Self Help for Making Healthy Relationships Possible

by Helene Malmsio

All too often we cannot be happy ourselves unless the closest people around us are happy too. And many people find it impossible to be happy if they are on their own, as they feel 'alone' then.

These self help steps will give you some direction toward developing healthy relationships with the people you care about most in your life.

If you wonder why friendships tend to have a 'used by:' date around you, then this might give you some self help guidance to improve them for longer lasting relationships.

Life is one great big workout. We strive to keep a balance on the things that are in it and often find ourselves burned out. We often have to juggle our time between our personal needs and the demands of our career that we sometimes find ourselves breathless, as if we had to focus all our energies into fulfilling all our duties.

The 24 hours that are allotted to us each day is just not enough. We encounter problems and try to take every single setback with a grain of salt. The truth, however, is that life is what we make of it.

Part of life's experience is that we encounter relationships that sour over time. Let this be a learning experience. In the end, there are just some things we cannot control, things that are out of our hands. For relationships to remain healthy, we need to look at ourselves first.

We must evaluate our actions and see what caused the problem in the first place. We can start by evaluating ourselves before implementing the changes from within. We cannot control the actions of other people. So instead of dwelling on what we cannot be in command of, we have to work on what we can change. It's imperative for all of us to know the things that will enable us to become a friend, a colleague, and a partner that we want to become.

The first thing to assess is our worth and the value we have as a person. Are we the kind of friend to go the extra mile? Are we good confidants? Do we take our friends' needs into consideration? These are only a few of the many questions we can ask ourselves. When the answer always leads to the negative, then maybe it's high time that we think of our nature.

The next thing to do is measure our level of commitment. Oftentimes, we don't equate the longevity of our relationships with the kind of person we are. Of course, every situation is unique. We meet people along the way, and not many of them make ideal friends. The thing is, we have to know the cause for the breakdown of every bond we've created.

Then, we also weigh these against the relationships that have actually worked. We must commit ourselves to every association we find beneficial. What gets us through life's rough patches are the people that we've helped. After all, no man is an island. We need support during the most difficult of times, and the only way to make this possible is to become a true friend to the people we have in our lives.

When all is said and done, we should know and realize that we are good people. We deserve these friendships because we don't expect anything from them in return. People are naturally inclined to show kindness to those who are genuine with their deeds. As long as we stay true to ourselves, we can also say that we are comfortable with whom we are. It's when we are happy that we create ideal relationships.