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Personal development self help Blog:

NEW FREE eBooks to get you started for 2006... Just "right mouse button click" on the links then select "save target as" to download these .pdf books to your computer.

"How to Make 2006 Your Best Year Ever!" Booklet with a couple of short and simple Goal Setting gems to get you started on your New Year Resolutions

“Accomplish Anything you Want in your Life!” comprehensive self help guide for your self growth to Success

“Secrets of the Richest People” Learn from the wisdom of successful people through the ages.

Making Your Goals Count in 2006

Personal development self help Blog:

"Yard by yard, everything is hard. Inch by inch,everything's a cinch."
-- Unknown

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them thatyour strength lies."
-- Mother Teresa

"You don't get to choose how you're going to die, or when.You can only decide how you're going to live. Now."
-- Joan Baez

"The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not a bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly."
Jim Rohn

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. (Ed Furgol)

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. (Charles Lamb)

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it is written on. (Sam Goldwyn)

Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. (Spike Milligan)

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. (Henny Youngman)

There are three easy ways of losing money - racing is the quickest, women the most pleasant, and farming the most certain. (Lord Amherst)

My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil. (Paul Getty)

Children and Parents

Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. (David Frost)

Any astronomer can predict with absolute accuracy just where every star in the universe will be at 11.30 tonight. He can make no such prediction about his teenage daughter. (James T. Adams)

Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off. (Ralph Bus)

There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. (Bob Phillips)

I never met a kid I liked. (W.C. Fields)

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad. (W.C. Fields)

Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannise their teachers. (Socrates)

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'shut up.' (Joe Namath)

There are three ways to get something done; do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it. (Mona Crane)

Insults

Nancy Astor (to Winston Churchill): If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee!
Churchill: And if I were your husband I would drink it.

Bessie Braddock (to Winston Churchill): Winston, you're drunk.
Churchill: Bessie, you're ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober.

Last week I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement. (Mark Twain)

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. (Groucho Marx)

Lawyers

It's not the people who are in prison worry me. It's the people who aren't. (Arthur Gore)

Love, Sex, Men vs Women

It's not the men in my life that counts - it's the life in my men. (Mae West)

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me. (Mae West)

It's better to be looked over than overlooked. (Mae West)

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. (Mae West)

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom. (Joan Rivers)

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. (Joan Rivers)

Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired. (Mae West)

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects. (Les Dawson)

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. (Jack Benny)

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. (Rudyard Kipling)

A man is only as old as the woman he feels. (Groucho Marx)

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly like mine - we were both crazy about girls. (Groucho Marx)

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. (Bill Vaughan)

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. (Charlotte Whitton)

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. (Jilly Cooper)

When you see a married couple coming down the street, the one who is two or three steps ahead is the one that's mad. (Helen Rowland)

When you see what some women marry, you realise how they must hate to work for a living. (Helen Rowland)

The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform. (Alfred Kinsey)

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished. (Zsa Zsa Gabor)

I never hated a man enough to give him diamonds back. (Zsa Zsa Gabor)

You mean apart from my own. (Zsa Zsa Gabor, asked how many husbands she had had)

Relations

A lot of people would rather tour sewers than visit their cousins. (Jane Howard)

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year. (Victor Borge)

Science, Technology

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. (Charles D. Warner)

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics. (Benjamin Disraeli)

Biologically speaking, if something bites you, it is more likely to be female. (Desmond Morris)

Social Behaviour

Be awfully nice to them going up, because you're going to meet them all coming down. (Jimmy Durante)

Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it. (Harry S. Truman)

There is only one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says 'yes' he's not honest. (Groucho Marx)

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. (Mark Twain)

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is just putting on its shoes. (Mark Twain)

When I'm good, I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better. (Mae West)

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. (Mae West)

It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless of course you are an exceptionally good liar. (Jerome K. Jerome)

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. (W.C. Fields)

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. (Mark Twain)

All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening. (Alexander Woollcott)

There is only one immutable law in life - in a gentleman's toilet, incoming traffic has the right of way. (Hugh Leonard)

Miscellaneous

It's not what I do, but the way I do it. It's not what I say, but the way I say it. (Mae West)

Another fine mess you're gotten me into. (Stan Laurel)

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. (Bert Lance)

Go ahead, make my day. (Clint Eastwood)

When the going gets tough, the tough get going. (Joseph P. Kennedy)

I'm fat, but I'm thin inside…there's a thin man inside every fat man. (George Orwell)

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain. (Mark Twain)

It's not true I had nothing on. I had the radio on. (Marilyn Monroe, asked if she really had nothing on in a calendar photograph)

Chanel No. 5. (Marilyn Monroe, asked what she wore in bed)

30th June

ON THE JOB: Enjoy yourself AT WORK so that you are happier in all areas of your life

We spend so much time at work, whether it be at home or in a business, that what happen during those hours will impact on our view of our whole day, life and the world in general.

We need to develop skills in overcoming obstacles that we will inevitably encounter every day so that we can still enjoy the rest of our lives.

1. Take care of yourself. Healthy eating habits, following a regular sleep routine and exercise all contribute to your well being which allows you to perform at your best.

2. Do the worst first. If you find you cannot stop worrying about a certain task, then do the worst task first. Once that task is completed you will feel relieved and able to concentrate on the rest of your tasks, one at a time.

3. Focus on the task at hand. Attempting too much at once and underestimating the time it takes to do it will surely put you right back in the center of feeling overwhelmed and a step behind.

4. Control the phone. Decide when and where you will answer the phone. During off-time--use voice mail.

5. Separate work from play. Are you running the dinner table conversation the same as a meeting of the Board of Directors? Think about it.

6. Keep a Master List. Merge all your to-do lists, schedules and activity lists into one Master List. Use the technology that works for you whether it is index cards, spiral notebook, computer or a PDA.

7. Clean off your desk. Clutter is a distraction and time waster. How much time do you waste looking for documents and files?

8. Learn to say no. Take a reality break and identify what you can reasonably expect to get done. Accept your limitations and control your expectations. Would you really expect anybody else to work as hard as you do?

9. Use technology to help you. Create systems for handling your routine tasks. Take the time to learn how to use your computer to improve your efficiency to perform routine business tasks. Use templates for letters, faxes and email.

10. Slow down. Are you rushing through everything? Stop, look and listen.

29th June

Calculating your retirement by Laura Bruce

If you retire at age 65, your retirement could last 30 years or more. And many of you would like to say adieu to the work-a-day world when you're in your 50s. Will you have the financial wherewithal to do that?

Of course, that answer is determined by how much money is available in your retirement plan, Social Security benefits and any additional personal savings or investments. Will it be enough? The odds are, you don't know.

But experts say having a realistic estimate of how much income you'll need during retirement is key to a successful retirement plan.

Think about the future Only about a third of us take the time to calculate our retirement needs. The American Savings Education Council says people who calculate their needs are far more likely to hit the target than those who just plunk an arbitrary amount into a 401(k). (USA reference)

Unfortunately, too many people guess and shortchange themselves, according to Bob Barry, president of the Financial Planning Association.

"People have a weird concept of what they're going to spend money on. People who make $160,000 say they'll need $40,000 to $50,000 a year when they retire." In fact, the person making $160,000 a year is likely to need at least $112,000 per year in retirement. That's right.

For most of us it's best to count on needing 70 percent to 90 percent of our pre-retirement income to live comfortably.

The ASEC's annual retirement confidence survey shows 17 percent of workers believe they'll need less than half of their pre-retirement income, and another 25 percent expect to need no more than 60 percent.

Perhaps people underestimate their future needs because they're doing a poor job of saving for retirement and they'd rather not know how far off the mark they are. The ASEC says less than 25 percent of those ages 40 to 59 have saved $100,000 or more.

A fair question is just how do you go about assessing your future income needs? Is it really as simple as determining 70 percent or 90 percent of your current income? No. There's that pesky inflation factor. What return will your savings and investments generate? Will there be a long bear market in your saving years, or your retirement years?

Do you want to travel the world and stay at first-class hotels or would you be happy renting an RV to visit Mount Rushmore?

And that's just for starters.

If you really want to get a grip on what you'll need for retirement, talk with an adviser, such as a certified financial planner.

"Your life should control your finances, not your finances control your life," says Barry.

"Spend time telling us what you'd like your life to be like in retirement and we'll tell you what you need to fund it. Be ready to spend a significant amount of time talking about what you've learned about money, what you're passionate about, what you want to do.

"If you went to the doctor tomorrow and found out you have five years to live -- and you'd be in pretty good health until then -- whatever is incorporated in that answer is what the financial planner should consider."

Seeing a planner is undoubtedly your best bet, but given that most of you probably aren't reaching for the phone book to find one, we'll look at an alternative that's a step in the right direction (and is free): a retirement calculator, the kind available on dozens of personal finance Web sites including this one.

( at Bankrate.com) "What's critical to a successful retirement is to get started as soon as possible. The calculations will show you how big the job is, and it's a really big job," says Stewart Welch of The Welch Group in Birmingham, Ala.

Go figure

One problem though is the calculators themselves. Some ask a lot of questions, others hardly any. Some will say you can retire at 60, others will have you working until you're 75.

Welch agrees the calculators have limitations, but says just going through the math is helpful.

"The fact that you can go to three different calculators and get three fairly significantly different answers isn't so problematic. It's a good idea to not assume one will give you the correct answer.

What's really important is to go through the exercise, and it's even more important to repeat the exercise.

"Don't assume you're going to do a calculation now and find you have to invest $1,000 a month and just do that for 20 years.

Review it on an annual basis. If we got on a plane for Seattle and set the initial course, we'd end up in the ocean if we didn't fine tune it along the way."

Michael Everett, professor of economics and finance at East Tennessee State University, says he's never been comfortable with any of the calculators he's tried on the Internet.

"I didn't know the assumptions they were using. Were they real returns, or nominal returns? You hear most stocks return 12 percent on average, but is it a real or nominal return? If you had $100 and got 12 percent, at the end of the year you could buy $12 more goods if it was a real return.

But if it was nominal -- say inflation was 5 percent that year -- you'd only be able to buy $7 more goods. "The next question is, what do you think the inflation rate will be? Well, how do I know?"

Everett would like to see software developers come up with more powerful and user-friendly calculators that would run varying portfolios -stocks, bonds, or balanced -- over different historical periods to see how they perform over good roads and bad roads.

"We could say let's retire you in 1928 and put all your money in stocks. Actually, you don't do too badly," says Everett. "You could do worse if you put all your money in stocks in 1965. It wasn't as deep but it was more prolonged.

The market started down in 1928 and bottomed in 1933. In the '60s and '70s, the market started down in '68 and didn't recover until '89."

Everett says it's important to add a historical perspective when calculating retirement needs because we can't assume that history won't repeat.

"Our markets are extremely overvalued by historical standards -- much more so than 1929. The market could collapse or go sideways for 10 years.

Look at Japan. We used to think they would take over the world. In the '80s their market went up threefold, in the '90s it collapsed threefold."

That type of analysis shows why Everett doesn't like to apply averages, as in returns, when it comes to individuals.

Averages, says Everett, are fine for pension managers. "An individual is going to get a return in one specific period. A lot of advice is based on those averages. Averages look less risky. You average out the good and the bad so the returns don't fluctuate so much.

But what happens for an individual could be much better or much worse. In general, an individual's risk is much greater than the average."

Whether you visit a planner or use an online calculator, you'll need to have a good idea of how much income you can expect in your retirement years. Each year, around your birthday, the Social Security Administration sends you a statement estimating the benefits you'll be receiving.

================================================= Go to Bankrate.com for more articles on finance and retirement, and also to use their calculators as well as other retirement planning tips from the Social Security Administration. Another site that has several retirement calculators is Choose To Save.

28th June

Deep Sleep: The Great Rejuvenator

An article in the June 3 issue of New Scientist says if you ignore your body's natural clock by working and playing at any time of the day or night, you could set a time bomb for illness, injury and even death, according to sleep experts.

The price of ignoring your natural sleep patterns can range from aches and pains to heart disease to chronic fatigue syndrome.

A regular bedtime can be as important to your health as stopping smoking or cutting back on saturated fat.

Your biological clock, nestled in the hypothalamus region of your brain, controls what time you eat and rest, the rhythmic surge of hormones, changes in body temperature, immune system activity and a host of other body functions.

Different people have different sleep patterns. Some are morning people while others are nocturnal creatures. Problems arise when you ignore your natural body rhythms to meet the demands of work or family says the article.

People who restrict their sleep or are engaged in shift work where sleep becomes fragmented and disturbed are at risk for cardiovascular disease.

This has been shown in nurses who have been engaged in shift work over a long period of time. They show an increased risk for heart attacks.

Sleep debt can also contribute to depression, and lost sleep creates dangers at work and on the roads.

Sleep deprivation results in impairment in people's capabilities to operate in their usual, expected way, and they would not necessarily know that they are impaired. Most people require roughly seven to eight hours of sleep a night to stay alert through the day. Some of the warning signs of sleep deprivation include fatigue, irritability, difficulty concentrating, confusion and depression.

Even while getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep, starting with middle age, and worsening from there on, sleep tends to become less and less deep.

Deep sleep, known as stage III and IV sleep, is where most of the healing, repair and regeneration takes place.

It is also when the body secretes the most growth hormone. Therefore promoting deep sleep is a key to feeling young in body, mind and spirit.

So remember, one of the secrets of staying young is to sleep like a baby! And by using the right combination of lifestyle and products below, you can come closer at least.

Recommended Lifestyle and Supplement Protocol for Mild Depression As always make sure you have the basics covered.

Good dietary habits, regular exercise, rejuvenating sleep, with alcohol, caffeine and tobacco avoided or in moderation at least.

Taking a very complete six-a-day multivitamin/mineral (MultiWellness) is essential. Men over 40 should consider adding to the above Hgh Plus and MaleWellness, as these hormones tend to restore a more youthful, confident and an optimistic state of mind.

Women over 40 may want to enhance progesterone (Projuvine) especially if their symptoms are pre-menstrual.

Women at or past the "change of life" should consider Hgh Plus and either Projuvine or EstroPro.

The latter contains progesterone and three natural estrogens. Estrogen is thought to be very protective of the mind, so unless there is strong breast cancer concern or risk, or one is already on estrogens, EstroPro comes highly recommended. Progesterone (Projuvine) is a natural antidepressant.

The other basic is deep sleep. Exercise, avoiding caffeine after noon, dark rooms, white noise, cool bedrooms and hot baths are all helpful. Three different RxforWellness products promote sleep. PM Wellness is herbs and minerals for adults of any age.

It may take two weeks for the effects to be noticed by some. Melatonin is more indicated the more above 40 you are. Also, night workers, those travelling across time zones, and women with hot flashes often do well with melatonin (Sleep Wellness). 5-HTP is the other great natural sleep inducer.

It is also an antidepressant, anti-anxiolytic and tends to curb carbohydrate and chocolate craves. Therefore, if your depression is strongly related to poor and difficult sleep, 5-HTP is to be strongly considered. 5-HTP is presented more fully below. Please keep in mind that many common prescription medications cause tiredness, loss of libido and flattening of emotions. So always consult your doctor.

Now if you have been following the above recommendations for several months and still feel in low spirits, then supplementation specific for mood elevation is likely indicated.

27th June

Nitty-Gritty Reasons by Jim Rohn

Wouldn't it be wonderful to be motivated to achievement by such a lofty goal as benevolence? I must confess, however, that in the early years of my struggle to succeed, my motivation was a lot more down-to-earth. My reason for succeeding was more basic. In fact, it fell into the category of what I like to call "nitty-gritty reasons." A nitty-gritty reason is the kind that any one of us can have -- at any time, on any day -- and it can cause our lives to change. Let me tell you what happened to me . . .

Shortly before I met Mr. Shoaff, I was lounging at home one day when I heard a knock at the door. It was a timid, hesitant knock. When I opened the door I looked down to see a pair of big brown eyes staring up at me. There stood a frail little girl of about ten. She told me, with all the courage and determination her little heart could muster, that she was selling Girl Scout cookies. It was a masterful presentation -- several flavors, a special deal, and only two dollars per box. How could anyone refuse? Finally, with a big smile and ever-so politely, she asked me to buy. And I wanted to. Oh, how I wanted to!

Except for one thing. I didn't have two dollars! Boy, was I embarrassed! Here I was -- a father, had been to college, was gainfully employed -- and yet I didn't have two dollars to my name.

Naturally I couldn't tell this to the little girl with the big brown eyes. So I did the next best thing. I lied to her. I said, "Thanks, but I've already bought Girl Scout cookies this year. And I've still got plenty stacked in the house."

Now that simply wasn't true. But it was the only thing I could think of to get me off the hook. And it did. The little girl said, "That's okay, sir. Thank you very much." And with that she turned around and went on her way.

I stared after her for what seemed like a very long time. Finally, I closed the door behind me and, leaning my back to it, cried out, "I don't want to live like this anymore. I've had it with being broke, and I've had it with lying. I'll never be embarrassed again by not having any money in my pocket." That day I promised myself to earn enough to always have several hundred dollars in my pocket at all times.

This is what I mean by a nitty-gritty reason. It may not win me any prize for greatness, but it was enough to have a permanent effect on the rest of my life.

My Girl-Scout-cookie story does have a happy ending. Several years later, as I was walking out of my bank where I had just made a hefty deposit and was crossing the street to get into my car, I saw two little girls who were selling candy for some girls' organization. One of them approached me, saying, "Mister, would you like to buy some candy?"

"I probably would," I said playfully. "What kind of candy do you have?"

"It's almond roca."

"Almond roca. That's my favorite. How much is it?"

"It's only two dollars."

Two dollars. It couldn't be! I was excited. "How many boxes of candy have you got?"

"I've got five."

Looking at her friend, I said, "And how many boxes do you have left?"

"I've got four."

"That's nine. Okay, I'll take them all."

At this, both girls' mouths fell open as they exclaimed in unison, "Really?"

"Sure," I said. "I've got some friends that I'll pass some around to."

Excitedly, they scurried to stack all the boxes together. I reached into my pocket and gave them eighteen dollars. As I was about to leave, the boxes tucked under my arm, one of the girls looked up and said, "Mister, you're really something!" How about that! Can you imagine spending only eighteen dollars and having someone look you in the face and say, "You're really something!"

Now you know why I always carry a few hundred dollars on me. I'm not about to miss chances like that ever again.

And to think it all resulted from my own embarrassment, that when properly channeled, acted as a powerful motivator to help me achieve.

How about you? What nitty-gritty reasons do you have waiting to challenging and provoke you into change for the better? Look for them, they are there. Sometimes it can be as simple as a brown-eyed girl selling Girl Scout cookies.

To Your Success,Jim Rohn

26th June

Establishing Dreams and Goals by Jim Rohn (Excerpted from Week Six of the Jim Rohn One-Year Success Plan)

One of the amazing things we have been given as humans is the unquenchable desire to have dreams of a better life, and the ability to establish goals to live out those dreams. Think of it: We can look deep within our hearts and dream of a better situation for ourselves and our families; dream of better financial lives and better emotional or physical lives; certainly dream of better spiritual lives.

But what makes this even more powerful is that we have also been given the ability to not only dream but to pursue those dreams and not only to pursue them, but the cognitive ability to actually lay out a plan and strategies (setting goals) to achieve those dreams. Powerful! And that is what we will discuss in detail this week: How to dream dreams and establish goals to get those dreams.

What are your dreams and goals? This isn't what you already have or what you have done, but what you want. Have you ever really sat down and thought through your life values and decided what you really want? Have you ever taken the time to truly reflect, to listen quietly to your heart, to see what dreams live within you? Your dreams are there. Everyone has them. They may live right on the surface, or they may be buried deep from years of others telling you they were foolish, but they are there.

So how do we know what our dreams are? This is an interesting process and it relates primarily to the art of listening. This is not listening to others; it is listening to yourself. If we listen to others, we hear their plans and dreams (and many will try to put their plans and dreams on us). If we listen to others, we can never be fulfilled. We will only chase elusive dreams that are not rooted deep within us. No, we must listen to our own hearts.

Let's take a look at some practical steps/thoughts on hearing from our hearts on what our dreams are:

Take time to be quiet. This is something that we don't do enough in this busy world of ours. We rush, rush, rush, and we are constantly listening to noise all around us. The human heart was meant for times of quiet, to peer deep within. It is when we do this that our hearts are set free to soar and take flight on the wings of our own dreams! Schedule some quiet "dream time" this week. No other people. No cell phone. No computer. Just you, a pad, a pen, and your thoughts (you get to do this in the workbook exercises this week).

Think about what really thrills you. When you are quiet, think about those things that really get your blood moving. What would you LOVE to do, either for fun or for a living? What would you love to accomplish? What would you try if you were guaranteed to succeed? What big thoughts move your heart into a state of excitement and joy? When you answer these questions you will feel Great and you will be in the "dream zone." It is only when we get to this point that we experience what Our dreams are!

Write down all of your dreams as you have them. Don't think of any as too outlandish or foolish - remember, you're dreaming! Let the thoughts fly and take careful record.

Now, prioritize those dreams. Which are most important? Which are most feasible? Which would you love to do the most? Put them in the order in which you will actually try to attain them. Remember, we are always moving toward action, not just dreaming.

Here is the big picture: Life is too short to not pursue your dreams. Someday your life will near its end and all you will be able to do is look backwards. You can reflect with joy or regret. Those who dream, who set goals and act on them to live out their dreams are those who live lives of joy and have a sense of peace when they near the end of their lives. They have finished well, for themselves and for their families.

Remember: These are the dreams and goals that are born out of your heart and mind. These are the goals that are unique to you and come from who you were created to be and gifted to become. Your specific goals are what you want to attain because they are what will make your life joyful and bring your family's life into congruence with what you want it to be.

Until next week, let's do something remarkable!

Jim Rohn

25th June

Mood and Memory Wellness: How to be Spirited and Sharp for 100 Years!

Oliver Wendell Holmes, the American writer and physician, wrote to a colleague poet on her seventieth birthday:

"To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old."

"Few people know how to be old", wrote La Rochefoucauld in his Maximes.

Successful aging becomes increasingly an important issue, as in our "grey world" the segment of the elderly population is on the rise.

In Germany, the number of centenarians was over 4000 in 1993 and is estimated to reach up to 23,000 this year (2000).

In the US, the over 85 group is the fastest growing segment of the population. Mental activity is of paramount importance for maintaining the ability to cope adequately with stress, with health problems, limitations and handicaps, and particularly for the persisting capability to enjoy life.

It is becoming more and more clear that aging is not necessarily equivalent with decay and decrepitude. Factors such as diet, nutrition, physical and mental exercise have been underestimated or ignored as potential moderators of the aging process. There are risk factors that are known to increase morbidity in the elderly and which can be prevented. They include cigarette smoking, heavy alcohol consumption and inadequate water, mineral and B vitamin intake.

There are studies indicating that much of the cognitive loss in late middle life that has been considered to be intrinsic to aging, is caused in part by extrinsic factors and may therefore be preventable or reversible.

Practical Hints to Keep Your Brain Healthy

Maintaining the health of your brain and body is not only important for you but also for your family and friends.

Although the brain ages in parallel with other organs of our body, an increasing number of productive and creative elderly persons bear testimony to the brain's remarkable capacity to function at an exceptional level even at an advanced age. Are there ways to keep the brain functional? Absolutely!

First, be on guard. A significant change in your personality, mood, or behavior (sometimes noted by others) could be a sign for a disorder that should be treated. Consult your physician, especially if the simple recommendations herein do not improve your mood and memory.

1) Keep your brain busy. Engage in mental exercise such as reading, puzzle solving, playing an instrument, playing games, learning new skills (e.g. take a language course, enroll in courses offered by the university for senior citizens), taking part in discussion groups.

2) A healthy brain lives in a healthy body. Regularly perform physical exercise to maintain muscle strength, endurance, and mobility. By exercising your body, you also exercise your brain because the control and coordination of your limbs is controlled by the brain. Keep your body in good shape by an adequate diet. Stay well hydrated with plenty of water. Endeavor to get the deepest sleep you can, as deep sleep is the great rejuvenator.

3) Avoid risks to the health of your body. Do not smoke, do not consume excessive amounts of alcohol and caffeine. Be careful and sensitive to the possible side effects of medications.

4) Prepare for the future. When you retire from your job, have an alternative social structure ready to keep you stimulated and challenged. Margaret Mead, the well-known anthropologist, said:

"If you associate enough with older people who do enjoy their lives, who are not stored away in any golden ghettos, you will gain a sense of continuity and of the possibility for a full life".

Avoid becoming isolated and lonely!

5) Feed your head. As we get older it becomes even more important that we endeavor to keep our antioxidants and the hormones of youth optimal, while keeping the hormones of age, insulin and cortisol, under control.

We also want to consider herbs, amino acids, vitamins and other nutrients that can help keep our mood and memory young.

24th June

Your chances of staying healthy and living a long time can be improved if you:

1. Stay physically, mentally, and socially active.

2. Eat a nutrient dense diet of small frequent meals, including 5 to 9 helpings of fruits and vegetables a day. Don't over eat, even "good" food!

3. Get regular health check-ups and screening tests for heart disease and common cancers (skin, colon, lung, prostate, breast, cervical). Don't delay seeing your doctor for new symptoms, especially over 40!

4. Avoid overexposure to the sun and cold, don't smoke (it's never too late to quit), drink in moderation and don't drink and drive!

5. Practice safety habits at home to prevent falls and fractures. Always wear your seat belt in a car.

6. Keep or develop a spiritual belief system that enables you to re-negotiate life at every turn, adjusting to and accepting the inevitable losses and changes that come with longevity.

7. Cultivate (or keep) a love of and appreciation for life and others, and a positive, yet realistic, attitude. Don't sweat the small stuff. Do the things that make you happy. NOW!

8. Keep personal and financial records in order to simplify budgeting and investing. Plan long-term housing and money needs.

9. Supplement your diet, adding an iron free multi-vitamin/mineral and anti-oxidant supplementation. Keep abreast of the advances in natural medicine and anti-aging.

10. If you desire feeling, performing and looking young as long as possible, maintain the "hormones of youth" (HGH, DHEA, sex hormones, melatonin) at optimal levels through natural hormonal enhancements.

23rd June

Four Reasons Why We Procrastinate,

Four Reasons Why We Procrastinate, self help article by Carol Halsey

Have you ever spent time thinking about a task you need to tackle but keep putting off, then spend time telling yourself you just must get started and wondering when you will start it, and then feeling guilty because you are working on other tasks instead. Yet this one keeps hanging over your head.

If this sounds familiar, you may be one of the many people who procrastinate, and procrastination is probably the biggest time waster.

Putting off the inevitable, sometimes until a deadline is staring you in the face, causes the highest stress level, and results in managing time by crises. There are many reasons why people procrastinate. For some it happens occasionally under specific circumstances, and for others, it is a way of life. Here we will explore a few of the reasons behind why people procrastinate.

1. Poor work habits. These people procrastinate on everything. They are so far behind that they are constantly trying to keep up with yesterday. Boy, talk about high stress!! Their response is usually, "I work best under pressure." If the truth be known, they are poor organizers and have trouble prioritising tasks and scheduling their time. It is easier to wait until the last minute to start a task because in their mind it is now important.

2. Feeling overwhelmed. When we don't know how to do something, it is easier not to do anything at all. Or maybe we feel it would be too time consuming to learn what is needed to accomplish a particular task. It seems like it would take forever to complete. This is the time to break the task down into manageable parts. Decide a starting point and work for short periods of time, say 10 to 20 minutes. Then check off each part as completed. This imparts the feeling of accomplishment as work is being completed.

3. Trying to be perfect. What may be the goal of the perfectionist may well be looked on by others as nitpicking. Perfectionists usually see their responsibilities as burdens, making it more difficult for them to accomplish tasks in a timely manner. They start tasks but put off completion until it meets their standards for perfection. However, these standards are most likely not recognized or appreciated by others, and thereby the perfectionist has wasted a lot of time to accomplish the unnecessary. The perfectionist could strive for excellence rather than perfection.

Excellence is defined as "very good of its kind" or " high-quality performance." Perfection is defined as "the condition of being flawless" which is not impossible, but most unlikely to achieve. Focus on what is realistic rather than what is ideal. Do the best you can in the time allowed. The time investment should be appropriate to the magnitude of the task or project.

4. Rather do something else. Unfortunately, we all dislike certain tasks that we have to do anyway. It could be filing, expense reports, or writing a report. So we keep putting it off, wishing it would go away. Think what would happen by delaying all unpleasant duties. After a while, their numbers build up to where that's all there is to do. Then everything is unpleasant.

Consider the consequences of not doing the unpleasant task. Recognize that it will not go away, but just delaying the inevitable.

Identify why you procrastinate on a particular task or project - do you hate it, are you feeling overwhelmed by a pending deadline, have a fear of failure, or are you just waiting for the' right time' to start.

Try setting aside a half hour a day to get started on whatever you are putting off. By working a half hour at a time, you will overcome the overwhelmed feeling and increase the momentum to work faster. Consider the risks of waiting for that last minute 'high.' What if you got sick, priorities changed, or an unexpected crises or event developed. Recall the nightmare experienced the last time you procrastinated until the last minute.

When we procrastinate, we get behind before we even start, and create a major time problem. ©2001 Carol Halsey is Founder and President of http://www.PilesToFiles.com.

22nd June

If we stop and think about it, most of us do know how to live on one income. Here are some tips to get you started:

1. Remember those College Days. Bet funds were limited then. If you don't remember, look up some campus newspapers on the internet and see what the poor crowd are doing for entertainment.

2. Think about those lazy, hazy summer days of tenting and cottaging. If you simplify your life drastically, people will say your lifestyle reminds them of being at the cottage.

3. Visit your grandmother or great grandmother and her friends. Many people who lived through the depression know lots and lots about household economy. They also know how to put a good face on poverty and present an elegant lifestyle to the world.

4. Go to the Library. There are all kinds of books on decorating, learning to cook, learning to clean, making things, etc.

21ST June

Stress Busters, self help stress management article by Tracie Johansen

Happiness and wellbeing self help article about self help, stress management, stress therapy, happiness, personal development, relaxation therapy.

It seems we never have enough time to get everything done.

You run all day and just when you think you can relax something else comes up. Here are a few ways to ease your everyday stress that only takes a few minutes, but will make your life a little easier.

1.) Sit in a comfortable chair, close your eyes and breath deeply in through your nose filling your chest with air. Breath out slowly through your mouth releasing the problems of the day. Think only about the things that make you happy. Do this for 5 minutes.

2.) Sit in a comfortable position. Lean your head against the back of a chair. Close eyes, take a deep breath and place each thumb at a point on the base of the skull near each ear. Move thumbs downward from ears to shoulder tops; press and hold tense spots as you go. Then rub back of neck from base of skull downward, pressing and holding tense spots. Cross one arm over chest and press muscles along top of opposite shoulder; hold until tension is released. Repeat with other arm. Drop arms to sides, and breath, imagining your skull is heavy as a bowling ball. Relax completely.

3.) Take a Bubble Bath. Light scented candles all around you, and turn off the lights and listen to classical music. Imagine your self on a quiet Tropical Island. See your self relaxing on a great lounge chair while servants take care of your every need.

4.) Get a good night's sleep: Don't drink coffee or eat too late as it makes it difficult to sleep. Try listening to soothing music as you drift off to sleep. Don't think about what you need to do the next day.

One thing that works well for me is counting backwards from 600 to 0 by 4's ie; 600, 596, 592, 588, 584, this makes it very difficult to think of other things that keep you awake.

5.) Add a few drops of calming aroma to Canola or Sunflower oil. Smooth on temples or earlobes.

6.) Exercise; It increases blood flow, bringing more oxygen to your brain and un kinks tight muscles.

7.) To ease kinks out of shoulders and upper body. While sitting at your desk, alternate each arm, reaching toward the ceiling. Do this for 5 minutes.

8.) Light scented candles around the room. Turn off lights lay on your back and reach arms and legs toward the ceiling. Rotate, starting with each arm and then each leg. Do this for 10 minutes.

9.) Rotate your head stretching as far as you can. Start to your right shoulder, then to the back as if looking at the ceiling, then to left shoulder then to front, putting your chin to your chest. Do for a few minutes then rotate starting with left shoulder.

10.)Close your eyes. Lift both arms over your head until your hands touch. Slowly lower your arms down to your sides up and down as if in a flying motion. Imagine you are a bird flying over the ocean. Let your imagination soar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~© 2000-2001 Tracie Johansen Excerpts from 1001 Beauty Tips. Get Your copy now at http://www.1001beautytips.com. Homemade skin and hair care, beauty tips, weight loss tips, recipes, nutrition tips and more.

20th June

Set Up a Game Night for Family Fun,

Could your family benefit from something different than the typical night at the movies and a burger?

Then look no further than your own family room for a way to create fun, learning and unity.

Creating a regular family game night is one way to break the routine and inject some laughter into what might be a dull mix of events, obligations and chores. Learning opportunities and family unity go along with the fun. Here are a few pointers to help make it happen:

* Whether you schedule the game night weekly or monthly, be sure that nothing except emergencies will be allowed to interfere. Kids need to know they can count on this special night.

* Stay focused on the event by limiting all outside distractions. For example, allow voice mail to manage telephone calls. Everyone will enjoy the activities more and the children will see that you are really tuned in to them.

* If the children want to stretch the game night to the last minute, have them put on their pyjamas so they are ready for bed.

* Instead of dinner, prepare a variety of appetizers. For example, you could serve veggies and dip, mozzarella cheese sticks, buffalo wings, fruit, and finger sandwiches. Let the kids graze in between turns. It's a fun alternative to your nightly routine.

* Stock up on a variety of board games suitable for your age groups. There are plenty of games on the market that teach reasoning, coordination and spelling, but Clue, Scrabble and Yahtzee are traditional popular choices.

* Occasionally invite friends over to provide greater social interaction. Children will be able to practice good sportsmanship while being competitive, and they will be exposed to various learning opportunities for developing patience and generousity. Now and then, throw in some video games as another way to spice things up.

* Give the children some ownership of the activity by allowing them to choose the games, decide which night works best, and select and prepare the appetizers. The more involvement they have, the more sustained their interest will be.

* Once in a while, you could use the scheduled time to go bowling, go-cart racing, or miniature golfing. Keep it active -- family game night shouldn't be used for anything non-game oriented.

With family game night, you have special family time set aside regardless of what else occurs during the week. It is a time for bonding, learning, and experimenting with the spirit of competition in a safe atmosphere. Your children will learn important skills and values while spending time with the people they love and trust the most -- their parents.

Andy Pavanov edits the Good Games newsletter at http://www.yngames.com

19th June

self help logic for flexible Parents, on discipline for children

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN) To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...

here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was

"DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit! " said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so! " God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? " God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you? " said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it! " Adam said.

"Did not! "

"Did too! "

"DID NOT! "

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day. AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

Quick, send this page link on to ten people within the next five minutes. Nothing will happen if you don't, but if you do, ten people will be laughing.

18th June

15 Goal Setting Tips for Parents

Have you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know the resolutions where you turn over a new leaf to get fit, steer away from junk food and start a savings plan.

While you are reflecting on past bad habits and setting new directions for your personal life consider taking stock of your parenting as well.

A word of warning -- you will probably feel a little inadequate as you look back on some of your past practices. If you are like most parents you nag your kids too much, over-react when they mess up and you probably regret not spending enough time with them.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Not only is parenting the world’s hardest job but children aren’t born with owner’s manuals so we tend to rely on trial and error a great deal.

As you ponder the next twelve months of parenthood here are 15 New Year’s resolutions to consider. Avoid trying to adopt every idea. Be realistic and choose one or two to add to your list of New Year’s resolutions.

1. Be consistent with your discipline. This is a big ask as dealing with kids’ misbehaviour tests the patience and resolve of the even the most assured parents. Set consistent limits and boundaries, even for adolescents, and be willing to negotiate and give a little ground.

When children refuse to cooperate or break the rules, act calmly and reasonably rather than resort to severe measures to ‘teach them a lesson’.

2. Avoid nagging, yelling and constantly reminding children to cooperate. Sometimes it is better to keep quiet than nag or remind children to do their chores, behave or just be reasonable human beings.

It is no coincidence that parents who nag frequently complain of ‘deaf’ children. There is usually nothing wrong with children’s hearing. They simply listen to what they want to hear.

3. Focus on children’s positive behaviours. If you find yourself continually pointing out your children’s misbehaviour and getting nowhere then try to ignore the inappropriate as much as possible.

Get into the habit of ‘catching kids being good’. Like adults, children respond to favourable comments and are likely to adopt behaviours that gain them attention.

4. Encourage children persistently. It has been estimated that children hear 17 negative comments at home for every piece of praise or encouragement. Exposure to continuous criticism and negative comments can have disastrous effects on children’s self esteem. If you are not an encouraging person then linking your positive comments to something you normally do such as saying good night to your children.

Then you will know that you have encouraged them at least once each day. That’s a good start.

5. Spend more time together as a family. In an era of working parents and busy children finding time for everyone to be home together is increasingly difficult. Be specific with this goal or it will end up on the scrap heap of broken resolutions. Aim to have at least one shared mealtime each week or spend one weekend a month devoted purely to family purposes.

6. Give yourself a regular break. Don’t be a slave to your family. Taking time out to do something just for yourself is a necessity rather than a luxury.

Revise your household routine, solicit the help of your partner or relatives, or employ a baby-sitter to provide you with some time-off.

7. Plan some time to be with your partner. Whether it is a romantic weekend away or just meeting for coffee together once a week make sure you have an opportunity to spend time with your partner - and don’t talk about the kids.

8. Make guilt work for you. Let’s face it, parents can find plenty of issues to feel guilty about. Leaving children in child-care, long hours spent at work, and even discipline measures are common sources of guilt.

Avoid easing your guilt by being too lenient, spoiling or indulging children with toys or other material possessions. Guilt can be beneficial though; if it reminds you to take time off work to attend a child’s school play children or prompts you to hire some domestic help to create more family time.

9. Make a plan to survive those difficult times. Only television families are free of manic times of the day. Mealtime mayhem, morning madness and bedtime battles are common in many families.

Identify your difficult time of the day and get super organised and be willing to make yourself scarce if children make unnecessary demands on you at these times.

10. Stay out of children’s fights. Brawling siblings disturb the peace so it is difficult for parents not to become involved. Chances are you either plead for peace and quiet, make a ruling to end the dispute, or take sides to lay blame on the child who caused the infraction. If you are tired of interfering in children’s battles then leave it up to them to resolve.

When your children begin to bicker beat it to another part of the house or boot them outside until they have finished.

11. Control that television set. If the television is continually on in your house then it is time to establish some tight limits for viewing. Ten hours per week is a reasonable guideline for children of most ages. Have a television-free night and let children sample other forms of entertainment.

12. Check your children’s computer usage. Computers are rapidly replacing the television as the electronic baby-sitter in many families. To be fair, computers have more educational potential than the television but children predominantly use them for games, unless they receive assistance and direction from parents.

Pull up a chair and join in rather than leave children to their own devices whenever they hit a computer.

13. Avoid giving into temper tantrums. Do you give in when your toddler throws himself on his back in the supermarket and thrashes about like a crab? Do you throw your hands up in despair if your teenager stomps off to her bedroom slamming the door behind her when she doesn’t get her own way?

Tantrums are a potent form of emotional blackmail designed to coerce parents to give in to children’s demands. Next time your child throws a major wobbly remove yourself and refuse to give in to such tactics.

14. Avoid the ‘good’ parent syndrome. Good parents protect children from many of life’s difficulties and rob them of opportunities to develop independence and responsibility.

They take forgotten lunches to school, pay fines for their children’s overdue library books and believe that chores are for parents rather than children. If this sounds familiar let children take more responsibility for their own actions in the coming year.

15. Keep misbehaviour in perspective. You probably think at times that your children or teenagers are the world’s worst or that no one else acts up like them. Think again. If your child misbehaves the chances are that he or she is no trailblazer. Many others mess up too. That is little comfort, however, if you have to put up with difficult kids day in and day out.

Regardless of how hard things become try to focus on their positive behaviours and work hard to maintain your relationship even if it appears that the effort is all one way. Your persistence will pay off in the long run.

For more great ideas from Michael Grose to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people subscribe to Happy Kids, his fortnightly email newsletter. Just visit www.parentingideas.com.au and subscribe. Receive a free report on Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry in your email box when you subscribe

--- Michael Grose © www.parentingideas.com.au Michael Grose - helping you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers Australia's most popular parenting educator. The author of six books and presenter of over 100 presentations every year Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

17th June

Top Ten Steps to Pursuing Your Dreams in the New Year By Donna P. Lendzyk Many people are not very successful in pursuing their dreams or with New Year's Resolutions while other people seem to easily achieve whatever they choose to pursue. The question for each of us is "How can I make it happen for me?"

1. Recognize & Celebrate Your Successes Of This Past Year Take your time, sit back & reflect on the last 12 months on what are your achievements & write them down. Include items like "I watched less television" or "I was less bothered by …" etc. Then once you have your list, take some time to show your pleasure & pride with your successes. You deserve it. We often take our successes for granted & yet this is a key step in having confidence to take on new challenges. Pick an activity or a way to celebrate that is right for you.

2. Identify Your Dreams For This Upcoming YearCreate 3-6 specific & short statements that identify what you really want. Then reflect & write down 2-4 sentences on what it will be like when you have achieved each of these goals. Be as descriptive as you can. Put this information somewhere you can pull out readily throughout your day.

3. Identify Your Key Steps You Will Take In The Next 3 Months That Will Move You Towards Your Dreams

You may prefer more broad strategic statements or you may prefer very specific tasks -- either way is fine -- select the approach that is right for you. Check that the steps you have selected are doable during this timeframe.

4. Commit To Yourself Daily That These Key Steps Are Your Priorities For Change During This TimeOther opportunities will come your way & you will need to choose if you will be distracted or not. You may want to review the material you prepared for item #2 on a daily basis to remind yourself why these key steps are so important for you.

5. Secure The Support That You Need To Be SuccessfulWe can be a lot more successful if we share our desires with someone we trust. This could be your friend, family member or a personal development coach. You may want more than one person's support. You may also need some tools to help you out like a daily reminder in your day timer or calendar.

6. Action Your Key Steps This is the most important step of all. Take that first step -- it's amazing how much enthusiasm & confidence you have for other items once you have a win or two.

7. Track Your Progress On A Regular Basis This may be on a daily, weekly or monthly basis -- you choose what's right for you. The key here is to keep track of you wins & look at your next ones to take. This aids in momentum.

8. Keep Your Cool -- Remember That Life Still Goes On At times, you may get overwhelmed with all you want to get done & that you may simply not have sufficient time in your day for everything. Be kind to yourself. I hear "Rome wasn't built in a day". You may also need to reduce or eliminate something temporarily or permanently that takes a lot of your time but is less important than your key steps. You may need to reduce the number of key steps you take at this time.

9. Celebrate Your SuccessesIt is really important that you celebrate your successes. It may be through writing yourself a congratulations letter with full details of what the accomplishments were & how you feel about it. Or it could be taking a nice, quiet bath where you pamper yourself. Choose to celebrate in a way that you will appreciate.

10. Repeat If you have chosen some big goals / dreams, you may not have them fully realized in the first 3 months, so you will need to repeat steps 3-9. (c) 2002 Donna P. Lendzyk Donna P. Lendzyk is a professional coach and creator of the Overcome Overwhelm System. She coaches businesswomen to "Overcome Overwhelm and Achieve Their Desired Results." She is the author of the multi-media “Overcome Overwhelm eProgram.” To learn more about her eprogram and sign up for more FREE tips like these, visit her website at http://www.overcomeoverwhelm.com

16th June

Emotion Management: a happiness strategy for couples. “You will find happiness in the exact same place you will find sadness. In your mind.” Pauline Kennedy The highly awarded social researcher David Myers, believes there are four character traits which people who are happy tend to have.

1. Self Esteem – happy people like themselves

2. Personal Control – happy people believe they are running their own lives

3. Optimism – happy people are filled with hope.

4. Being extroverted – happy people tend to be more outgoing.While you may not be born with those characteristics, you can certainly develop them. For a start, stop taking yourself so seriously. To make God laugh, all you have to do is tell Her your serious life plans. Here are some strategies for managing your emotional temperature to help keep it set on “happy”.

Celebrate every happy day. When the day flows for you, and your inner sun is shining brightly – celebrate it and congratulate yourself on making your day happy. Buy a little gift for yourself. Or give one to some one else. Make a note in your Journal, and notice how much more often you have reason to write about your happiness.

Guideline for living the simple abundance of life: No doubt that if we lived these suggestions every day, not just thought about them, we would realize as the Nearings did, that the good life is truly here and now. Do the best you can, whatever arises

Be at peace with yourself

Find a job you enjoy

Live in simple conditions

Contact nature every day, feel the earth under your feet

Take some physical exercise through hard work

Don’t worry, live one day at a time

Share something every day with someone else, write a note, help someone

Take time to contemplate and wonder at the world, have a laugh at life

Observe the one life in all things

Be kind to all the creatures, don’t hurt any living creature.

15th June

Live a Longer and Healthier Life.

You should balance your activities with the proper amount of rest. Some of the leading experts in the field of aging now believe that regular exercise along with the proper amount of rest may actually add years to the life span. Results from a number of tests indicate that speed and muscular strength of many of the elderly can be extended.

Leading authorities agree that this new data is going to shatter many of the myths about aging and physical performance. The conclusion now is that the performance and ability of the elderly has long been underestimated. Diet, proper sleep and exercise along with rest and relaxation are all important factors in preserving our bodies.

Laughter is one of the best things for your mental and physical state. People are naturally attracted to someone who has a good sense of humor. You can develop a good outlook and a good sense of humor by associating with and surrounding yourself with pleasant happy people.

Recognize that stress is a killer. A life filled with stress can really wreck havoc on your body, causing a number of illnesses such as heart attacks, strokes, asthma, gastric problems, menstrual disorders, ulcerative colitis, angina, irritable colon, increased blood pressure, ulcers, headaches, etc.

There are different types of stress such as mental, emotional and physical. Emotional stress seems to take the greatest toll on everyone. All stress is not bad; in fact life would not be very interesting if it were not met with challenges. However, too much stress, too often with no effective and appropriate outlet, does not allow the body and soul to recuperate.

You might review a typical week to see if you can identify things that might be making you anxious or causing you stress. Once identified, stressors can be attacked and eliminated.

Are you a worrier? Chronic worriers don't have more serious problems than others - they just think they do. Many worriers try to cope by trying not to think about their problems, but this just makes things worse. Doctors say that chronic worriers feel less anxious if they actually spend a half-hour a day thinking specifically about their problems.

Get plenty of exercise. People who are physically fit look good and feel good. A good exercise regimen will lengthen your life, improve your appearance, build self confidence and help delay the aging process.

Remember that you need to do something physical every day. If you don't use your joints, quite simply they'll tighten up with age to create the stooped, bent and worn out appearance we so often associate with old age.

Studies have shown that people with arthritis experience less pain if they continue to keep their joints flexible. As one gets older, the bones tend to get brittle which is why it is common for senior citizens to break bones and especially their hips when they fall.

Eating right, getting proper sleep and learning to relax are all very valuable in maintaining a healthy body and mind. And keep in mind that eating healthy foods and avoiding those high in fats, sodium and cholesterol will help decrease your risk of heart disease, high blood pressure and associated problems.

14th June

Six easy steps to Get Where You Want to Go - without the Stress:

self help goal setting article by Carol Halsey The comment I hear most frequently from business people is that they feel overwhelmed with work, and are often playing the game of "catch up." But there is a way for getting it all done without being overwhelmed.

You are probably thinking, "but you don't understand - all the phone calls, on the spot decisions, immediate tasks." But I do understand. These are the realities of business.

However, a little preplanning and goal setting can ease the daily pressures and find you additional time each day - as much as an hour - and relieve a whole lot of stress. It boils down to you being more in control of how your day goes, and not being controlled by the situations that hit you.

1. Identifying and writing down your goals, short and long term, is the beginning. You may already have done this, but how do you accomplish them in a timely manner?

2. Scheduling your time is the next step. The question is then, how do you plan your time to accomplish goals when you are under the gun with crises, deadlines and interruptions?

3. Start with a daily "to do" list, which identifies the uncompleted tasks required to meet each goal.

4. Next, prioritize those tasks in order of which must be accomplished first. We sometimes are so caught up in the urgent matters of the day that we fail to schedule time to undertake the important tasks that will lead us to our goals.

5. Allot time each day to address these tasks, in the form of blocks of quiet time, at least one hour, to work these tasks, and to plan. Find the most creative and productive time for you and use this time wisely. Let phone calls go to voice mail to be returned later.

This time is an appointment you make with yourself, and treat as any other business commitment. It gives you the sense of being in control of where you are going, and that you are taking the positive steps to get there. If circumstances arise that infringe on your quiet time, and surely at some time they will, reschedule for later in the day. You will soon realize the importance of having this quiet time.

6. Take 10 minutes at the end of each day to plan for tomorrow. Identify and prioritize tasks necessary to reach your goals on a daily "to do" list. However, be careful not to commit every minute, but allow flexibility for the unexpected and urgent events that surely will occur, and it also allows you to reschedule your quiet time if necessary. ©2001 Carol Halsey

Carol Halsey is Founder and President of Business Organizing Solutions. She is a professional organizer, consultant, speaker, and author of "93 Organizing Tips to Simplify Your Business Life." You can get this booklet and articles, ideas and a free Idea Kit, filled with simple tips for saving time, simply by visiting her web site: Http://www.PilesToFiles.com

13th June

Single Living Strategies for Unfair Work Demands

self help Contributors article Self Help Happiness at work, on the job article: Single Savers

“I would like to see some information geared to single households and some suggestions on how to deflect some of the nasty comments about being "selfish." I'm usually the one that gets to stay at work late because I "don't have a husband or children to go home to."

I have worked full time my whole life and would like to take some time (before retirement) to relax, pursue my interests, exercise and live life. I am a different person when not overscheduled and stressed.

Please can you help by soliciting suggestions from other single readers regarding saving, cutting expenses, and lifestyle? “ --- Margaret

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Start Taking Classes

A number of years ago, I was the one who always worked late and had to go in on days off to finish up jobs. When a community college opened near my home, I enrolled in several courses, one at a time.

I had a legitimate reason (not excuse) to leave on time to get to class two evenings each week. I chose subjects I wanted to know more about. The classes were very inexpensive and most lasted six to eight weeks. You can also audit classes for free or inexpensively, again in subjects that interest you.

I was having so much fun doing this that my boss and his family joined in some classes, and we all took "Line Dancing" together. Just tell them that you have to be at college immediately after work.

Not everyone has to know you are taking a course on Travel, Foreign Language, or Small Engine Repair. -- Bettie

Talk to Your Boss

You may not have kids or a husband, but you still have things to do at home. Tell the boss that you have commitments in life that are outside the office and need the workload to be distributed evenly.

He or she needs to change the work pattern in your office, not you. It is time that the others do some of the extra workload. If they complain that "you are being selfish," I would say it is not selfish to want time outside the office.

Then drop the subject. They have no right to ask you to do more than your fair share. My best friend was a single mother who worked 40 plus hours every week plus had her boys in Scouts, plays, baseball and more. If she could do it for over 20 years, then they can as well. -- Csinbad

12th June

Recreation

Your RECREATION activities are what charge your batteries when you take time off to do the things you really enjoy.

When did you last have fun? Have you developed a Hobby that you truly love, that allows your creative energy to flow and makes you feel happy every minute that you are engrossed in it?

How was your last Holiday? These self help suggestions will help to get the ideas flowing for more fun in your time off.

Tips For Singles On Celebrating The New Year By Toni Coleman

It's four weeks away and you don't have any plans. Many of your friends will be away or out with their significant others. You can't believe it's been a whole year and you are facing another dateless New Years Eve. What can you do?

If the above sounds familiar, it may be time for some quiet reflection that allows you to really think about what this holiday means to you and how you want to observe it. You may have more options available to you than you realize, especially if you feel stuck on that one idea of going out with a date and "celebrating". If you tap into your creativity, you can design an evening that works for you and helps you to begin the New Year on the right note.

The following is a general list of possibilities that you can add to:

* Plan an evening out with friends. You can go to dinner, a movie, a club or theatre or a combination of these.

* Plan an evening in with friends. Have a pot luck meal, rent a few movies, splurge of some great desserts and just enjoy each other's company.

* Plan an evening out alone. Go to a favorite restaurant for a quiet meal, catch a movie, go hear a band or visit your favorite pub where you may be able to connect with some people you know.

* Plan a nice evening home alone. You can either cook or order take out from your favorite restaurant, rent a favorite movie, splurge on a special dessert or all of the above. Perhaps you would rather have a light meal followed by a long soak in the tub or a few hours in your favorite cozy spot, reading a good book.

* Start a quiet celebration early on the 31st. Treat yourself to a massage, manicure, facial, work-out with a personal trainer, time in the steam room or sauna- to name a few possibilities.

Then you can follow this up with one of the above for your evening. If you end up home alone, you will have had a day of pleasant self-indulgence that will leave you rested, relaxed and ready for a good night's sleep.

If you choose a night alone on New Year's Eve you may want to have a special plan for New Year's Day. Some possibilities?

* Check with friends about parties that may be going on at the home of an acquaintance or hosted in a local restaurant or pub.

* If the weather is nice, consider doing something outdoors. Many areas of the country have ski areas within a two-hour drive that offer a whole range of outdoor activities. You can invite along a friend (s) or go solo, depending upon who is available. Hiking, biking, ice-skating or any snow related activities (depending upon the area you live in) are perfect at this time of year.

It's also a great way to begin the year's resolution of getting (staying) in shape and leading a healthier lifestyle. After an outdoor workout, hot chocolate and a meal of comfort food by a warm fire really hits the spot.

* If you are not into planning/participating in something out, consider a project at home. Many of us have unfinished organizing, paperwork and decorating tasks that we would love to get handled and off our to-do lists.

How great it would feel to tackle some of this and bask in that feeling of accomplishment afterwards.

This does not have to be a day of drudgery. Have music or a movie playing in the background. Take time out for a nice brunch, lunch or dinner. An early dinner with a friend would be a nice way to wrap up it all up.

Whatever you decide to do with this holiday, keep in mind it's significance of a new beginning. What a great time to start fresh and set those goals that will lead to the life changes you desire. Taking action will make a difference. The choice is up to you. Have a restful, pleasant and productive New Year. Happy Holidays!

Toni Coleman is a psychotherapist and relationship coach who specializes in working with singles who are trying to create healthy, lasting relationships. Her coaching also focuses on helping people to achieve happiness and a greater level of fulfillment in their present, single life.

Toni has over 20 years of experience in relationship counseling and coaching with singles and couples. She has authored articles related to meeting, dating, communicating, single life and healing from relationship loss.

Many of these can be found on over thirty relationship oriented web sites. Toni designed and teaches the Creating Lasting Relationships class, which is a tele-workshop that teaches singles to define, implement and fulfill their life and relationship goals. Her free email newsletter, The Art of Intimacy, goes out to thousands of subscribers monthly. http://www.consum-mate.com

11th June

Self Image

Your SELF IMAGE shapes the way you feel about yourself and what you expect from your life and the people around you.

You do deserve the best that life has to offer you, so why not develop a genuine expectation that life will always be abundant, supportive, fun and joyful?

***How many mornings did you get up, looking in the mirror and thinking, "Oh boy, how can I present myself to the world looking like that? How can I ever be successful if this is what I am?"

And how many mornings did you get up, looking in the mirror and thinking, "Today is the day! I can feel it in my bones, in my toes, in my fingertips. I'll sweep them of their feet!"

Do you recall what in both cases the day looked like? On mornings like the ones described first, you could actually just go back to bed and sleep the day away, because whatever it was that surrounded you, was negative and wouldn't help you to reach your goal at all. On mornings like the second, you could just not go wrong.

Your smile, your touch, your complete presentation charmed each and everyone around you!

What was the difference? No, not a new, expensive dress or suit you recently bought. And not a recent visit to the beautician. Not the new pair of shoes and not the weight you just lost.

In fact it may have been a day on which you just dressed in something you had been wearing many times before, gained some extra pounds, and had a pimple on your nose. But it was your perception that made the difference!

continue reading HA10 The Power of Perception, self help article by J Marques

10th June

What Went Wrong? When Relationships Go From Hot To Cold

self help relationships article by Toni Coleman

Everything was great. We had been dating for 6 months. We shared the same interests, felt very at ease together, had (often) discussed future plans and had even spent some of the holidays together. Our relationship seemed right on track and just right in general. Then, without warning, he said he "needs some time to think and figure things out." He stopped calling and rarely returned my calls. When he did, I was often met with silence on the other end of the line.

When I asked "what happened", I just got a verbal run around of excuses about how busy he is and/or how much stress he is under right now.

What happened? What did I do? I don't know what to think.

Does the above scenario sound at all familiar? If so, you can relate to being confused and stunned over the sudden change in a boyfriend's/girlfriend's behavior. Now think about this - What if your relationship wasn't what you thought it was? What if unspoken issues had existed all along? What if there were signs you chose to ignore or just didn't see? Are any of these possible?

Probably. This sudden change in a couple's relationship is reported quite a bit by individuals who have just broken up with a significant other. Unfortunately, it leaves the person who has been "dumped" with feelings of low self-esteem, regret, inadequacy and anger.

There is often no real closure, as the couple is never able (willing) to talk through what went wrong or was never right with their relationship.

So, how can you know what the problem was and hope to avoid a repeat of this hurtful experience? You can do this by examining your failed relationship and gaining insight and understanding about what just wasn't right between you.

In order to assist you with this; I am providing a basic framework of the relationship stages a couple must pass through TOGETHER in order to get to a place of shared intimacy and commitment.

If either person's feelings change before, during or after one of these stages; it is not necessarily the "fault" of the other individual. It is simply a statement about the individuals' rightness (or not) for each other.

It is also a reflection of each individual’s relationship readiness and ability to handle long-term, committed intimacy.

How an individual handles their changing feelings and resultant behavior toward the other is a subject for another article.

Relationships have stages. We have all read articles and books by authors who have come up with their own unique number or names for these. I will try to take a very basic approach to this and keep it simple and as universal as possible.

Attraction This is the first stage. It is physical, intellectual and emotional - on a very surface level. Girl sees boy and vice versa. They flirt, talk and get a very basic sense of the other. They are usually responding to a physical pull. He/she is cute, funny, charming, interesting to talk to, etc.

Without attraction, first dates wouldn't happen. It can therefore be assumed that the other person finds us attractive if we have gotten to a first date.

In a way, this is the easy one. We are unknowns to each other. Things progress from this point or they do not. Hurt feelings are minimal. We usually chalk up rejection to; "I'm not his type". There is no need to analyze or wonder what went wrong.

If both people feel a strong enough level of attraction continues to exist after a few dates, they usually move along to stage two. However, if one finds the other has unattractive characteristics or behaviors, this can lead to an abrupt change in the relationship.

Remember, these behaviors or characteristics would be ones that would manifest in the very early stage of dating. Some examples: frequently late, never offers to pay, dresses or grooms sloppily, rude to waitress, etc.

Romantic Relating In this second stage, couples begin to test out the idea of themselves as a unit. Dating is no longer brand new. It is more comfortable and predictable. Sharing romantic dinners and exciting special interests are typical dates during this new and fun time in a growing relationship.

During this stage, flowers are given for no special reason and loving cards are slipped back and forth with words like "thinking of you". It's a happy carefree time, when lovers tend to idealize, romanticize and overlook that which can be right in front of them. The relationship seems effortless and spontaneous.

Affection is shared openly and frequently. One's partner seems perfect. There is rarely conflict during this period. The partners often share the unrealistic belief that their relationship is so special and unique that it will always stay this way.

This stage can last from three or four months up to more than a year. It is actually the shortest stage that any long-term relationship goes through. It is also the one we wish we could hold on to forever and long for when it is gone.

This is the stage that love poems speak about. It is also believed (falsely) by many that this is what long-term committed love will always be like.

Many relationships begin to stumble at the end of this period. For that is when reality begins to set in. As partners begin to experience some disagreement, conflict and/or shared challenges- the relationship shifts as do the dynamics between the partners. Though many relationships move past this stage, a number do not. Why? There are many reasons. These can include:

* lack of readiness for the challenges of the next stage

* issues with commitment and fidelity

* immature beliefs about what relationships should be

* being stuck on an idealized, romanticized notion of love

If one of the partners is not ready for a less than perfect and more demanding stage of love, they will exhibit this in their behavior, language and overall level of openness and availability towards the other.

This is when the couple begins to think more seriously of a future with each other. The focus tends to be; how well do we get along, do we share similar interests and do I want to date this person exclusively?

Growth Through Negotiation This is a very challenging and growing time in all relationship building. Reality comes into play as the couple settles into the comfort and predictability of their togetherness. Little issues can become blown-up into large conflicts.

The individuals begin to compete for their share of control and their place in this growing union. Differences can become highlighted instead of minimized. This is often the period when couples experience their first fight. Hurt feelings can occur as that once loving and completely accepting other person airs a criticism or voices annoyance or concern. Often, the individuals believe it is the other person who needs to change.

This is where the need for (or lack of) communication, problem-solving and negotiating skills becomes apparent. For without an adequate measure of these, disagreements can break down into screaming matches where insults and recriminations are fired like missiles.

If the individuals can listen, be supportive of each other's feelings, compromise and not lay blame, they have a good chance of working through this stage and achieving a true intimacy.

This does not mean they will share all the same beliefs and opinions or that they will necessarily even like the other's view. However, having and showing respect is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship.

Not only will relationships fail without these relationship-building strengths, they can also abruptly end if one of the partners decides that they don't feel the same way about this person in their less than idealized state.

The reality may not be to their liking or just something they are not ready for in general. Either way, they will pull back, present differently or disappear without warning. How they handle their changing feelings is further information about their level of relationship readiness and maturity in general.

Intimacy Intimacy is the reward that is gained when a couple has successfully worked through the difficult last stage of negotiation. It is almost like a new coming together with much greater self (and other) awareness.

This new information can work to solidify the union or give one of both individuals enough new information about the other to require a reassessment of their desire to remain together.

Each person looks at the other in their (naked) state and asks; "is this the person I want to be with"? Here their individual differences are highlighted. The early romantic haze has cleared. What they have to offer to each other and to a future life together comes into play.

This is a time when couples often begin to contemplate each other's attributes in a more practical way. They look at the other's strengths and weaknesses. They evaluate each other's potential as a future spouse, parent, provider, caregiver, partner, etc.

Relationships can be tested more during this time. Infidelity is one dysfunctional way that some individuals do this. Often, this leads to the end of the relationship. When differences can be seen, aired and accepted, the couple has a good chance of moving on together from this place. Essentially, they have decided they want to be with the other, warts and all.

When the behavior of one or both partners change, it is generally because they have made a conscious or unconscious decision regarding the wrongness of the other for them or for the type of relationship they seek.

Commitment This is the final stage of relationship building. Once individuals have reached this place, they are ready to cement their bond. While much growth and work will lay ahead in a future life together, they are ready to begin this life soon.

New challenges arise during each stage, and will happen here as well. However, if the couple has successfully worked through the previous stages, they should have many of the tools they need.

The external problems and pressures that come with life will test their resolve and commitment over the years. They may need to reassess, re-negotiate and renew their feelings and commitment. Fortunately, they will be in possession of the basic tools required.

If they choose well to begin with, they should be successful. As you evaluate your failed relationship, note the stage you were in when the change occurred. Chances are that the necessary level of readiness and maturity was not present in one or both of you. Perhaps one of you decided that this is not the kind of partner or relationship I am seeking.

This new information and insight should help you to choose a future partner who is better suited to you and desirous of the same kind of relationship that you are. Toni Coleman is a licensed therapist and relationship coach in private practice in McLean, Virginia.

She specializes in working with singles who want to create lasting, intimate relationships. Toni has over 20 years of post-masters experience in relationship counseling and coaching with singles and couples. She is the founder and President of LifeChange Coaching and Consum-mate Relationship Coaching. She developed and teaches the Creating Lasting Relationships Training, a tele-workshop designed to help singles to define, implement and fulfill their life and relationship goals.

She has also written numerous email classes for singles on all aspects of meeting, dating and relating. She is the author of the email newsletter, The Art of Intimacy, which goes out to thousands of subscribers monthly http://www.consum-mate.com

9th June

Get Speaking by Robert F. Abbot

On a recent Sunday evening, I watched a friend ‘graduate’ from a beginner’s class for stand-up comedians.

Needless to say, I saw many levels of competence and talent as the nine students gave their 10 minute ‘commencement speeches’ before an audience of perhaps 250, mostly friends and family.

Some, obviously, would never make it to prime time. Others have a good chance, given determination and patience. But, what’s striking is that they all got up on the stage and did their acts.

I know it takes courage to stand up on a stage and deliver a conventional speech, and it must take even more to deliver a comedy monologue, especially for the first time.

If you’ve itched to take the stage, but fear holds you back, perhaps their example will give you the extra push you need to take the plunge. The good news is that you can overcome that fear. And you overcome it with two things: knowledge and practice.

Knowledge refers to the strategies, tactics, and techniques used by speakers, and involves learning about the many, diverse elements that go into a speech or presentation.

In a properly-managed learning process you work with the elements individually. In one speech you’ll focus on the way you stand, in another you’ll focus on what you’re doing with your hands, and so on.

With practice, each element becomes more natural and eventually you’ll master and incorporate them all into your speeches - without even thinking about them.

Personally, my big challenge was eye contact. With a background in radio, I had lots of experience with speaking to others, speaking to literally thousands of people at a time. But, put me in a room with a dozen people looking back and I felt that gut-wrenching chill that novice speakers know so well. After a few speeches, though, I was over it. I had enough knowledge of the mechanics of speaking to get over my fear.

That takes us to the matter of practice. The only way you’ll learn to use your newfound knowledge is through practice - standing in front of an audience and using what you’ve learned.

The elements only become natural and automatic through practice. And here’s a bonus: you also become increasingly familiar with what happens in the audience as you speak. That allows you to adjust your content or presentation on the fly, to get the results you want.

For me, the path to enjoyable public speaking - and I now love it - came through Toastmasters. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s a non-profit organization, made up of local clubs, where aspiring speakers learn from each other. I strongly recommend it. And, hey! If you go on to do a comedy act in front of a crowd one day, maybe I’ll be cheering for you.

In summary, don’t think of public speaking as one big leap; think instead of learning a series of elements one by one, and increasing your proficiency with them through practice.

Robert F. Abbott writes and publishes Abbott’s Communication Letter. Learn how you can use communication to help achieve your goals, by reading articles or subscribing to this ad-supported newsletter. An excellent resource for leaders and managers, at:http://www.communication-newsletter.com

8th June

Dating Tip -This year… Be thankful for being single… by Andrew Clacy

Dating tip -Count your blessings this year… it’s not so bad being single after all… Too many Americans hang their happiness on being in a relationship

Think about this dating tip every day & witness the miracles that can come into your life. Below is a single’s thankful list, try & live an attitude of gratitude…

•Be thankful for everyone in your life, everyone is a teacher.

•Be thankful for the lessons you have learned from past relationships & learn from them now.

•Ring a relation to tell them you love them.

•Include the un-included.

•Write a note of thanks to someone.

•Be thankful for the “little” things in life.

•Drop all criticisms & be thankful to yourself.

•Be thankful you have an opportunity to start a relationship with someone new.

•Be thankful you are not in a negative relationship. It is much better to be single than in an unhappy relationship.

•Think about all the good you have learnt about yourself since you have been single.In short, be thankful in all that you are doing. Just remember the greatest risk in life is not to take any risk at all!! .

http://www.datingmagic.net offers dating tips for men to find single women.Andrew Clacy is a freelance writer. A single Dad with 2 boys, he believes in getting out. He has studied extensively on romance & human emotions, and he is constantly researching relationships and romance. Exploring ways to add romance to electronic communication is also another pursuit he enjoys.

7th June

My other life is exciting, is yours? by Garry Munro

My other life is exciting, is yours?

Everyone dreams of a more exciting life or a life that is different to the one they are living now.

As you dream about your other life, you know the one, where you’re slimmer or fatter or the one where you meet your perfect partner and live happily ever after or you have a million dollars or you pass the exam and go to the top of the class, the dreams go on and on and we all have them.

Dreaming alone however will not give you that other life because you need to do far more than just dream, dreaming is only the first step in making things happen.

To turn your dreams into reality the next step is to write your dreams down and prioritise them, then plan what is your very next step or to put it another way, what action do you need to take right now to start making that dream a reality.

Well, what are you waiting for, you have a dream, you have written it down and you know what is the very first step you must now take, so go ahead, take that first step, you’ll feel better for just having started.

You’re now on your way to achieving your dream, take a bow, pat yourself on the back and then move on and take the next step and then the next.

Before you know it, your steps go from a slow walk to a jog and then to a full sprint to the finish line of achieving whatever it is that started out as your dream.

Sound easy, well it’s not but you must make a start, have the passion and desire for achieving your dreams, decide to work hard at making your dreams become a reality, decide to do whatever it takes and start stepping your way to success NOW!

Garry Munro is a successful consultant, speaker & coach in the area of self-development.

Based in Sydney Australia he runs his own business "Minds Alike" and works with small business owners and individuals assisting them to set & achieve their goals.

Visit his blog site at http://www.mindsalike.blogspot.com for more articles on success, business and self motivation.

6th June

Does the Fear of Rejection Control Your Life?

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Jay sought my help because he wanted to get married and have children, yet the relationship of his dreams seemed to elude him. When I first met Jay, he was an attractive, creative, brilliant and successful businessman in his middle 30’s. And he had a great sense of humor. It wasn’t that women weren’t attracted to him. He had no trouble having first dates with interesting, intelligent, and attractive women. But it never went anywhere. Jay was baffled.

When I first started to counsel Jay, he was very quiet. It felt like pulling teeth to get him to share anything with me, especially his feelings. He stayed in his head, brilliant in his ability to articulate, but flat and unemotional. He words were carefully planned out and delivered. He seemed to always be tense. It was very hard to connect with him.

“Jay, something seems to be in the way of your spontaneity. Are you aware of how carefully you pick your words?”

“Yes.”

“There must be a good reason you do this. Do you know what that is?”

“I don’t want to say the wrong thing. I don’t want to make a fool of myself.”

“And what are you afraid will happen if you say the wrong thing or make a fool of yourself?

“I will be rejected.”

“So most of the time in conversation your intention is to avoid rejection?”

“Yes. I’m terrified of rejection. I will do anything to avoid it.”

“Jay, what are you telling yourself it means if someone rejects you?”

“It means that they don’t like me because I’m inadequate and unworthy.”

“So in your mind, everyone, especially attractive women, have the power to define your adequacy and worth?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“So when you are with women, your intention is to have control over how they feel about you so they won’t reject you. Yet you seem to get rejected over and over. How do you account for that?”

“ I guess I’m just inadequate.”

“Jay, how old do you feel when you are being so careful about what you say? How old were you when you started to do this?”

“I guess when I was about 14, when I started being interested in girls. I wanted to make sure that I made a good impression.”

“What made you believe that they wouldn’t like you if you were just you?”

“Well, for one thing my older brother was always putting me down, telling me I was a dork.”

“So you learned to believe that you were not okay for who you really are – that you had to pretend to be other than you are?”

“ Yes, I think that’s correct. I always feel that I have to impress people.”

“Jay, when you then get rejected, aren’t they rejecting your created ego self rather than your real, authentic Self? Isn’t it your wounded 14 year old ego self that is inadequate, rather than your brilliant, creative, funny, successful Self? Aren’t you trying to hide your true Self because you decided, from many early experiences such as that with your brother, that you are inherently inadequate?”

“Yes, I don’t think that who I really am is good enough. So I always have to be careful about what I say.”

“Yet the few times in our sessions when you have forgotten to watch what you are saying, you are incredible – funny, insightful, interesting, and totally endearing. Your true Self is completely lovable and worthy. Yet you spend so much energy trying to hide him, squashing him down in your efforts to avoid rejection. If you were to really get to know and appreciate who you really are, you would stop worrying about rejection! You would know that you are just fine, and that if someone rejects you, it’s more about them than it is about you.”

As Jay did the inner work to reclaim his beautiful essence, his true Self, his fears of rejection gradually diminished. And, of course, when he was able to be authentic instead of controlled and controlling, everything in his life changed, including his relationships with women. After two years of satisfying dating, Jay found the woman of his dreams.Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com

5th June

Think like a Genius by Tina Konstant

1. How to solve problems like a genius.

Geniuses are just ordinary people who stumble on a knack or way of thinking that enables them to think and learn more effectively and creatively than others.

When you closely examine how “geniuses” like Newton or Archimedes thought, they didn’t simply sit under trees or in baths until their enlightenment: they used some very powerful and practical tools to create order out of their thoughts and find answers to problems that few people ever thought to solve.

In this article, we explore some of the tools the great thinkers used. They are as applicable now as they were then. These techniques will help you to:

•Clear your head when faced with a challenging problem.

•Generate more than one workable solution to your problem.

•Think creatively.

•Think productively instead of re-productively.

•Give you clear methodology that will make solving problems straight forward and stress free.

First, here are some of the common factors of the world’s great thinkers:

•The idea generation was in pictures and images rather than words. Einstein and da Vinci drew diagrams instead of writing words and sentences.

•Their thinking was unrestrained; nothing was consigned to the bin until it had been fully investigated.

•They treated thoughts as things.

•Ideas were explored using association.

•They looked at ideas from different perspectives.

•They were prolific and recorded everything.

•They fuelled their imaginations with knowledge.

•Their thinking was focused.

•They were passionate and determined about discovery.

•They made mistakes but instead of seeing them as failures, saw them instead as “ways of how not to do it”.

•They saw potential in everything.

•They saw mistakes and unexpected surprise results as valuable opportunities to learn from.

•They never gave up.

Consider this definition of "problem": a problem is an external event perceived as a mental, physical, emotional or intellectual threat to the individual/s concerned. Chances are, your problem only became “a problem” when you became personally involved causing your perception of an event to shift; before that, it was just an event, when you perceived that you were potentially threatened by it, the event became a problem.

Everything (including problems) starts in your head. Using your imagination and thinking processes constructively while you solve problems gives your mind the “stuff” it needs to be productive (create new solutions) as distinct from re-productive (create more of the old which is what probably landed you with the problem in the first place).

One of the most reliable ways of solving a problem is the “systems” strategy.

This method does not allow you to add complications that do not exist and it ensures the facts are gathered without the hindrance of destructive emotion (the first indication that an event is turning into a problem).

Seeing the entire system (i.e. the problem and everything associated with it) enhances insight into a problem and allows you to deal with the real issue. Most often, when solutions don’t work it’s because they are the solution to a perceived problem, not the real one.

Genius is simply a way of thinking.

For more information on Genius Thinking visit http://www.tinakonstant.com

2. Take ActionApplying System Thinking to finding the real problem

•Write down what you perceive the problem to be. (e.g., general performance is poor)

•Look at all the symptoms that lead you to that conclusion (e.g. late arrival, low motivation, agitated behaviour between colleagues, missing deadlines)

•Take each symptom and write down all the possible causes for each one (NOTE: be as unbiased as possible (e.g. possible causes for missing deadlines – working late hours, unclear job descriptions, unclear management decisions, unreasonable timescales, etc.)

•Take each of the possible causes and determine if they apply to the situation (e.g. Do people work late hours? Are timescales unreasonable? Is communication between staff and management clear?). Sometimes it is worth using some form of external mediation at this point to ensure an unbiased outcome.

•Once you have determined some definite causes, work on those solutions instead of the general issue of “poor performance”.

One of the reasons why this technique works is because instead of gathering your team and accusing them of poor performance, thus setting the scene for blame or denial, you are in fact asking questions that give people the opportunity to examine their performance without feeling threatened or singled out. By asking questions you might find that “poor performance” is caused by the fact that people feel obliged to work late each night and are exhausted. This problem is comparatively easy to solve because, unlike “general poor performance” it is clearly definable.

It’s important to carry out this exercise with all the people involved. It’s also important to make it a safe and open forum so that people feel free to contribute without thinking that one wrong answer with generate a P45.

Active Daydreaming. One main difference between the way Einstein thought and the way most other people think is that his method was more disciplined. Take a moment to consider what you think about in a typical day. What are the chances of you generating your theory of relativity based on what presently occupies your mind? Give yourself a mark from 1 to 10 (1 being – no chance: 10 being – I would have but Einstein just happened to get there first!)

Using your imagination and thinking processes constructively while you solve problems gives your mind the “stuff” it needs to be productive (create new ideas) as distinct from re-productive (create more of the old).

Using Active Daydreaming.Do this exercise with a colleague or use a tape recorder.

•First, write down in a single sentence the problem you are working on.

•Set a timer for as much time as you can afford

•Sit back, close your eyes, breathe deeply and relax.

•State your problem and desired outcome out loud, and then describe all the images and thoughts that come into your head. Just start to talk. It doesn’t matter what the images or thoughts are; don’t disregard anything. It is important to speak out loud for two reasons, one, you wont miss anything, two, you are more likely to stay awake and focused!

•Carry on at least until the clock goes off or when you have come across an answer or idea that you sense might warrant further investigation.

•Take a short break then listen to the tape or study the notes your colleague made.

•Then, organise your thoughts.

•If you worked with a colleague swap over. Once you have both carried out the exercise, compare notes.

Have fun with your brain :-)Tina Konstant is an author and professional speaker on subjects including speed-reading and learning. Previous publications include "Teach Yourself Speed-reading" and "Successful Speed-reading in a week", both published by Hodder and Stoughton, "Mental Space", published by Pearson and "The Ultimate Speed-reading E-Book" published on http://www.TinaKonstant.com

4th June

Does Lack of Confidence Stop You? by Jo Ball

Ever had the sense that there is more to life than you’re experiencing?

Ever felt that there’s more out there for you to do, but never been quite sure of what that is? Or maybe you know what you need to do, but have been putting it off because you lacked the confidence to take the chance.

One of the biggest things in our way of exploring this path is our necessity to pay our bills. This usually means staying in a job or career that no longer fulfils us for a little while… usually forty years!

Another block to changing life might be your upbringing – maybe a parent who tells you that you need to stick with what you know – or a spouse who’d prefer you to stay the way you are and not follow your dreams, or friends who think that anything other than what you’ve been doing for the last few years is odd.

It can be quite scary to reach out for your truth. By your truth I mean your life purpose. What’s more, those around you might find it quite scary too – that’s why they try to put you off doing it. I mean can you imagine their faces if you suddenly became crystal clear, not only that you were going to change your life, but also knew how.

Imagine how powerful it would sound to them. Imagine the example you would make when you succeed. Imagine their faces then!

Living your Life Purpose is more than a career, but since you spend so much time earning money it is a key element.

The biggest hint I can give you to finding Life Purpose through work is to search for something you feel a deep pull and an undoubted passion towards. When you find that, many things will happen…

You’re health will improve. You’ll work longer, faster and harder than ever and love it. You’ll smile and laugh more and become a people magnet as you become more interesting and fun to be around.

Your confidence will literally rocket.

Begin by finding your unique gift and then explore how you can use that in a distinctive way to help others improve their lives.

Best Wishes

Jo BallCoach & Founder of Unstoppable LifeBuild your confidence through your life purpose with top UK coach Join Jo Ball at www.unstoppablelife.com Start to rediscover and understand the real you and step into your full power. It’s simple to do. Jo’s newsletter is full of tips stories and tricks on living Life Purpose. It’s FR>EE to sign-up and she’ll send you an e-book, Simple Steps to Greater Happiness as a thank you for joining and give a FREE Life Purpose Report.

3rd June

We now have OVER 80 free self help books available for you to download and enjoy on our “Self Help Books and Personal Development resources” web site, in self help subjects of Happiness through Personal development, Health through Nutrition, Diet & Exercise, Prosperity through Budgeting, finance management & home business income and Prosperity through Internet Business and writing e-books.

Get your free self help books at our sister site: www.personal-enterprise-self-help-resources.com self help books download page

Excuses for Not Going to Work

• I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking myprevious boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. Ok?

• Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

• I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, Ishouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may nowcontain false information.

• The psychiatrist said we had an excellent session. He even gaveme this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.

• When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to myProzac. Now I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.

• I'd prefer to remain an enigma.

• I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.

• I refuse to travel to my job in the district until there is acommuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.

All the best in Happiness, Health and Prosperity - Helene Malmsio

2nd June

"Ten Top Tips To Tip The Scales Your Way"© 2002 by Moss Greene

1.CREATE YOUR OWN VIRTUAL REALITY. Do you think of yourselfas fit or fat? If your answer is fat, anything you try to doto change that will be a futile struggle. Learn to imagineyourself as slender, fit and energetic. When the "fit" visiondominates your thoughts, you will easily start to become whatyou imagine.

2. EAT NUTRITIOUS WHOLE FOODS. Permanently changing the wayyou eat to a healthy diet of low fat protein, fresh fruits andvegetables and 100% whole grains is the best way to reach andmaintain your optimum weight. Add natural whole food nutritionalsupplements and you're on your way to slender, buoyant, vibrantgood health.

3. ELIMINATE MOST SIMPLE CARBOHYDRATES. Processed grains,sugar and other foods that cause a high glycemic response arethe biggest saboteurs of your weight management plans. Theresulting insulin release causes you to store fat and cravesugars.

4. DRINK PLENTY OF PURE LIQUIDS. Clean water is the perfectdrink. Eight glasses a day is a good basic guideline and helpsyou to feel full. If you want something sweet to drink, you canalways add several drops of liquid stevia (a sweet tasting non-caloric herbal extract) to either herb tea or lemon water.

5. MOVE YOUR BODY. BUILD MUSCLE. Exercise and a good lean muscleto fat ratio helps to keep your metabolism working optimally. Italso benefits your bones, heart and your whole body. So move itas much as possible. Walk, garden, ride your bike, climb stairsor pump some iron. Exercise, or just be active in any way you canthat makes you feel good.

6. INCREASE HIGH FIBER FOODS. Besides being good for yourintestines, your heart and for protecting you from certain kindsof cancers, fiber also makes you feel full and satisfied. If youneed more than you're getting in your diet, try adding a dailyfiber drink of unsweetened psyllium and mixed nutritional fibers.

7. CUT OUT BAD FATS, ADD GOOD ONES. High levels of saturatedfats, processed vegetable oils and trans-fatty acids, are badfor your health. Plus, they add empty calories to your diet.Stick with small amounts of organic butter for cooking, virginolive oil for salads and eat more fish and whole grains for thegood quality omega-3 and omega-6 oils.

8. ENJOY DOING IT YOUR WAY. Studies show that most of the peoplewho are successful with weight management adjust whatever planthey are using to suit themselves. If your program says have 5meals a day, but 4 suits you better, then do what works for youand what makes you happy.

9. HAVE A SIMPLE ORGANIZED PLAN. When you find out what worksfor you, work your plan. Find recipes you like. Have healthyfoods available at all times. When you go to a restauranttake your favorite salad dressing and fruit along for dessert.Stay on top of your program.

10. FORGIVE YOURSELF AND MOVE ON. Guilt, self-pity and irritationhave no useful value. When you stray from your plan, don't wasteany time feeling bad. Talk yourself into feeling positive aboutyour action instead of negative. Then get right back on purpose.Remember, you deserve to be fit, trim and healthy.

-----------------------------------------------------------------Moss Greene is the Nutrition Host at Bellaonline.com. Visit herweb site at http://www.bellaonline.com/site/nutrition to findout how to look better, feel your best and have more energy -naturally.

1ST June

Learn How to Relax.

The following exercise will introduce you to deep relaxation. It will help create a refreshed and peaceful feeling for the body and mind. Try to do this especially upon arising and before retiring.

1. Lie flat of your back, placing the feet about 18 inches apart. The hands should rest slightly away from the trunk, with the palms up.

2. Close your eyes and gently move all the parts of the body to give a general feeling of relaxation.

3. Start relaxing the body by part. First think of the right leg. Inhale and raise the leg about one foot off the floor. Hold it fully tensed. After five seconds, exhale quickly and relax the muscles of the right leg, allowing it to fall to the floor on its own. Shake the leg gently from right to left, relax it fully and forget about the existence of this leg.

4. Repeat this process with the left leg, and then with both hands one at a time.

5. Then bring the mind to the muscles of the pelvis, buttocks and anus. Tense them and relax. Once again, tense them and relax. Next, think of the abdomen. Inhale deeply through the nose and bloat the abdomen. Hold your breath for five seconds and suddenly let the air burst out through the mouth, at the same time relaxing all the muscles of the abdomen and diaphragm.

6. Move on to the chest region. Inhale deeply through the nose, bloating the chest. Hold your breath for five seconds and suddenly let the air out through the mouth while relaxing all the muscle of the chest and diaphragm.

7. Move on to the shoulders. Without moving the forearm off the flow, try to make the shoulders meet in front of the body. Then relax and let them drop to the floor.

8. Slowly, gently, turn the neck right and left, right and left then back to center, mentally relaxing the neck muscles.

9. Now coming to facial muscles, move the jaw up and down, left and right, a few times then relax. Squeeze the lips together in a pout, then relax. Such in the cheek muscles, then relax. Tense the tip of the nose, then relax. Wrinkle the forehead muscles, then relax.

10. Now you have relaxed all the muscles of the body. To make sure of this, allow your mind to wander over your entire body, from the tips of the toes to the head, searching for any spots of tension. If you come across any, concentrate upon this part and it will relax. If you do this mentally, without moving any muscle, you will notice that the part concerned obeys your command.

This is complete relaxation. Even your mind is at rest now. Observe your thoughts without trying to take your mind anywhere. Remain in this condition at least five minutes. When you decide to wake from this conscious sleep, do so quite slowly. Imagine that fresh energy is gently entering each part of your body from the head down to the toes. Then slowly sit up. This exercise helps create a refreshed and peaceful feeling for the body and mind.

31st May

A fellow worker came up to the Blonde working at Reception and said: “Would you like to buy a raffle ticket? Janice in Production died suddenly last week. It’s for her husband and four children.”
“No thanks,” the blonde says. “I’ve already got a husband and two kids of my own.”

Did you hear about the figure conscious blonde who had square breasts? She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

Two blondes are walking down the street when they find a makeup mirror.The first blonde looks in the mirror and says ”That face is familiar. But I can’t put a name to it” The second blonde grabs the mirror, looks into it, then looks at her friend as says “DUH, silly, It’s ME”

A man goes to his doctor for a complete check-up. He hasn’t been feeling well and wants to find out if he’s ill.
After examination the doctor comes out with the results: “I’m afraid I have some bad news. You’re dying and you don’t have much time”
“Oh no, that’s terrible. How long have I got?” the man asks.
“Ten…” say the doctor.
“Ten? Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?” he asks desperately.
“Ten, Nine, eight, seven…….”

There are a lot of dumb people out there. Here’s some ways of saying it without giving offence:
The wheels spinning, but the hamsters dead.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash.
Her sewing machine is out of thread
A few beers short of a six-pack
A sandwich short of a picnic
He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
The lights are on, but nobody’s home
A few bricks shy of a full load
Will spend all his life pushing doors marked “pull”
Not the brightest crayon in the box
If she had an ounce of brains she would fall over top-heavy
If stupidity was music, he would be a brass band.
If you gave her a penny for intelligence, you would get change back
She would trip over a cordless phone
If she spoke her mind, she’d probably be speechless

The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes. After trying his keys on five other cars, he finally sat in his car and turned the lights on, then off, wipers on, then off. Finally, when he was the last car in the car park, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away. The Patrolman who was waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled him over. He administered the breathalyzer test and was shocked when the man tested at 0.00.
The patrolman was dumbfounded. “This equipment must be broken!” he exclaimed.
“I doubt it,” said the driver, “Tonight I am the Designated Decoy.”

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically the blonde responds, “Shut up….you’re next!”

30th May

Taking the Strain Off Your Back
self help article
by Dr. Jeremy Sims

One of the most common indications of stress is lower back pain.

This is particularly so if we are hunched over an office desk for great periods of time.

Learn to notice when your back is feeling the strain and give it a little TLC.

1. Find somewhere quiet and lie down with your arms at your sides, knees bent and soles of your feet in contact with the floor.

2. Tense your stomach muscles, drawing your stomach in and flattening your back against the floor. Slow and regulate your breathing.

3. Now relax your stomach.

4. Carry out two further repetitions of the above.

5. Lying flat on your back, extend your right leg so that it is flat to the floor and keep the left leg bent at the knee.

Keep the palms of your hands flat to the floor and bring your left knee (still bent) across your right leg, attempting to touch the floor with it.

6. Now relax.

7. Repeat step 5 two more times and then three further repetitions with the other knee.

Never force the above twisting motion - gradually does it.

Remember, if lower back pain is persistent seek medical advice as soon as possible.

copyright HealthChat 2000

Dr. Sims is the Medical Director of FitStop, the UK's foremost group of health and fitness centers, and an expert on matters relating to fitness of body and mind.

Having trained as a GP, he now works full-time in health promotion and has written extensively on the subject, including a monthly medical column in Mensa magazine with the TV psychiatrist, Dr Raj Persaud. Dr. Sims was the original Virgin.Net online doctor.

Article courtesy of MediaPeak, http://mediapeak.com

29th May

Add Some Fun to Your To Do List
self help article
by Maria Gracia

Take a look at your To Do list.

If you had to categorize each task or project into work or fun, which way would the scale tip?

For most people, To Do lists contain work affiliated activities -- whether they are business related or household chore related.

When you're making your To Do list, don't only include those items that you HAVE to do.

Rather, scatter some things that you WANT to do.

Maybe you'd like to write a letter to someone you haven't been in contact with.

Put it on your To Do List.

Possibly, you've been meaning to get to that new store or restaurant.

Again, write it on your To Do List.

A mental note is not enough.

When you write it down, you're certain that it won't be forgotten, it's more concrete and there's an excellent chance that you'll actually do it.

Once you have these things that you want to do on your To Do List, you can then schedule a specific date and time and finally start doing the things you enjoy!

by Maria Gracia - Get Organized Now! http://www.getorganizednow.comFREE Idea-Pak and E-zine filled with tips, ideas, articles and more to help you organize your home, your office and your life at the Get Organized Now! Web site!

28th May

Creating Your Own (career) Luck
self help article
by Nan S. Russell

Losing my job in the last recession of the last century, I discovered first hand the power of creating your own luck.

A week later, I decided to locate an interim position while I looked for a "real" one.

Accepting a temporary position at minimum wage in an industry I knew little about, I decided the way to enjoy the position was to learn everything I could and contribution all that I could.

I poured over manuals in my down time, developed processes to expedite the work, trained new employees, volunteered for additional assignments, and did anything that needed to be done.

Four weeks into a ten week job, I was unexpectedly offered my first management position.

If I had listened to my friends cautioning me that taking a minimum wage position was career suicide, if I had been concerned about accepting a job "beneath" my education or experience level, or if I had only done what was expected, I would have missed an opportunity that led to five promotions in the next seven years.

It has been my experience over the years, while climbing the corporate ladder to Vice President of a multi-billion dollar company, that opportunity is everywhere and anywhere.

Often, it's in unexpected places for those who differentiate themselves in the workplace. People who do what is expected of them, do it very well, "and then some" have opportunities arise that others never do.

And people who set their ego aside, contributing everything they can to the task at hand, often create their own luck. That's because initiative is a powerful commodity in the workplace.

People offering to do extra work only if they get paid for it, or take on extra responsibility only if their salary is increased first, have it backwards in my book.

My advice: do the work, do it well, and then do it even better.

Higher pay, greater responsibilities and increased opportunities follow individuals who are contributors.

Anytime I looked to hire people, offer permanent positions to temporary employees or interns, start up new departments or businesses, or promote individuals, I looked for people doing their job well ... "and then some."

© 2004 Nan S. Russell. All rights reserved

Nan Russell has spent over twenty years in management, most recently with QVC as a Vice President. Currently working on her first book, Nan is a writer, columnist, small business owner, and instructor. Sign up to receive Nan's free eColumn,, Winning at Working, at www.winningatworking.com.

27th May

The Important Things Life Teaches You
- self help inspirations

- Six Great Lessons collected for your inspiration (Number 5 still breaks my heart every time I read it…)

1. Most Important Question

During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.

Before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello'." I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2. Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 PM, an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.

A young white man stopped to help her generally unheard of in those conflict filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxi cab. She seemed to be in a big hurry! She wrote down his address, thanked him and drove away.

Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached.

It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes but my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole

3. Always Remember Those Who Serve

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" "Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it. "How much is a dish of plain ice cream?" he inquired.

Some people were now waiting for a table and the waitress was a bit impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she said brusquely. The little boy again counted the coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away.

The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and departed. When the waitress came back, she began wiping down the table and then swallowed hard at what she saw. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies - her tip.

(For non U.S. readers, I think this means he could have afforded the full “deluxe” Icecream sundae but with no change for a Tip, so he chose the plain ice cream instead so that he had money to leave as a Tip for the waitress)

4. The Obstacle in Our Path

In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it.

Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the big stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. On approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded.

As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.

The peasant learned what many others never understand. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one's condition.

5. Giving Blood

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at Stanford Hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease.

Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.

The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save Liz."

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?"

Being young, the boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood.

6. I've Had Two Choices

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood." I choose to be in a good mood.

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes it is," Jerry said.

"Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business, he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gun point by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination.

The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he said, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live.

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine.

But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, 'He's a dead man. " I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything.

'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!'

Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead." Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.

I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

26th May

How to Succeed at Anything,
self help article
by Bill Harris

For many years I've been noticing how stuck many people feel about their inability to manifest the results they want in their life.

Sometimes it is basic security, money, things that eludes us. Sometimes it's a loving relationship. Sometimes it is the development of a skill.

Or, it could be the healing of past trauma. Very often, we feel discouraged about our inability to manifest these things in our life, even to the point of negating whole idea of wanting or achieving things.

Sometimes people get so discouraged they decide it's wrong, not spiritual, not "good," to want things, to achieve, or to create big things in their life.

I've decided to do something about it.

I have to admit one of the big thrills of my life is manifesting whatever it is I want to create in the world.

At first this was mostly around what I wanted for myself, but as I've become more successful it has swung around more and more to being about what I can do for others.

I have a burning desire to help others experience the incomparable thrill of creating something in the world and seeing it work. Until you have done this (in my opinion) you are only half alive. Some call it self-actualization.

I remember my grandfather (a very brilliant self-made man) telling me that nothing could match the feeling of making your own money, creating your own success, and that being given money or things did not bring the satisfaction of creating them for yourself.

I thought he was nuts, of course. "Just give it to me," I thought. "I don't care how I get it. I just want it."

I now know he was right. Part of what he was saying was that the having is great, but the real thrill is in the creating.

It's nice to have money and things, but (as they say) things don't create happiness (though they do make unhappiness easier to bear).

Ultimately, the knowledge that you have to power to manifest whatever you need brings not only satisfaction, but a solid sense of security.

The truth is, most people have never been taught how to achieve what they want. It isn't taught in schools, and few parents teach it to their children (probably because few know how to do it themselves).

There are many wonderful books about it (I highly recommend Think and Growth Rich by Napoleon Hill, which I have read about 40 times over the years), but to really learn how to manifest what you want in the world it helps to have some coaching and feedback from someone who has done it and knows the rules.

Hill studied achievers (the top people in the world in his day) for over 20 years before publishing his first work on the subject, a 12-volume set called The Law of Success based on extensive interviews with and study of 620 of the world's most successful people.

One thing Hill discovered (this always fascinated me) was that a measly 2% of people really knew where they wanted to go and then did what it took to get there. 98% let circumstances dictate how and where their life went!

How, then, can you be part of the 2%? I've decided to teach you how to do it -- if you want to -- and how to experience the absolute thrill of being a creator of whatever it is you want to create. This is your chance to do good for yourself, and then to spread it around to others.

I've been working on this idea for at least eight years. Here's how it started:In 1992 I started a class in my home for people who wanted to become more successful. It continued for several years.

Each class contained about 15 people, and met one evening a week for about 6 months, for about 2 1/2 hours at a time. One by one, I took each person through a checklist of items a person needs to handle in order to be able to create whatever it is they want to create in the world or in themselves.

If you handle these items in your life, you will succeed at whatever you do.

These checklist items can be summed up, however, in one sentence, one rule:

"If you think like a successful person, and act like a successful person, you will be a successful person."

This rule applies to anything, whether to creating a company, making money, becoming a better parent, having a good relationship, being a more spiritual person, learning a skill, being happier, mastering a sport, overcoming an adversity -- anything.

I'll bet by now you're dying to know what the checklist is, aren't you? Well, I'm not going to make you wait any longer (though it takes much instruction to understand an implement everything in the checklist).

Here is my checklist of the things you need to handle in order to succeed at anything:

You need to know exactly what you want.

You must create a clear, succinct, specific goal statement.

Your mind cannot help you create something unless it knows exactly what it's supposed to create.

You need to determine what the price is that must be paid to achieve what it is you want (there is always a price), and be willing to pay it in full.

You must create a plan of action and immediately begin working the plan, improving it as more information becomes available.

You must determine what a person who would, could, or has achieved what you want to achieve believes about achieving that goal, and also what you believe about achieving that goal.

You must rid yourself of the beliefs you have that are holding you back and adopt the beliefs of the person who is successful. In other words, you must develop the resourceful beliefs necessary to achieve your goal.

You must develop the values that support achievement of your goal, and rid yourself of values that either do not support it, or are in conflict either with the goal itself or with other values that do support it (for example, you might value both risk-taking and security, and this conflict must be resolved or it will create problems).

You must create resourceful internal information sorting processes (this one is too big to explain here, but it is a biggie).

These are largely unconscious processes, and have to do with how you decide what incoming information to delete, what information you decide to focus on, in what ways you might distort incoming information, and how you create internal generalizations about that information.

There are resourceful ways to do this and unresourceful ways to do this. Having unresourceful methods in this department is one way people sabotage themselves without knowing how or why.

You must know how to deal with adversity, "failure," and setbacks so as to turn them into opportunities. There will be no straight shot to success, and you have to know how to deal with the challenges that come up and make them into ways to move forward again.

Every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit, and you have to know how to find it.

You must develop the personality traits that support success in whatever it is you want to do, and eliminate the personality traits that do not support it.

You must learn how to control your state of mind, so as to create motivation, faith, self-discipline, ability to focus, certainty, persistence, and other resourceful states, and to avoid or shift out of fear and discouragement and other unresourceful states.

You must gather around you the resources, both material and human, that will help you achieve what you want.

The creation of the human part of this is sometimes spoken of as creating a mastermind group.

That's it. If you handle all of this, you will succeed at anything.

Be well, William Harris, Director, Centerpointe.com Research Institute

Personal development self help blog:

25th May

How To Stop Worrying About
What Other People Think Of You
self help article
by Peter Murphy

Do you ever find you know what to say but still you can´t get the words out?

Or maybe you sometimes find yourself waiting for the perfect moment before joining the conversation.

What is stopping you?

Most of the time you stop yourself from participating by getting overly concerned about what other people think of you.

In other words you want them to like you and to approve of what you say. You crave approval.

Here are three great ways to win approval:

1. Know what you are talking about

Thoroughly research your topic so that you can discuss any aspect of it with the people you are meeting.

When you know the subject matter inside out you will quite rightly have much more confidence in yourself.

As a result you will speak with confidence and authority and people will respond to you with respect.

The lack of adequate preparation is a big reason for not feeling comfortable enough to contribute to a conversation.

If you already know you could look foolish it makes sense not to say anything at all. Turn this around by becoming an expert on your topic.

The same applies to small talk - stay informed by reading the news and keeping up to date with what is happening locally and nationally. You´ll soon have more than enough material to start and keep a conversation going.

2. Don´t expect to get approval

The irony of wanting approval is that the more you want it the less likely you are to get it. And on the other hand when you don’t care about being approved of - you are more likely to get it.

Make a game of it.

When you talk to people act as if you don´t want or need their approval.

Pretend there is no way to win their approval so there is no point in even trying to get it.

When you think in this way there is no point in worrying about being liked so all you can do is put your attention back on the conversation itself.

Your conversation skills will improve because your completeattention is back on the conversation and ironically people will approve of you more.

3. Understand how people decide if they will like you

People do not objectively assess you and what you say before deciding if they like and approve of you.

We all make emotionally charged decisions about who to like and why.

You might be liked for any number of reasons...

You might remind someone of an old friend, you might share a similar life philosophy or you might have the same fashion sense.

You could be disliked for a number of reasons...

Maybe you hold polar opposite views on politics, you don´t like dogs and the other person does or perhaps he dislikes people who are taller than he is.

Do you see the absurdity in all of this?

We are all irrational creatures. And we like or dislike each other for all sorts of silly reasons.

There is one principle worth remembering though...

People tend to approve of people like themselves.

In practical terms, this means you can and should look for commonality when you meet people.

Listen out for things you have in common and ask questions that will reveal commonality. And then point out how the two of you are similar...

- I am from the south side of the city too

- I like action movies as well

- Same here, I can never stick with a diet plan

- You´re not the only one who hates cabbage

The more you look for commonality the more you will find it.

Find things in common and point them out to the other person and he or she will warm to you.

Why?

Because we tend to like and trust people who are like us.

Now would be a very good time to review the special report that comes with my book - Conversation Fear and the Three Ways to Kill it.

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

24th May

Take Time to Save Time , self help article by Jeanie Marshall

“You are today where your thoughts have brought you;

You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” - James Allen

Frequently, we say, “I don’t have time to…..” Often this is just an excuse to justify doing something else or not doing anything at all.

Taking time to act on some of the ideas on this list can transform our lives. Successful individuals already perform most of these.

The following is an updated version of an aricle I wrote about fifteen years before I published it in the Marshall House Journal. You may want to read these items with the intention of identifying just one that is the most important for you at this time.

1. TAKE TIME TO PLAN. One minute of planning saves three minutes of work or re-planning

2. TAKE TIME TO ORGANIZE. Your work needs a structure that reduces unnecessary, repetitive decisions.

3. TAKE TIME TO SET GOALS. A goal that is identified and acknowledged can be achieved. When written, goals become more real.

4. TAKE TIME TO SCHEDULE. A deadline that is not set might not be met. Set several intermediate deadlines to meet a major deadline.

5. TAKE TIME TO DECIDE PRIORITIES. Knowledge of the relative importance of all activities reduces re-inventing a new system at the beginning of each task. Focus your attention on the important issues.

6. TAKE TIME TO ANALYZE THE SITUATION. Although it is not possible to have all the facts all the time, it is important to review the essential ones.

7. TAKE TIME TO REFLECT. Reflection can take many forms and can be inserted throughout the day for maximum effect. More than reviewing, reflection allows you to sort the essential items from those that are less important.

8. TAKE TIME TO INVOLVE OTHERS. Involve in the decision-making process those who will carry out the decision to yield dividends in individual commitment. And, these are the persons who have relevant ideas!

9. TAKE TIME TO DIVIDE THE JOB. Many small tasks reach the goal in less time than a few larger tasks. Additionally, it is more satisfying to achieve several objective in route to your higher goals.

10. TAKE TIME TO DELEGATE. Distribute tasks to enhance others experience and increase leverage. Be certain that the delegated responsibilities are meaningful and stimulating, not just the tasks you do not want to do.

11. TAKE TIME TO EXPLAIN CLEARLY. A few well chosen words that clearly direct others avoid duplicate effort and disappointment.

12. TAKE TIME TO REVIEW YOUR WORK. Check your work as soon as you finish it. For more thorough review and correction, let it rest a while and review it again.

13. TAKE TIME TO RELAX. Just a few moments can replenish you. When you are relaxed and refreshed, you are more efficient.

14. TAKE TIME TO MEDITATE. The journey within is increasingly more important when your life is hectic. Twenty minutes in true meditation each day enhances brain function, breathing, sleep, relaxation, response to stress, and general well-being.

15. TAKE TIME TO DO IT NOW! Procrastination is a thief of time and confidence. DO THE JOB NOW.

Carol Halsey is Founder of Business Organizing Solutions. She is a professional organizer, consultant, speaker and author. You can get articles, ideas and a free time saving Idea Kit, simply by visiting her web site: http://www.PilesToFiles.com

Also, her special report, “How To Make Those Piles of Papers and Magazines Disappear.” At http://www.PilesToFiles.com/specialreports.html

23rd May

Simple Tips to Remove Stress in Your Workday, self help article by Carol Halsey

Volumes of articles, books and manuals have been written on time management and organization in the workplace.

We read all with good intentions, but seldom follow through with any real commitment. And yet we feel overwhelmed and stressed at work.

A little organization will relieve that stress in your work day. It will result in having more confidence in your self when dealing with customers, competitors and supervisors.

Let’s touch on a few easy ways to begin the process.

1. A messy, cluttered office can result in incomplete work, missed deadlines and lost information.

Your desk is not a storage locker, it’s a work surface. It is time to remove those piles of paper occupying your desktop, floor and shelves.

The worst decision you can make is not making a decision about those piles, because no paperwork decision = greater paper buildup.

All documents need to have a home, just as your silverware, pots and pans and dishes have their specific homes in your kitchen.

There really aren’t very many choices for processing paper. Tossing into the circular file is a very good option for some.

Others can go to files for future reference, or you follow up system for papers you need at some later time, plus an ongoing project system, or passing some onto staff if you can.

2. Remember, the time spent searching through your office for a piece of paper, phone number or customer’s address is unproductive time and only increases stress.

Allowing a few minutes each day to process paperwork pays off in time saved. As your business and responsibilities grow, so does the amount of paper.

Don’t let it pile up, as this is when opportunities are lost and stress and chaos set in.

3. Control how others affect your productivity. Where is it written that every time the phone rights you MUST answer it?

If the constant intrusions cut your productivity, decide when you will answer it and when you will let others (staff, voice mail or a message recorder) answer the phone for you.

Occasionally you will need quiet time to work on a project or report, to prepare a speech or presentation, or work up an estimate.

That’s one time to let the phone be answered for you.

4. If your business is home based, establish clear rules for how and when, if ever, you may be distracted by family members.

Let them know a closed door always means “do not disturb,” or “knock first.” This may be hard to enforce at times.

Explain that by working uninterrupted, tasks are accomplished expeditiously, and in the long run you will have more time to spend with family.

In a business office with several people working in a restricted area, the tendency is to chitchat and gossip during the day.

This is a great waste of productive time. By tactfully removing yourself and discouraging socializing, you have gained the time back.

Being organized required commitment – your commitment – to try something new and to break old bad habits.

The methods and techniques I offer are simple, easy to learn, and I guarantee that they will work and your job will be a whole lot easier.

You will also notice that you are less stressed.

Carol Halsey is Founder of Business Organizing Solutions. She is a professional organizer, consultant, speaker and author. You can get articles, ideas and a free time saving Idea Kit, simply by visiting her web site: http://www.PilesToFiles.com

Also, her special report, “How To Make Those Piles of Papers and Magazines Disappear.” At http://www.PilesToFiles.com/specialreports.html

22nd May

Some jokes to try on for size

“Hey Mum! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff?”

“Shut up son, you’ll wake your father”

Q- when does a woman enjoy a man’s company?
A – when she owns it.

Q- what did God say after creating Eve?
A – Practice makes perfect

Q- How are men and parking spots alike?
A – All the good ones are always taken.

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.“How wonderful! But I hope you don’t mind me asking what happened to your first husband?”“He ate poisonous mushrooms and died.”
“Oh, how tragic! what about your second husband?”
“He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died”
“Oh how terrible! I’m almost afraid to ask you about your third husband.”
“He died of a broken neck”
“A broken neck?”
“He wouldn’t eat the mushrooms……”

The man gets out of his car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him “Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?”
The farmer replies “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”
“How?” asks the man, puzzled.
“Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field.”

“I can’t find the cause of your illness,” said the doctor, “But, I think it may be due to drinking,” “In that case, replied the Blonde, “I shall come back when you are sober.”

Woman in crowd at a political rally where Sir Winston Churchill is speaking “You mongrel Churchill, if you were my husband I’d put rat poison in your tea.”
Churchill replies “And if you were my wife, Ma’am, I’d drink it!”

Three blondes are stuck on a deserted island, when one of them finds a lamp on the beach. She picks it up and gives it a little rub and a Genie pops out. The Genie looks at the three Blondes and says “I normally give three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish” Well the first one is tired of being on the island, so she wishes to go back home. POOF! She disappears. The second one said she too is tired of the island, and wishes to go home. POOF! She also disappears. The genie then turns to the last Blonde and asks her what her wish is. “Gee,” she says, “I’m awfully lonely here by myself. I wish my friends were still here”

I rang up my local swimming baths. I said “Is that the local swimming baths?”
The man said, “It depends on where you’re calling from.”

An old woman cane into her doctor’s office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. “I have Flatulence all the time, doctor” she said. “But they’re Soundless, and they have no Odor. In fact, since I’ve been here, I’ve passed wind no less than twenty times. What can I do?”
“Here’s a prescription, Mrs. Smith. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week.”
Next week an upset Mrs. Smith marched into the Doctors office. “Doctor, I don’t know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I’m passing wind just as often, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?”
“Calm down, Mrs. Smith” said the doctor soothingly. “Now that we’ve fixed your Sinuses, we’ll work on your Hearing!!”

“Is it true” the woman asked her doctor, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so”, the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, “I’m wondering then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked “NO REFILLS.”

A Blonde with two very red ears went to her doctor, who asked her what happened.“I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang” she said” but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck in to my ear”
“So what happened to your other ear?” asked the doctor.
“The person rang back again….”

You know its going to be a bad day if:
You put your bra on backwards, and it fits better
Your car horn goes off accidentally, and remains stuck while you’re following a group of Hell’s Angels.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles
You see a ’60 minutes’ team waiting in your office
The boss tells you not to bother taking off your coat
The bird singing outside your window is a vulture
Your blind date turns out to be your wife
Your twin forgot your birthday
Your Income Tax cheque bounces.

Office Prayer:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they annoyed me. Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the butt I have to kiss tomorrow.

Two cannibals are eating their dinner and one cannibal says to the other, “I don’t like my mother-in-law much.” The other cannibal replies, “Well, just eat your chips then.”

21ST May

The new Epidemic: Anxiety, Panic & Depression,

self help article by Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, SRN, CPH

Author: Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, SRN, CPH
Clinical Medical Hypnotist
President & Program Designer
Sarasota Medical & Sports Hypnosis Institute

The number of people suffering from panic, anxiety, agoraphobia, and the like has reached more than epidemic proportions.

If we add to this number, those people suffering additional anxiety due to a specific disease process such as heart disease, cancer, diabetes, circulatory disturbances, and pain-related disorders such as arthritis, fibromyalgia, & the like, one wonders if anyone is left anxiety-free.

The anxiety/panic epidemic is not just a national problem, but one of international proportion. The large majority of those suffering with these disorders are holding full-time jobs, many at Executive and managerial levels and are experiencing a relatively high degree of workplace stress.

Many are taking medications of some sort, from tranquillizers to anti-depressants and sleeping pills. Others are addicted to other substances including alcohol, cigarettes, sugar, and drugs, both legal and illegal.

Most people with anxiety/panic disorder have very similar complaints from free floating anxiety to full-blown anxiety attacks, making them prisoners of their own lives.

Many complain of poor concentration and memory recall, and tend to be absent from work quite frequently, and few can remember the last time they felt well, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Managing anxiety and panic is like anything else. There are many facets to be considered, and once these are defined, a workable program needs to be put in place, and then worked on with persistence!

Holistic Key #1: Food Stress

Most people pay very little attention to what they put into their bodies in the form of food or drink, or the combination thereof. In fact, most bodies don't know what to expect. Sometimes they get breakfast, sometimes they don't.

Many days they are loaded with junk, and other days they're put on some sort of a diet. Now, I can hear the yelps...."I eat low-fat." "I never snack between meals." "I count my calories very closely."

For many people this is true, but even for those who follow some sort of regime, research shows we still may be eating incorrectly for our own body needs. 75% of the population carry a gene known as Profactor H, or the caveman gene.

This hereditary factor guides the way our body responds to certain foods, especially high carbohydrate foods. by over producing the hormone insulin. Insulin is a fat-storer, and we either over produce this hormone or build a resistance to it, our bodies store our intake as fat, even if we are eating a low fat diet.

In reality, if a diet is too low-fat,the body will actually store even more. If we have a tendency towards this Profactor, we need to be careful about which carbohydrate foods we chose, how often we eat them, and the amounts at each meal.

We need to be aware of the balance between our intake of protein, fat and carbohydrates. Once the balance is in place the body can start burning fat,which is the ideal biochemical state.

This holds true even if a person is not over-weight, as is sometimes the case in panic and anxiety disorders. It is also important to note that Profactor H is the underlying link to the major killers; heart disease, adult onset diabetes, atherosclerosis, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, certain cancers including breast, ovarian and uterine, and is a link to smoking and yo-yo weight gain.

People with a tendency to Profactor H, or hyperinsulinemia have a particular personality profile which includes anxiety, panic, agoraphobia, emotional instability, depression, PMS, and many other uncomfortable body feelings. Many turn to cigarettes, drugs, or alcohol to try to calm this feeling that they describe as "stress."

This feeling is actually a drop in blood sugar, or what is known as food-induced hyperinsulinemia. For people with an active" body symptom policing system" in place, this blood sugar drop is very frightening.

The body answers this hypoglycemic response with an outpouring of other stress hormones including adrenalin and cortisol, among others. These neurological stimulators increase the already present body sensations, and fear sets in.

This frightening cycle intensifies, and many choose to completely alter their lives in a sad attempt to manage this biochemical reaction.

Once one learns to manage food-induced hyperinsulinemia, the body sensations are reduced greatly. The next step is to understand how to reinterpret the sensations, so they can actually work for the individual, instead of hindering his progress.

INTERACTIVE SELF-HYPNOSIS: Working with Body Sensations, Thoughts and Emotions

The body communicates with us through our body feelings or sensations. Whenever we feel tension, that is an attempt of the body to let us know it is under physical stress. Most of us never pay any attention to this body communication, especially on low levels. We do pay lots of attention once the sensations begin screaming at us, such as neck spasms, backache, indigestion, heart palpitations, dizziness, headaches, to name a few.

By this time the stress chemicals in the body are very high, and seriously interfering with our ability to function on all levels. We can learn to manage this by learning various techniques which retrain the brain to release the stress chemicals on low levels subconsciously.

"Interactive Hypnosis" is a variety of techniques which put the individual in charge of managing his own body chemistry. When we teach our brain to be aware and release low stressors, we do not need to be alerted. The brain becomes an excellent employee, doing it's job for us.

We can also train the brain to notice and release negative chemical producing thoughts and emotions which appear and which are not currently needed for our functioning. These techniques are very powerful, and allows the mind to clear itself and be available for the work at hand.

These tools have been utilized by top athletes, executives, and thoseinterested in accelerated learning.

Most people suffering from anxiety, panic, depression, sleep disorders, poor concentration, memory, and pain, have what is known as "run away brain syndrome." The mind is continuously running all by itself with no guidance or direction. This is very stress-chemical producing, and a person in this state has little chance of moving towards a worthwhile goal.

They are basically caught in the stress cycle which is self-fulfilling. To make matters worse, the brain sees this "syndrome" as the goal, and works hard to keep it going.

Anyone can learn self-hypnosis, as it is a natural process. When one learns to relax very deeply utilizing special techniques, and then introduces personalized metaphors, the subconscious mind accepts these as real. "Interactive Self-Hypnosis" utilizes sensory imaging techniques to move one past obstacles or the perceived problem, and on to greener pastures.

These techniques are health producing, as the body works to manufacture healing chemicals when the person places himself in this state. These chemicals actually boost the immune system, and work to reverse or control an active disease process.

We know that 60-90% of disease processes are stress related. By learning to manage anxiety and panic holistically, you have the power to move your mind/body from an illness mode to one of high level health So, we could say that 60-90% of your health outcomes are up to you!

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, SRN, CPH is a Clinical Medical Hypnotist, President & Program Designer for Sarasota Medical & Sports Hypnosis Institute located in Sarasota, FL & online at http://www.hypnosis-audio.com & http://www.sugar-addiction.com. She specializes in stress, anxiety & panic issues, as well as high level performance & the food-connection to mind function. She welcomes you to her interactive websites & will answer questions personally.

20th May

3 Keys to Making Small Talk Easy to Do by Peter Murphy

Small talk used to be really hard work for me. I never knew what to say and I always worried about saying the wrong thing.

Then something awful happened to me....

I had to take a job dealing with the public. My worst fears came true and I had to make small talk with a whole range of people each and every day.

I found it difficult, tedious and nerve wracking.

Eventually after a lot of trial and error I got the hang of it. And today I find it easy to do and even enjoyable.

You can do the same when you learn a few key distinctions:

1. Understand that the purpose of small talk is not to exchange information.

It is a game to find things you have in common with the other person.

Decide to be intensely curious about the other person and go fishing for what you have in common. When you are genuinely interested in other people they will respond positively to your questions and to the way you listen to what they have to say.

When you take the pressure off yourself to be a great conversationalist and become a detective searching for commonality the conversation tends to take care of itself.

Why?

Because people like people that are like them.

The more commonality you discover, the more the other person will like you and feel as if they have known you for some time.

This in turn causes the conversation to flow.

2. Give first to encourage sharing.

If all you do is ask questions the other person will feel as if they are being interrogated.

That is not the idea!

Be prepared to reveal something about yourself first without getting too personal.

By sharing first you are leading the way and cause the other person to feel obligated to return the favor.

Sharing and receiving in this way allows you to take charge of any conversation and to easily lead it where you want to go.

Remember this...

If you can lead a conversation you can control it. You now know how to lead any conversation - give first and watch the other person respond.

Most people will follow your lead right away. If the person does not just move on to someone else.

Never shoot for 100% with people as its not a realistic goal. Life does not work like that.

3. Review the How to Start a Great Conversation with Anyone bonus report

It comes with my book at:http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

There are 15 key distinctions in the report. Play with one a day until you master it and then move onto the next one.

In this way, two weeks down the road you will have a wide range of proven ways to keep any conversation moving along.

The key to success with this material is to use it, play with it and then adjust it to suit you.

For the sake of 10-15 minutes a day, every day, you can progressively get better and better at making conversation.

Its not rocket science. Its just a matter of strategy - knowing it and using it.

Have Fun,Peter

Highly Recommended Resources:

1 The Sedona Method

I run a free discussion board where you can learn more aboutthis powerful self help technology. The Sedona Method teachesyou how to let go of wanting the approval of other people aswell as showing you to improve all of your relationships byreleasing the emotional baggage we tend to hold onto.

You can also request a free introductory tape or learn more at:

http://groups.msn.com/TheSedonaMethodreleasingClub/

2 AffirmWare

AffirmWare is a very clever computer application that you canuse to stay on track to achieve your goals. It is based onbreakthrough understandings of how the mind works and will helpyou to make your dreams come true.

I use it and recommend it to you as a simple tool you can useeach day to improve the quality of your life in unexpected ways.

http://www.affirmware.com.au/#peter1510

Disclaimer:This publication is designed to provide accurate information inregard to the subject matter covered. It is offered with theunderstanding that the author and publisher are not engaged inrendering medical or psychological service. This newsletter isnot intended to be a substitute for therapy or professionaladvice.

The Communicate At Your Best Newsletter is published byPeter Murphy. http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.comCopyright (c) 2004 Peter Murphy

19th May

Attitude is Everything by Jim Rohn

The process of human change begins within us. We all have tremendous potential. We all desire good results from our efforts. Most of us are willing to work hard and to pay the price that success and happiness demand.

Each of us has the ability to put our unique human potential into action and to acquire a desired result. But the one thing that determines the level of our potential, that produces the intensity of our activity, and that predicts the quality of the result we receive is our attitude.

Attitude determines how much of the future we are allowed to see. It decides the size of our dreams and influences our determination when we are faced with new challenges. No other person on earth has dominion over our attitude. People can affect our attitude by teaching us poor thinking habits or unintentionally misinforming us or providing us with negative sources of influence, but no one can control our attitude unless we voluntarily surrender that control.

No one else "makes us angry." We make ourselves angry when we surrender control of our attitude. What someone else may have done is irrelevant. We choose, not they. They merely put our attitude to a test. If we select a volatile attitude by becoming hostile, angry, jealous or suspicious, then we have failed the test. If we condemn ourselves by believing that we are unworthy, then again, we have failed the test.

If we care at all about ourselves, then we must accept full responsibility for our own feelings. We must learn to guard against those feelings that have the capacity to lead our attitude down the wrong path and to strengthen those feelings that can lead us confidently into a better future.

If we want to receive the rewards the future holds in trust for us, then we must exercise the most important choice given to us as members of the human race by maintaining total dominion over our attitude.

Our attitude is an asset, a treasure of great value, which must be protected accordingly. Beware of the vandals and thieves among us who would injure our positive attitude or seek to steal it away.

Having the right attitude is one of the basics that success requires.

The combination of a sound personal philosophy and a positive attitude about ourselves and the world around us gives us an inner strength and a firm resolve that influences all the other areas of our existence.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

This article was submitted by Jim Rohn, America's Foremost Business Philosopher. To subscribe to the Free Jim Rohn Weekly E-zine go to www.jimrohn.com or send a blank email to subscribe@jimrohn.com Copyright © 2000 Jim Rohn International. All rights reserved worldwide

18th May

Single Living Strategies for
Unfair Work Demands
self help Contributors article

Single Savers

“I would like to see some information geared to single households and some suggestions on how to deflect some of the nasty comments about being "selfish."

I'm usually the one that gets to work late because "I don't have a husband or children to go home to."

I have worked full time my whole life and would like to take some time (before retirement) to relax, pursue my interests, exercise and live life. I am a different person when not overscheduled and stressed.

Please can you help by soliciting suggestions from other single readers regarding saving, cutting expenses, and lifestyle? “ --- Margaret

17th May

Coach Your Critic OUT!
Self help self esteem article
by Deborah Brown

The infamous inner critic, you know, that little voice inside your head that says you can't, until you're pretty darn sure it's right.

Well, it's not. It's dead wrong.

I'm going to give you the surefire cure to oust your critic and realize your amazing potential.

Tactic One: Know Your Enemy.

In order to fight the good fight, you have to recognize the enemy. In other words, you must spend some time getting to know your own thinking process.

Take a day to listen from the inside out instead of the outside in. What are you saying to yourself? When a great idea pops into your head what do you do with it?

Many people diminish it until the good idea is but a mere memory. So listen close and hear what your personal inner critic sounds like.

Tactic Two: Talk Back

Don't stand negative self-talk. Isn't it interesting that we won't accept someone else putting us down, but we are quite content to let our inner critic do us in?

Quit being your own worst enemy. When you hear "I can't", talk back immediately! You can talk your inner critic back into silence. It's not fond of fighting.

Tactic Three: Write It Down To Size

Yes indeed, the pen is a powerful tool. Once you have learned to recognize the inner critic, and you've started talking back, keep it in its place by writing it out.

This takes a little more time and a little more discipline, but in the long run you will come out ahead. Write down all the icky, finicky, frustrating stuff in your head.

Write freely with no editing, no reading, and no rereading. Just get it out.

Vent and complain about everything on your mind. Then you'll be rid of the emotional clutter that can keep you from succeeding.

But you are not finished! Write out your affirmations. All those great things that you want to do, be, and achieve. Write them like they have already happened.

Believe it or not, it will start to sink into your subconscious until you find yourself making these things happen.

Tactic Four: Be Nicer to Yourself

This is permission to be a little insane. In fact, this exercise might make you feel a little funny at first, but if you keep at it, in time you won't even be able to find your inner critic.

Nothing makes it shrink like a face to face showdown. So gather your courage, and look in the mirror.

Instead of criticizing yourself, as we so often do, give yourself some encouragement.

Biblically we are told to treat our neighbors like ourselves. If we did that, our neighbors would move! Unless we start treating ourselves better.

And it's high time we did. Write down ten great things about yourself and read them everyday.

Before long, you'll begin to see that you are right. You have amazing potential and superb ideas. You are on the verge of making your dreams a reality.

These four tactics are all you need to cure your inner critic.

The more you use them, the better they will work.

So, create a routine that puts you at the head of your team!

About the Author:
Deborah Brown is a noted personal coach and motivational speaker who helps people remove the obstacles in their life so they can reach their goals and surpass their dreams. In 90 days, Deborah has helped clients go from jobs they hated, to careers they loved; from thinking they would never meet someone to date, to finding a relationship; from having the people in their lives not listen and understand them, to getting their needs met by family, friends, and co-workers just by asking.

Having a life you love starts when you believe you can. Deborah Brown Helps You Believe That You Can. To Learn More Visit: http://www.SurpassYourDreams.com, send an e-mail to http://www.SurpassYourDreams.com or call (212) 586-0787 Today!Article courtesy of MediaPeak, http://mediapeak.com

16th May

10 WAYS TO DEVELOP ADMIRABLE QUALITIES
THAT BUILD CHARACTER (and by example,
Developing Acceptance in Your Life)
self help self esteem article
by W. Bradford Swift

I have found one of the most powerful of the 28 Attraction Principles formulated by Thomas Leonard (see www.irrestibleattraction.com) is #8 -- Become Irresistibly Attractive To Yourself, or as Leonard says, "do stuff that makes you proud of yourself."

One of the ways to do this is to pick a quality that you don't currently have much facility with and to develop it in yourself. But how do you do that? Well, here are ten places to start.

Also, the quality I'm using as an example is "Acceptance." You could also think of this as unconditional love, giving people space, giving room for people's garbage while continuing to stand for their greatness, etc.

So, if this is a quality you'd like to develop, this list will serve double duty.

1. One of the first ways to developing a particular quality is to do exactly what I'm doing -- create a top ten list of ways to develop that particular quality.

While these ten ways are intended to provide good general information on quality development, making a specific list will be beneficial in its own way.

The examples given on acceptance will illustrate this and will serve as an example of a top ten list on a specific quality.

2. Notice what is automatically present in your life that tends to block out the quality you desire. You can get at this by thinking of it this way.

Imagine that there's something already taking up the room where the desired quality could fit in your life, so once you've identified what that is you can start to set that aside, freeing up space for the desired quality to come into play.

For example, one of the things I see that gets in the way of acceptance is being judgmental, so each time I catch myself being judgmental I have the opportunity to set my judgment aside and try being accepting in those moments.

3. To take a little deeper look at number two, take a moment to identify the background assumption that gives rise to the undesired quality that you want to replace.

Often it will be some version of "there's something wrong here," something wrong with you, with the other person, with the situation, etc.

Once you've identified this baseline assumption, you can shift to a more constructive assumption, perhaps something like, "life is perfect."

For example, can you see if you are coming from the assumption that something is wrong, that will naturally give rise to being judgmental, and when you shift to "life is perfect," that allows for being accepting to arise instead.

4. Pretend. That's right, just like you used to do when you were a child.

Pretend you are a person who is already masterful with the desired quality, then ask yourself how would such a person act differently, what would they say, what would they do? Then, go and be, do and say those things.

For example, pretend you are a master as acceptance. How would you behave differently, what would you say differently, and what different actions might you take?

5. Closely related to #4, identify someone in your life who already possesses this quality to a large degree, then interview this person about the quality.

What has owning such a quality made possible in their life, how did they develop it, what are the obstacles to watch out for in developing it. Then, use whatever seems of valuable.

For example, if I'm interested in being more accepting in my life (which I am), I would interview my wife, who has a far better handle on this quality than I. In fact, I'll be doing that right after I finish writing this.

6. Acknowledge every little place where you already see that quality in yourself. Most of us don't start with our particular quality bank account at zero, and it's helpful to acknowledge wherever we have exhibited some of the desired quality.

For example, I tend to be more accepting with my coaching clients than with a lot of people in my personal life, especially when I first start working with them.

I think this is because I realize that people start at a lot of different places when they hire me as a coach and I'm fine with wherever they are.

Realizing this allows me to then carry that over to the other areas of my life where I've not be as accepting.

7. Let other people around you know what you are up to. Now, on this one be selective. Pick those people who are "in your corner" and positively supportive; people who will encourage you and give your positive enforcement.

For example, I've already told my wife and daughter that I'm working on being more accepting because I know they'd love to see this happen (they've already told me that) and they'll support me.

8. Use your coach. If you've hired a coach to support you in your life, be sure to include them in this "quality control project." They can help you keep the project in existence, and coach you in different ways to take ground in it.

For example, this is one of the topics I'll be discussing with my coach, Michele Lisenbury (www.lisenbury.com), my project to developing the quality of acceptance in my life over the next 30 days.

9. Consciously stop at least one undesired quality to make room for the new quality. I know, this is similar to #2 but a little different.

You may find there are more than one undesired qualities that could be replaced with the new, desired quality. If so, stop as many of them as possible which will create a lot of room for the new quality to be put.

For example, besides being judgmental getting in the way of being accepting, I also see that getting angry can get in the way as well. So, I'll be working on ways to redirect the angry so that energy can be more constructively used.

10. Make a list of the top five benefits you and those around you will receive from having developed the new quality.

We work on stuff that is in our best interest, so take the time to figure out what that is. It will help motivate you when the going gets a little sticky.

For example, I know that being more accepting will strengthen my relationships with my wife and daughter, that it will make me a more effective coach, it will help me in my relationship with the magazine editors I work with, it will make me more attractive to others which will undoubtedly have many benefits, and it will give me more room to be with myself when I'm more accepting of myself.

No wonder I'm so excited about developing this new quality.

Thanks go to Thomas Leonard, creator of the Attraction Operating System, for inspiring this article.

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

C 1998 Brad Swift. http://www.lifeonpurpose.com/ lifeonpurpose@brinet.com or call 828.697-9239 for more free information. This material may be transmitted freely with this contact and attribution information. Enjoy!

15th May

Self-Appreciation,
self help self esteem article
by Charles David Heineke

I believe that a low sense of self-worth is a major problem plaguing most people today. It often underlies many other problems we face.

Without a healthy sense of oneself, we feel unworthy of respect and of good things in our life.

Our society has often taught us to value others and to devalue ourselves. Yet this doesn't work for the betterment of all society.

Unless we truly value ourselves, we're always looking to others for our sense of value or approval. Consequently, this usually entails trying to manipulate them into "loving" us in some way in order for us to gain a sense of self-appreciation.

Manipulation and control are always detrimental to relationships. And needing the approval of others always leaves our self-worth in someone else's hands.

I, too, had felt the sting of putting others before self, to the denial and negation of a healthy self-respect and self-appreciation.

I, too, looked to others for approval, for the first 50 years of my life. I knew the struggle of seeking to find an appropriate sense of oneself, whether or not one had the approval of others.

The thing that turned it around for me was simply accepting, with child-like faith, the belief that I am loved and have value in this world, simply because I exist!

From my historical religious perspective, it was a matter of my accepting "God's view of me" rather than the world's view of me.

I simply accepted the belief that I have value, as do all people, because I am part of God's creation, created by Him/Her, as an extension of that Goodness.

Nothing I've ever done has earned it; nothing I've ever done has lost it; and nothing I've ever failed to do has lost it.

It's simply that I have worth because I'm a part of that which is intrinsically and inherently Good, as we all are. Period.

I'd assented to that belief intellectually for some years, but knowing something intellectually and knowing it experientially aren't the same thing.

I now feel my worth within, whether or not anyone else on the planet validates my worth by their appreciation of me.

I appreciate others' appreciation of me, but I don't depend on it, for no one else can know me as I know me.

And if they're not appreciating me, it may simply be because they aren't appreciating themselves either, so they can't see beyond their own pain.

Put simply, a person's worth doesn't depend on anyone else's approval but God's.

Once I began to get my sense of worth from within rather than trying to get others to value me from without, I was able to let everybody else "off the hook".

Nobody else had to "value me" in order for me to feel my own worth. This gives me the freedom to allow people to be just as they are, whether or not they include me.

And it gives me the freedom to love others, whether or not they return that love. In my opinion, unconditional love doesn't have to be returned; it only has to be given, because giving is its nature.

This said, my only advice to anyone would be to simply decide you have value by accepting that belief for yourself. That's really why we want others' approval—to convince ourselves of our worth.

But our worth is a given; only our unbelief keeps us from accepting it.

You can never do enough to please everybody. So please yourself and let those who are attracted to what you are be attracted to you.

As you become willing to release the compulsion to need validation from others, you can begin to give of yourself in a way that others will more likely value you.

You don't have to try to be any specific "something" somebody else would want. Just plain "goodness" is attractive to most people.

The problem with trying to "win" others' approval is that we don't have our own approval in that situation. And since others reflect back to us what we believe about ourselves, they will reflect back unapproval.

Most people don't act; they react. So they don't "act" toward you; they "react" to you.

When you begin to value you, others will feel that value and respond accordingly.

As long as your happiness depends on something outside of yourself, your happiness is in someone else's hands.

And you can't control that. I've learned that I can give myself happiness by simply doing it, by loving myself as purely and innocently as I would love any other human being, for I am "another human being" to others.

You have value, whether or not anyone else acknowledges it.

You are worthwhile, whether or not anyone else says so. And as you begin to live from that perspective, you will begin to radiate a sense of well-being that others will like and want to be around.

You don't have to try to be something they will like. Your own unique version of "goodness" will be sufficient. People will still have preferences and may prefer someone else over you.

But they will have a greater sense of appreciation for you as you express a greater appreciation for yourself. Most importantly, you will appreciate you and more easily appreciate others.

I wish I could tell you specifically what you have to do to achieve this, but I can't. It's simply a belief that you adopt. And a belief (any belief) is simply a thought that you think, over and over, until you come to adopt it, whether or not it is true.

We have many beliefs that aren't "true", but because we believe them, they become true in our experience of life. But your worth is one that, I believe, is unquestionably true.

You only need to accept it as true for yourself to begin reaping the benefits of it.

Your own eternal self knows that all is well, even if your intellect isn't yet convinced of that. But you can retrain your intellect by simply changing your mind.

That's how your intellect got every belief it has now—you accepted something long enough that you came to believe it!

You're OK. You have value.

As YOU begin to live from your worth, and not from a sense of lack of worth, you will radiate that worth to others, who, like you previously, are also looking for their sense of worth.

As you know your own worth, you also know their worth.

Give yourself permission to value yourself, despite the teachings of our society to the contrary. Jesus said it eloquently when he said, "Love your neighbor AS you love yourself."

Loving ourselves is the measure by which we should love others. Funny how our society has gotten that one backward! In truth, you cannot love others until you begin to love yourself.

I've learned that I can be a "lover" simply by loving, whether or not anyone else "loves me back".

I am "in love" whether or not a specific person "loves me back". I am a lover, period.

And a lover loves! And as I love, I get to feel the wonder of that love flowing through me.

When water flows through a pipe, the pipe gets wet, too! I've learned that as I focus on giving, rather than receiving, I too receive from the act of giving.

You have value. But you must claim your value.

When you look to others to validate it, you are, in that moment, not claiming it for yourself.

So others have a harder time of claiming it for you, since most of them don't claim it for themselves either.

Enough of this. You are loved.

Charles David Heineke, 1998 Spread the word. Please copy freely. Visit Charles' website, "My Little Doorway to Heaven"

Helping Those At-Risk:

The DoorWay is dedicated to helping those in at-risk situations. The DoorWay seeks to accomplish this by focusing on four primary areas: prevention, education and communication, crisis intervention, and recovery. To learn more about any of these areas and The DoorWay's programs which address them, go to http://www.doorway.org

14th May

If you're like most people, the last year has been a ride and the word "busy" doesn't even begin to scratch the surface.

At the same time there is a group of individuals who have seen their time, skills and income continue to increase and their relationships, health and spiritual lives begin to flourish.

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13th May

Self Help Happiness article excerpt widely distributed in emails, based on the philosophy of the character George in the Seinfeld show:

Says George:

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.

I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time.

What do you get at the end of it? A death.

What’s that, a bonus?!?

I think the life cycle is all backwards.

You should die first, get it out of the way.

Then you go live in an old age home.

You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School.

You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!!!! Amen”

12th May

Self help Goals development and Goal Setting inspirations and quotes by the master philosopher - Jim Rohn

* The major reason for setting a goal is for what it makes of you to accomplish it. What it makes of you will always be the far greater value than what you get.

* When Andrew Carnegie died, they discovered a sheet of paper upon which he had written one of the major goals of his life: to spend the first half of his life accumulating money and to spend the last half of his life giving it all away. And he did!

* Some people are disturbed by those tough days because all they have is the days. They haven't designed or described or defined the future.

* Goals. There's no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There's no telling what you can do when you believe in them. And there's no telling what will happen when you act upon them.

* We all need lots of powerful long-range goals to help us past the short-term obstacles.

* The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them.

* Don't set your goals too low. If you don't need much, you won't become much.

* If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you. If you go to work on your plan, your plan will go to work on you. Whatever good things we build end up building us.

* We all have two choices: We can make a living or we can design a life.

11th May

Self help for Establishing Dreams and Goals by Jim Rohn

One of the amazing things we have been given as humans is the unquenchable desire to have dreams of a better life, and the ability to establish goals to live out those dreams.

Think of it: We can look deep within our hearts and dream of a better situation for ourselves and our families; dream of better financial lives and better emotional or physical lives; certainly dream of better spiritual lives.

But what makes this even more powerful is that we have also been given the ability to not only dream but to pursue those dreams and not only to pursue them, but the cognitive ability to actually lay out a plan and strategies (setting goals) to achieve those dreams. Powerful!

And that is what we will discuss in detail this week: How to dream dreams and establish goals to get those dreams.

What are your dreams and goals? This isn't what you already have or what you have done, but what you want.

Have you ever really sat down and thought through your life values and decided what you really want?

Have you ever taken the time to truly reflect, to listen quietly to your heart, to see what dreams live within you? Your dreams are there. Everyone has them.

They may live right on the surface, or they may be buried deep from years of others telling you they were foolish, but they are there.

So how do we know what our dreams are? This is an interesting process and it relates primarily to the art of listening. This is not listening to others; it is listening to yourself.

If we listen to others, we hear their plans and dreams (and many will try to put their plans and dreams on us). If we listen to others, we can never be fulfilled.

We will only chase elusive dreams that are not rooted deep within us. No, we must listen to our own hearts.

Let's take a look at some practical steps/thoughts on hearing from our hearts on what our dreams are:

Take time to be quiet. This is something that we don't do enough in this busy world of ours. We rush, rush, rush, and we are constantly listening to noise all around us.

The human heart was meant for times of quiet, to peer deep within. It is when we do this that our hearts are set free to soar and take flight on the wings of our own dreams!

Schedule some quiet "dream time" this week. No other people. No cell phone. No computer. Just you, a pad, a pen, and your thoughts (you get to do this in the workbook exercises this week).

Think about what really thrills you. When you are quiet, think about those things that really get your blood moving.

What would you LOVE to do, either for fun or for a living? What would you love to accomplish? What would you try if you were guaranteed to succeed?

What big thoughts move your heart into a state of excitement and joy?

When you answer these questions you will feel Great and you will be in the "dream zone."

It is only when we get to this point that we experience what Our dreams are!

Write down all of your dreams as you have them.

Don't think of any as too outlandish or foolish - remember, you're dreaming!

Let the thoughts fly and take careful record.

Now, prioritize those dreams. Which are most important? Which are most feasible?

Which would you love to do the most? Put them in the order in which you will actually try to attain them.

Remember, we are always moving toward action, not just dreaming.

Here is the big picture: Life is too short to not pursue your dreams. Someday your life will near its end and all you will be able to do is look backwards.

You can reflect with joy or regret. Those who dream, who set goals and act on them to live out their dreams are those who live lives of joy and have a sense of peace when they near the end of their lives.

They have finished well, for themselves and for their families.

Remember: These are the dreams and goals that are born out of your heart and mind.

These are the goals that are unique to you and come from who you were created to be and gifted to become.

Your specific goals are what you want to attain because they are what will make your life joyful and bring your family's life into congruence with what you want it to be.

Until next week, let's do something remarkable!

Jim Rohn

(Excerpted from Week Six of the Jim Rohn One-Year Success Plan) Jim Rohn One Year Success Plan

10th May

On taking responsibility for self change: When dealing with people, I generally take the obvious approach. When someone says, "This always happens to me and that always happens to me. Why do these things always happen to me?" I simply say, "Beats me. I don't know. All I know is that those kinds of things seem to happen to people like you."

- Jim Rohn

My self help journey to let go of being a "drama junkie."

How much time in your life have you spent listening to and commisserating with people who have never got anything but negatives and problems in their life to talk about?

What a waste of your precious time! I know that seems a hard thing to say about people who obviously "have problems" and come to you "for help" because you are always such a caring listener and so supportive of them...... hmmmm.

Some people I have known seem in fact to be DETERMINED to stay in trouble.

The "exitement" and "drama" constantly surrounding their grief and problem filled lives, seems to be the very fuel that they run on. Life is simply too boring for them when they are quietly contented with life and all the abundance it offers us.

I have concluded that some people simply are "Sh** Magnets" and will go out of their way to create the "energy" of conflict if they need to "feel alive"

The first step in the self help road to TOTAL BLISS in your life, is to hammer into your brain the fact that LIFE IS MEANT TO BE HAPPY.... and sometimes to them that might be downright "boring" to live in contented, calm, bliss for months and years on end..... GET OVER IT!

I call it "stirring the porridge" happiness. To be able to do the simple things and "chores" of daily life, with a contented smile on your face and joy in your heart. In relationships for instance, it means not needing the angst and pain of a hurtful fight with your loved one, only so that you can feel the "passionate love" of "making up again" with them afterwards.

How many people do you know that simply can't function in a relationship.... your time is always spent in "picking up the pieces" of these people after each "tragedy"...?

Next time, simply re-assure them that you know how smart they are, and that you trust them to be able to work out for themselves how to best sort out their own lives.

After all only an idiot keeps doing the same thing OVER AND OVER AGAIN, and expects a DIFFERENT OUTCOME to result each time.....

In my case, I was not the person wanting the actual drama in my life.... I have always aimed for peace and contentment.... BUT.... I kept ATTRACTING people who were drama junkies to me..... It turns out it filled my need to be a "little Miss Fix It" for other people... so my life was spent in perpetual "counselling and support" for these people who just ate up my time and energy....

It was exhausting, and FRUSTRATING, because after the first few sessions, it starts to sink into your head that whatever support and "advice" you are offering is of no use, because the person has absolutely no intention of ever improving their lives and methods....at least not while you're around, supporting them to stay the way they are...

It's nice to be a giver, but if you REALLY want to help these people onto the road for real self help discovery and strength, step back and let them learn for themselves....

All the best in Happiness, Health and Prosperity - Helene Malmsio

Personal development self help blog:

9th May

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.” – Abraham Lincoln

SELF HELP TIP FOR THE DAY:
"Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life." – Burton Hills

When you woke up this morning, how happy had you already decided to be for the day...? We are happy by nature, usually until life comes and "happens to us" and distracts us from our natural state.

Try simply making the DECISION, simply CHOOSING TO BE HAPPY for a day. Smile when you open your eyes, and keep smiling. CHOOSE to rise above the petty distractions, and keep the "tragedies" of the day in perspective....

It works for me, no reason it won't for you. - Helene Malmsio

8th May

“Motivation alone is not enough. If you have an idiot and you motivate him, now you have a motivated idiot. .” – Jim Rohn

SELF HELP TIP FOR THE DAY:
"People have more options than they think they do. But most people spend more time planning their vacations than thinking about what they want to do with their lives." - Bob McDonald

"I read an article recently about why it is important to align goals with our values. It seems this salesman set his goals for the coming year. He had a target for volume of sales and acquired new business. He then planned his work schedule to accomplish these goals. It would involve a great deal of traveling, with frequent weekends away from home.

Although he was successfully implementing his plan and having positive results towards meeting his goals, he was not overjoyed. Why? It had nothing to do with his job, but had all to do with his family life. You see, he put great value on being with his family. He missed time spent with his wife and sharing memorable experiences with his two sons. He was away from home too much.

When he realized this, he changed is travelling schedule so that he could be with his family every weekend, on holidays and occasionally during the week. It meant working longer hours when travelling, but to him that was okay. His adjustment put his goals in line with his values, and both his business and his family life flourished.

Are your goals in line with your values? It is necessary first to identify what your values are, both personally and professionally. How important is your family and other relationships, your health, your integrity and honesty, respect for others, meaningful career. These are only a few values to consider. Denis Waitly put it nicely, "Happiness, wealth and success are by-products of goal setting, they cannot be the goal themselves."

If you do not have written goals for your career and your life, it is time to start. Review each goal with respect to your values. If they don't line up, make some adjustments. Next it is important to plan your time to meet your goals. This is a topic for another time." © 2002 Carol Halsey - read the full article at:
Aligning Goals With Your Values, self help article by Carol Halsey

7th May

The Situation: You've done all the analysis and narrowed your options to two courses of action. Both have strengths and weaknesses, risks and rewards. You can't make up your mind.

The Solution: Flip a coin or put each option on one side of an index card and flip it.

The Secret: Pay attention to how you feel about the winner. Are you relieved? Disappointed? That feeling represents your intuition -- which has been overwhelmed by all the heavy analysis you've been doing.

Action to Take: Follow your intuition, not chance.

6thMay

“Success is Getting what you Want - Happiness is Wanting what you Get”

SELF HELP TIP FOR THE DAY:

"Success makes Living easier. It doesn't make Life easier." Bruce Springstein

I totally agree with Barbara Bush who said "At the end of your life you will never regret not having passed one more test, winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a child, a friend or parent"

No one has died with their last words being "I wish I had spent more time at the office...."

But my favourite saying is the first one, which I have referred to for over 25 years now....“Success is Getting what you Want - Happiness is Wanting what you Get”

I have had many hard won and well earned "successes" in my life but the sweetest times in my life were always when I simply "wanted what I got" in my life, as a result of my labours. A small but very powerful distinction of how we perceive life.

My view has always been that the "glass is half FULL" rather than half empty..... When life hands you bitter lemons, you are being given the opportunity to enjoy home made lemonade!

"Polly-anna thinking" - sure! "Simplistic view of life" - sure!
Am I happier and more successfull in life as a result - YOU BET!

5th May

“Change Begins With Choice ” - self help philosophy by Jim Rohn

"Every life form seems to strive to its maximum except human beings.

How tall will a tree grow? As tall as it possibly can.

Human beings, on the other hand, have been given the dignity of choice. You can choose to be all or you can choose to be less.

Why not stretch up to the full measure of the challenge and see what all you can do? "
- Jim Rohn

Any day we wish; we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish; we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish; we can start a new activity.

Any day we wish; we can start the process of life change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year.

We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are.

We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence.

The choices are ours to make. But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause. As Shakespeare uniquely observed, "The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves." We created our circumstances by our past choices.

We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today. Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions.

They need the truth. They need the whole truth. And they need nothing but the truth.

We cannot allow our errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead us down the wrong path. We must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how our life works out.

And then we must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy into our daily lives.

And if I may be so bold to offer my last piece of advice for someone seeking and needing to make changes in their life - If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree.

You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life - and it all begins with your very own power of choice.

To Your Success, Jim Rohn

4TH May

“ Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so” - self help quote from John Stuart Mill

" Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts."
- Nikki Giovanni

Feel Happy!

Self help strategy blog for emotion management:

You might look at the following strategy and think "Oh No! Not more of this simplistic - quick fix - nonsense".
Please don't discard this powerful concept just because it is so SIMPLE. Simple doesn't always mean EASY.
You have to apply yourself - consistentlly - with a genuine desire to improve your emotional wellbeing, THEN you will get powerful results.

Go on - Try this straightforward self help exercise – answer the questions and notice how you feel when you think about the answers……

“What am I most enjoying in my life right now?”
(as Tony R. says, don’t say “..nothing!”
Instead ask yourself “If I could be enjoying something in my life right now, what would that be?”)

Then ask yourself:
“What about that do I enjoy?”

Then ask yourself:
“How does that make me feel?”

Then next ask yourself:
“What am I most happy about in my life right now?”

Then ask yourself:
“What about that makes me feel happy?”

Notice how your emotions react to the experience of dwelling or thinking about the good and sweet things in your life. If you like the feeling and want more of it, just keep asking yourself the right questions.

Any self help tool, no matter how powerful, only works when you work it.

Also sometimes the “essence” of certain events or tangible things can be more important to how we feel than actually having more of exactly the same thing.

You don’t need to own a horse to ride one. You especially don’t need 6 horses to ride for the same experience that riding one can give you. You don’t have to own a countryside retreat to have a picnic in the countryside. You don’t even have to own a Ferrari to drive one.

There are many ways available to get the essence of what you want, that makes you feel happy. More self help on that later….

When you start each day asking yourself questions that generate a feeling of pleasure, excitement, enthusiasm, just by the act of answering them, your day gets off on the right path.

Try designing self help questions that suit your life or interests, maybe straightforward ones like
What am I excited about in my life now?
What am I grateful about in my life now?
What am I most looking forward to in my life today?

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to apply this self help strategy, do you? All you need is the DESIRE to improve your day and then make the commitment to actually APPLY it every morning for at least 30 days.

It will work. - Helene Malmsio

3rd May

Money management self help blog notes:

Home is where we learn to watch television.

Have you ever seen a TV commercial for a $100,000 necklace? For your own private jet? Rolls Royce?

2nd May

The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
The 14th Dalai Lama

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
- Marcel Proust

All the best in Happiness, Health and Prosperity - Helene Malmsio

1ST May

We now have OVER 80 free self help books available for you to download and enjoy on our “Self Help Books and Personal Development resources” web site, in self help subjects of Happiness through Personal development, Health through Nutrition, Diet & Exercise, Prosperity through Budgeting, finance management & home business income and Prosperity through Internet Business and writing e-books.

Get your free self help books at our sister site: www.personal-enterprise-self-help-resources.com self help books download page

Excuses for Not Going to Work

• I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking myprevious boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. Ok?

• Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

• I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, Ishouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may nowcontain false information.

• The psychiatrist said we had an excellent session. He even gaveme this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.

• When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to myProzac. Now I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.

• I'd prefer to remain an enigma.

• I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.

• I refuse to travel to my job in the district until there is acommuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.

All the best in Happiness, Health and Prosperity - Helene Malmsio