Aiding Angry Allies, self help article by Ruth Marlene Friesen
Happiness and wellbeing personal development article about self help, anger management, love and relationship help, happiness, personal development, self growth. size=1>
You may have seen this in the Bible;
“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered…”
Fairly obvious advice, since we all know that anangry person can become violent and hurt us.
Wehave learned over the last decade or two that anabuser or criminal has often a submerged anger.
But how many of us can recognize latent or hidden anger in an individual? Is it possible to spot the signs and avoid becoming too close to an angry friend?
Lets skip backwards, spin around three times and see if we don’t land back at the beginning whereanyone first picks up a deep, unresolved anger.
Isn’t it when someone disappoints us so hard, or doesn’t measure up to promises or expectation,that we get that first gash to our spirit?
If ithappened to us as a child, we somehow don’t sensepermission to get angry over our disappointment, so we submerge it.
Or we may be old enough to reason why the promise really wasn’t coming to us, or the other person had every right to hurt us.
But that gash has been made, It doesn’t follow that reasoning.
Untreated, it festers and grows maggots.
Time passes, we grow older and we go on to otherthings.
That gash eventually grows a scab over it.However, it is forever touchy, and if anything oranyone resembling the original weapon which axedit comes near, all our spiritual nerves tingle, ready to take flight or to fight.
Those people who turn into physical hulks, or are confident in some other aspect of life, are likely to fight.
It is the old wound lashing back, and we call it an angry outburst.
Those who wilt and turn inward usually punish themselves, whether or not anyone else suffers.
Let’s spin ourselves three times and skip-to-my-Lou forwards. Even if we understand how the angry person got angry, is it wise to form a partnership or marriage with such a one?
That person needs help, but isn’t going to take it from you, and for sure not until she or he wants to look at the ugly sore again.
So don’t date, don’t marry, don’t even get closeto an angry person unless you are a glutton forpain, or else you have the strength to wrestlean angry animal down until it’s healed.
What it takes to heal an old wound is;
1. a good close, curious look at it,
2. confront the person who caused it originally,and express the hurt, the pain suffered,
3. whether the Cause repents or not, the woundeemust forgive, set aside that event by giving it to God to redeem, and believe that good will nowcome out of it.
But old habits of quickly lashing out or self-beating will die hard, and if you are the friend that is going to stick it out for a woundee’s sake, don’t expect to coast just yet.
Brace yourself. You’ll get scratched and woundedtoo, but if you are braced and remember to deal with each wound while fresh, you are a strong andnoble character, and God called you a BlessedPeacemaker.
May your tribe increase!
(Proverbs 22:14 NIV).
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Ruth Marlene Friesen makes friends wherever she goesjust like her heroine, Ruthe, in Ruthe’s Secret Roses,http://Ruthes-SecretRoses.com/RSR.html Her friends become her rare roses! http://Ruthes-SecretRoses.com Subscribe to RoseBouquet, her biweekly ezine for more.http://Ruthes-SecretRoses.com/RoseBouquet/index.html
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