Happiness self help blog
archived for December 04
by Helene Malmsio

30th December 2004

Self help for Establishing Dreams and Goals by Jim Rohn

One of the amazing things we have been given as humans is the unquenchable desire to have dreams of a better life, and the ability to establish goals to live out those dreams.

Think of it: We can look deep within our hearts and dream of a better situation for ourselves and our families; dream of better financial lives and better emotional or physical lives; certainly dream of better spiritual lives.

But what makes this even more powerful is that we have also been given the ability to not only dream but to pursue those dreams and not only to pursue them, but the cognitive ability to actually lay out a plan and strategies (setting goals) to achieve those dreams. Powerful!

And that is what we will discuss in detail this week: How to dream dreams and establish goals to get those dreams.

What are your dreams and goals? This isn't what you already have or what you have done, but what you want.

Have you ever really sat down and thought through your life values and decided what you really want?

Have you ever taken the time to truly reflect, to listen quietly to your heart, to see what dreams live within you? Your dreams are there. Everyone has them.

They may live right on the surface, or they may be buried deep from years of others telling you they were foolish, but they are there.

So how do we know what our dreams are? This is an interesting process and it relates primarily to the art of listening. This is not listening to others; it is listening to yourself.

If we listen to others, we hear their plans and dreams (and many will try to put their plans and dreams on us). If we listen to others, we can never be fulfilled.

We will only chase elusive dreams that are not rooted deep within us. No, we must listen to our own hearts.

Let's take a look at some practical steps/thoughts on hearing from our hearts on what our dreams are:

Take time to be quiet. This is something that we don't do enough in this busy world of ours. We rush, rush, rush, and we are constantly listening to noise all around us.

The human heart was meant for times of quiet, to peer deep within. It is when we do this that our hearts are set free to soar and take flight on the wings of our own dreams!

Schedule some quiet "dream time" this week. No other people. No cell phone. No computer. Just you, a pad, a pen, and your thoughts (you get to do this in the workbook exercises this week).

Think about what really thrills you. When you are quiet, think about those things that really get your blood moving.

What would you LOVE to do, either for fun or for a living? What would you love to accomplish? What would you try if you were guaranteed to succeed?

What big thoughts move your heart into a state of excitement and joy?

When you answer these questions you will feel Great and you will be in the "dream zone."

It is only when we get to this point that we experience what Our dreams are!

Write down all of your dreams as you have them.

Don't think of any as too outlandish or foolish - remember, you're dreaming!

Let the thoughts fly and take careful record.

Now, prioritize those dreams. Which are most important? Which are most feasible?

Which would you love to do the most? Put them in the order in which you will actually try to attain them.

Remember, we are always moving toward action, not just dreaming.

Here is the big picture: Life is too short to not pursue your dreams. Someday your life will near its end and all you will be able to do is look backwards.

You can reflect with joy or regret. Those who dream, who set goals and act on them to live out their dreams are those who live lives of joy and have a sense of peace when they near the end of their lives.

They have finished well, for themselves and for their families.

Remember: These are the dreams and goals that are born out of your heart and mind.

These are the goals that are unique to you and come from who you were created to be and gifted to become.

Your specific goals are what you want to attain because they are what will make your life joyful and bring your family's life into congruence with what you want it to be.

Until next week, let's do something remarkable!

Jim Rohn

(Excerpted from Week Six of the Jim Rohn One-Year Success Plan) Jim Rohn One Year Success Plan

29th December 2004

Self help Goals development and Goal Setting inspirations and quotes by the master philosopher - Jim Rohn

* The major reason for setting a goal is for what it makes of you to accomplish it. What it makes of you will always be the far greater value than what you get.

* When Andrew Carnegie died, they discovered a sheet of paper upon which he had written one of the major goals of his life: to spend the first half of his life accumulating money and to spend the last half of his life giving it all away. And he did!

* Some people are disturbed by those tough days because all they have is the days. They haven't designed or described or defined the future.

* Goals. There's no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There's no telling what you can do when you believe in them. And there's no telling what will happen when you act upon them.

* We all need lots of powerful long-range goals to help us past the short-term obstacles.

* The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them.

* Don't set your goals too low. If you don't need much, you won't become much.

* If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you. If you go to work on your plan, your plan will go to work on you. Whatever good things we build end up building us.

* We all have two choices: We can make a living or we can design a life.

I'm getting ready for my annual goals (and life) review, are you? If you have areas in your life you want improvement in, guess what? "IF IT'S TO BE - IT'S UP TO ME"

Thinking it, wishing it, hoping it, will not make it happen as powerfully as PLANNING IT.

This site has dozens of truly powerful articles that simply set out how to define and plan your goals for 2005.... go on, try it out and see for yourself what an amazing difference it will make to your whole life. - Helene Malmsio

28th December 2004

Self Help resources for annual review and New Year Goal Setting:

Are you satisfied with the achievement of your 2004 goals? Reflect on where you were last year and what you wanted to achieve.

You may have made small steps forward or you may be leaps and bounds from where you started.

Either way, this year has been a success. You created your map. You started your journey to live your dreams.

Most individuals want to improve their skills and performance, and they rarely rate themselves too high.

Be open to discovering more about yourself . . . through self-evaluation. You can apply these questions to your goals at work and with your significant other. Many think a relationship takes care of itself.

It doesn’t. You should work at your relationship with the same conviction that you do with your goals and your job.

Here are some suggestions for self-evaluation questions:

1. What accomplishments do I consider significant in the last year?
2. What could be even better?
3. What prevents me from doing my best work?
4. How does my position add value to the firm today?
5. How does this position add to my portfolio of experiences?
6. Would I like to work with a mentor? If so, whom?
7. Will working with a coach bolster my value?
8. What are the most important goals I want to accomplish in the next year?
9. What resources, including education or training, could help me meet my goals?
10. How else could my manager/supervisor help me?
11. How do my customers feel that I add value for them?
12. What value do I provide my coworkers that add value for them?
13. What sort of measurements do I use to quantify how I create value?
14. What type of additional training or education will further enhance my value?
15. What could be better in my significant relationship?
16. What prevents me from being emotionally vulnerable to my mate?
17. What do I / we want to accomplish this year as a couple?
18. What resources can help us meet this goal?
19. What value do I provide my mate that adds value for them?

It has been a great year for you and 2005 will be even better!

You are what you believe. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

-Lisa Leguenec

Goal Genie is goal setting software
that cures the number one reason
most people don't reach goals.

Time to check out our GOALSETTING free resources DIRECTORY PAGE:

All the very best for the Season, and the New Year! - Helene Malmsio

23rd December 2004

Self help gift ideas for Christmas - Part 3:

Well, if you haven't organised your inexpensive gift ideas yet, you are in for a very busy 48 hours or so!

9) If you are shopping for long distance friends and relatives, you now only have one option left and that is to buy on the internet with instant downloads or same day shipping.... My Self Help Shopping page might have some good ideas for you in your emergency.

Otherwise, you hit the shops and just try to be creative and frugal...

Prepare shopping lists beforehand, with 2-3 gift options for each person in case you can't find your first choice.

10) One simple gift shopping idea is preparing "gift hampers". Most of the contents for the gift hamper ideas below can be bought in your local 24 hour supermarket or chain store.

For your Hamper containers buy some baskets, boxes or gift bags, one per person getting a gift. Then select what kind of hamper you are making eg:

FOOD: Packets of biscuits, nuts, chips, shortcake, tiny cake or puddings, jam & conserves, fruit sauces, dried/glace fruit mixes, sprinkle with wrapped toffees and other candies.

BEAUTY/bathing: selection of scented soaps, bath salts, pot pourri sachets, sponge/loofah/brush, hair brush & comb set, scented candle/s, face washer & towel.

WINE & beverages: Bottle of wine, cheese, crackers, pickes/preserves, dried fruits, tin pate or tuna, chips/crisps, bottle opener, couple of plastic stem glasses and plates.

GARDENING: Collect small sets of hand tools, spade - rake - weed prong, set of gloves, kneeling pad, bundle of plant twist ties, or string cut into 5" bundles, punnet/s of flower or vege seedlings (packet of seeds if it won't be delivered and used straight away) Citronella candle to keep mozzies away while they enjoy their garden at night...

BAKING Mixer bowl or baking tray, wooden spoon set or spatula & tongs set, tea towel, oven mitt, selection of spices in jars or packets, apron.

KIDS Colouring book, crayons or felt pens, blank scribble pad/book, packets of decorative stickers, pencil - ruler - eraser sets, a couple of small to medium Picture Frames for them to mount their artwork to be hung up properly. Kids feel really good when their artwork is actually FRAMED and hung up, instead of the usual fridge door treatment.

Lots of self help ideas on themes for hamper gift ideas.

You can also add some extra thought by searching for an appropriate free e-book that you can download and print a copy of and add to their gift hamper... baking, drawing, gardening, wine appreciation, aromatherapy or herbal bath recipes, biscuit recipes / cookbook, etc. etc. just use your imagination....

Each gift hamper can usually be collected for between $5 - 30 depending on how much you budget for.....

Also do what the professionals do.... when you unpack your "store bought" hampers, the bottom of the basket is usually filled up with scrunched up tissue wrap / cellophane / crepe paper / straw / shredded paper or similar "filler". So make sure you pack the base well with some "filler" like the above suggestions, to give the "basket" even more bulk.

Then open a sheet of cellophane, put the "basket" in the middle of the sheet and pull the sides up to meet at the very top and centre of the hamper. Tie with a big bow or some tinsel.

If the hampers are small, use an "oven bake bag" and just put the basket inside the bag & tie the top.

Decorative Gift Bags: Just stuff some tissue wrap in the bottom, poke your cellophane into the bag like a second skin for the bag, pack your hamper gift selection into the cellophane pocket, then tie the cellophane at the top of the bundle of gifts, so that the cellophane bundle sits securely inside the bag with all the goodies sticking out decoratively from the bag.

11) If all else fails, buy everyone an indoor pot plant.

Faily inexpensive, budget according to size of plant, then wrap some red or green cellophane around the less attractive plastic pot.... stick a Christmas decorative "pick" into the top, or a colourful big bow tied to a twig...

Wrap ribbon around the pot to hold the cellophane around the pot, or use tinsel.

Pot plants are just that little bit different from the usual run-of-the-mill socks and jocks gifts, and it's good for both male and female friends, good for singles and couples, good for home owners and renters, good for young and old... very flexible and useful gift to remember when in a hurry and especially for the people who you can never work out what to give them.

MOST IMPORTANTLY - HAVE FUN. Read the self help tips article above for how to stay sane this Holiday Season.

I wish you all the very best for you and your loved ones this festive season!

- Helene Malmsio

17th December 2004

MORE SELF HELP INEXPENSIVE CHRISTMAS GIFT IDEAS...Part 2 with creativity and imagination to show that you really do care!

4) SCRAPBOOK JOURNAL OF 2004: This is simply a collection of photographs, clippings about things you have done, travelled to, bought, shared, that is collected and pasted onto sheets of paper or an attractive blank pages journal book. Arrange the picture, theatre ticket stubbs, dried pressed flowers, the birthday cards you received, ANYTHING that can be pasted onto a page that brings back MEMORIES of the good times that have happened this year. Add notes along the pages describing some of the events that are represented on the pages. They can be humorous, romantic, childish (like the kids wrote it), or quite formal with neat calligraphy or typed on the computer... Simply present the book in a gift box, or wrapped in a festive theme, and you can make a pantomime of the TV show "This is your Life (for 2004)" and really play it up to the hilt, "remember when we...." with family and friends roasing the recipient.... have fun and be creative...

5) WRITE A FAMILY TREE JOURNAL This is a huge job and not one to be started today, but can be something you start this year, to present copies to EVERYONE in your family for Christmas presents next year.... There are lots of websites that tell you how to find and catalogue your family tree and history, but you can begin with the free ebook on our site.

An alternative is to conduct a series of interviews with each of the more elderly members of the family and just begin a catalogue of their individual "Life Story of...." that can have new chapters added to each "edition" you print from your computer each year.

Simply "paper punch" the two holes in the left hand side spine of the pages and tie attractive ribbon or silk tassell rope throught the holes to bind the book together together. Two sheets for firm coloured cardboard (or clear plastic sheets) on the front and back, give the book the feeling of firmness and substance. Even simpler, just put the pages in a clip folder with clear cover sheet for your personalised "book cover" inserted. Then the each of the family members can just add the new chapters to the folder/book each year...

6) MINI CHRISTMAS CAKES: Just buy a some commercial square dark fruit cakes (each cake will be cut into 4 individual mini gift cakes) and some packet cake icing to roll out, or mix some icing sugar, egg white and a few drops of lemon.

Cut each cake into 4 square pieces or mini cakes.

DECORATION OF YOUR GIFT CAKES:

1) Decorate the cake with icing rolled out 1/4" thick, spread some apricot or other jam on the cake to make the sheet of icing stick, put the icing over the top of the cake, press or trim the corners to fit. Trim the surplus icing from the base or tuck the icing edges under the cake. Smooth out the surface with some icing sugar on your fingers as you smooth out any lumps. Stick some holly or use a tube of icing sugar to write a "merry christmas" greeting.

2) Or beat the icing sugar, egg white and teaspoon or so of lemon juice, until the icing forms stiff peaks. This takes a few minutes, so be patient. Spatula the icing onto the cakes and make "snow peaks" that you can stick some plastic holly or mini Santa's into.. maybe add a marzipan snowman...

3) If you can't even stretch your cooking skills to roll out a sheet of cake icing to decorate your gift, then you can decorate the sides of the cakes with Christmas cake wrap or a strip of firm gift wrap and just sticky tape into place around the circumfrance of the cake. Press a "sprig of holly" into the top of the cake, maybe purchase some "merry christmas" signs that can be pressed onto the top.

Then just place the cake on a paper plate or cardboard & foil square, into an "oven bake bag" or other cellophane type wrap. Tie the loose ends with ribbon or tinsel. Viola!

7) FAMILY OR FRIENDS CALENDARS: For this personalised gift you need to go to your computer "publisher" or similar program (some Outlook Express programs also have calendars loaded into them) and save the calender "monthly" sections into a Word document, or just edit the "publisher" document if that is what you are using. Then creatively edit into it some family photos and happy motivational quotes for the yearly calender, or do one for each month.

Print the calenders up and bind them with a slide on plastic spine cover that can be bought at newsagents, and thread a cord along the spine to create a hanger for the calender. Or simply staple / paper punch and tie a hanging loop to the top somewhere. Just get creative and fun...

If you want to make a more "generic" one, simply pick a theme, flowers, animals, nature scenes, sports, race cars, WHATEVER you think is pretty wonderful, paste those pictures into your calender and add whatever quotes or comments you think are appropriate.....and once again, print up as many copies of the calender as you want, use the colour printer and the calenders will look truly wonderful. Just have fun...

p.s. I DO practice what I preach with my Creative Gift Ideas, as I baked 5 batches of biscuits last night to pack and present to my neighbours and friends... read below my suggestion for this as gifts... and I am in the process of making up a 2005 calender that my site visitors can download as my gift to you.

- Helene Malmsio

8th December 2004

SELF HELP LOVING INEXPENSIVE CHRISTMAS GIFT IDEAS - Part 1:

Only a couple of weeks to Christmas....YIKES!

IF you are in desperate shortage of self help wholesome and caring, but inexpensive gifts for your loved ones, keep an eye on this self help page, as I will suggest some self help ideas for no-cost and low-cost gift ideas that you can (and should) make yourself....

REMEMBER... It's supposed to be about the THOUGHT and the effort, not the $$$.... set your own standards for Christmas with your loved ones and the rest will follow.

1) BAKE SOME CHRISTMAS COOKIES! Get some free recipes from our Healthy cooking recipes self help section.

Bake two or three varieties of cookies and decorate some, even if only pressing a half red glace cherry, or half almond, into the centre.

To pack the cookie gifts, simply put them on Chrismas themed paper plates, sprinkle some colourfully wrapped toffee or candies and to wrap them just put the plate of cookies into a cellophane "cook in the oven" bag, tied with festive ribbon and candy cane and gift tag.

Making three varieties of cookies is usually enough to make a dozen or more gifts... also a great self help idea for workplace gifts.

2) D.I.Y. GIFT VOUCHER: Get creative with all the things you can DO for someone as a special treat for them.... Wash their car, clean their windows, foot rub, back massage, mow the lawn, cook a meal, child minding, grocery shopping trip, manicure, paint or maintenance job, dog walking....

ANYTHING you know you can do and that the gift recipient will appreciate.....

How well do you know a person? Try to work out a gift that will DELIGHT them with your creativity and thoughtfulness.

It doesn't have to be "back breaking" hard work.... it's about creativity... why not "a kiss a day".... "a shoulder to cry on.." etc

Write the "Gift Voucher" out onto nice parchment or coloured paper, then roll it up into a scroll & tie it with a glorious festive ribbon, with some cinnamon sticks or other festive pine sprigs along with a gift tag.

The gift vouchers can also be prepared on the computer to look like official PRESENTATION CERTIFICATES, print them out and paste red or gold seals on them, have fun and be creative......

3) HOPE CHEST: for very special loved ones, create a box full of hope and inspiration. Print out the page of self help Famous Quotes on our site, on coloured paper, then cut the quotes up into single inspirational quotes.

Fold or roll them up into little individual parcels.

Write some loving notes telling the person what you think and feel about them... "you inspire me because...." "I respect you so much because........" "Just to let you know how much you are loved... without conditions" "Thank you for .. being.... doing... caring....." "I think of you with love every time....." "Know that you are loved" and so on, with very personal notes of hope and love.

Fold or roll all the notes and self help inspirational quotes and pack them into a beautiful cardboard, or wood, or metal gift box.

Write a note to tell the recipient that when they feel the need for a "pick-me-up" they will find love and inspiration in this HOPE CHEST.

More self help inexpensive christmas gift ideas to come over the next few days....

6th December 2004

SELF HELP GOAL SETTING BOOK ON THE WAY!

WOW! Can't believe it has been so long since I had a talk with you, but I have been pretty wrapped up in writing and compiling a self help book on Goal Setting.

At this point I'm planning to GIVE IT AWAY as a free e-book on HOW TO SET GOALS AND ACHIEVE YOUR WILDEST DREAMS....

It is already over 130 pages long, so I will need to do some more editing.... But what a wonderful way to review this past year and get all fired up for a fantastic year ahead in 2005...

GOAL SETTING is the key to applying self help information and resources and turning them into POWERFUL TOOLS to transform your life...

Get subscribed to our inspring free self help newsletter right now and not only will you get a collection of brilliant self help articles sent to your letterbox once or twice a month, you are also the first to be told about our new free self help e-books......

So, have a merry time making and wrapping gifts for your loved ones in the spirit of the season.... it's not about the cost, its about the thought and effort that has gone into the gift....

- Helene Malmsio