"When You Feel Your Worst…", self help self esteem article by Rox Sailors

I never thought I had a problem with self-esteem.

I thought I was the life of the party.

I had several friends, went out a lot socially, had a good job, sang along with the car radio, yes, I was on top of it.

Or so I thought.

The first clue that maybe I might not have it all together came when I attended my second child's "D.A.R.E." graduation at grade school.

I had worn a red 2 pc. suit, which was about the only thing looking good about me that day.

My daughter's teacher commented to my daughter that she had a very pretty mother.

My daughter replied back "You should tell her that, she has very low self-esteem".

My daughter was 12 at the time.

Bad Hair Day?

I used to have "Bad Hair" years. Now, I can take some ribbing with the best of them, but I remember one day in particular, when I arrived at the weekly staff meeting a few minutes late, (probably dealing with yet another crisis at home) and when I sat down, all eyes were on me.

After situating myself and my notes, pens, etc., I looked up, and on the long conference table in the front of the group, was a "mannequin head" with a wig plopped on it, and a sign with my name on it for my "Bad hair day".

Normally, I would have died laughing, but that day, I choked back burning tears and sat quietly as everyone else sat in stunned silence, amazed that I didn't "get" the humour.

When is the Baby Due?

One of my worst fears was to have someone ask me "when is the baby due?" and I would have to tell them that it was just another failed diet attempt.

I have lost over 50 pounds, four times in my life, and it just keeps coming and going.

No, Your Nose Isn't Long….For A Ski Slope…

A boyfriend ( I use the term loosely) actually said that to me when I was in high school. I have always been self-conscious of my nose.

It was broken when I was about ten or twelve, I thought I could toss a baton in the air and catch it with my nose, I guess.

Breast Implants are Really Inexpensive Now

If I turn sideways, would I be mistaken for a man? If I only had a chest like Dolly Parton, I'd be really happy and my life would be super.

I could probably make a ton of money modelling for lingerie ads and stuff.

How Do You Know That?

I don't have a college degree, not for lack of wanting one. I was just so excited to get out of high school and get on with the "real" world, I put it on hold.

Thirty years later, it's still on hold.

I want to put my three children through college, then it will be MY TURN. Employers can make you feel really small because you don't possess a degree, and GOOD jobs are hard to obtain without it.

Show Me The Money!

If I had a ton of money, I could really make a difference in this world. I could start programs that would help people, give gifts to make others happy or feel good, never have to work again (although I would only keep enough money to live comfortably with, then give ALL THE REST to charity.)

I could spend the rest of my life holding seminars, visiting people, making friends, making the world a happy place to be.

Now that I am older, and somewhat wiser, I want to share some secrets with you:

1. Bad Hair Days CAN be solved with a wig
If it is your hair that makes you feel like staying in bed all day, the MESSY look is in. It is WAY COOL to look like you just rolled out of bed…

2. Diets are for Models.
Unless you have a burning desire to stand in front of a camera for hours at a time, have that piece of cake.

I have turned down invitations from friends to go out to dinner because I was counting calories, and I had used up MY allotment before noon.

I am in no way promoting jeopardizing your health for being overweight, I am just saying that lots of problems have been resolved over a piece of pie and a cup of coffee.

Sideline Note: Just LAST WEEK one of the girls where I work came into the office and asked if I was "the pregnant one" she was supposed to talk to.

Luckily, the other girl in the office ISpregnant, so I was able to overcome the reality of my worstfear by reason of mistaken identity.

3. This is the face God gave me. And the Chest.
If it pleases Him, why should I worry about the size of my nose? or the freckles? Or that fact that I don't have a DDD cup size.

It's not what you look like, but who you are on the inside that really matters the most.

4. Money won't buy You Happiness.
How many times have you heard that one? But you know, it isTRUE.

There are tons of things you can do for free, to make the world a happier place, to help a person in need, to have your day in the sunshine.

Even if you don't have time to give talks, serve at the soup kitchen, visit a homebound elderly person, or throw a party, if you smile at just THREE strangers a day, that's three times you'll feel good about YOU in that ONE day.

Giving of yourself is the best remedy when feeling like you don't have a purpose in life. SMILE- even if you don't feel like it, pretty soon it will be automatic, and it could be the one thing that someone else really needed to see that day.

5. A College Degree Doesn't Automatically Make You Smart.
There are a lot of people my age that don't have college degrees. There are a lot of employers who won't hire us because of it.

However, there are a lot of college graduates that don't know the things that we do, because they haven't lived them, like we have. They may not know what it is like to be at the bottom of the barrel emotionally. Or how it makes someone feel just to have a pat on the back, or a touch on the arm, or a smile.

Life skills come with practice- not from reading a book or taking a test. Life itself is the test.

And Finally:

One of my supervisors told me "When You Feel Your Worst, Look Your Best". I have carried that principle with me many years now, and I can tell you from experience- IT WORKS.

(PS- she was the same person who offered the wig on "Bad Hair Day", - I have since forgiven her).

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Rox Sailors is the Owner of Simply Romantics, Grandma Roxie's Simple Things and the women's newsletter/forum- Secret Sister Society. She is the Editor and writer for "Simply Romantic Antics" and has written numerous articles and is currently working on her first book.Please stop by one of her sites to say "hi"-www.grandmaroxie.comwww.simplyromantics.comwww.secretsistersociety.com

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