even if we lack faith in certain people and real-world situations, we do know that at some time the sun will show its warm face and absorb a puddle. I believe our most empowering relationship to puddles is tomove through them consciously. Our personal styledetermines how we move through puddles as a myriad ofchoices is available to us. How well we do this is also amatter of style, usually improving with repeatedexperience. We really do not want the world to be withoutpuddles, because then the world would be without flowers and trees and even people. There would be no diversity, no adventure, no learning. Where else would we play in the sunshine after a rainfall? -----------------------------------------------------------
From the Marshall House Journal, February, 1996, No. 47, Copyright 1996; 1997, Marshall House. All Rights Reserved. You may save this article or send it to a friend, provided this attribution paragraph remains with the article. Jeanie Marshall is a Self-empowerment Consultant specializing in deep transformation through energetic awareness and clearing. Jeanie@mhmail.com (310) 458-1172 http://www.mhmail.com Using a powerful Self Esteem Hypnosis mp3 is a proven confidence building hypnosis tool - get these self confidence building self hypnosis downloads today to build confidence and improve your self esteem! http://confidence-building-self-esteem-hypnosis-mp3.com Self hypnosis Downloads used for weight loss and quitting smoking have proven an effective tool for motivated change, including confidence building hypnosis downloads like self esteem hypnosis mp3 recordings. Listen to your self hypnosis downloads at your convenience as often as you need for one low price! http://www.self-hypnosis-downloads-mp3.com
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