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“Dealing with Back Chat from your child”
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You hear your sweet innocent preschooler backchat someone, using unkind remarks.
Although you are in total shock it also makes you realize that your little one is able to imitate words (good and not so good) and forms power in his world.
Just like other types of verbal communication, backchat can only come from being exposed to it; this then allows children to pick up on it, and without fail to repeat any unpleasant type of words.
Restrict loose little ears from hearing anything that you don’t want him to mimic, and to later use it in backchat.
Keep a good eye on television programs, control movie choices, your own speech manner, and that of others.
A Start To Prevent The Problem:
Making a start, speak to your child in the same way you expect your child to speak to you.
Teach your child to use well-mannered words like “Thank you,” “Excuse me,” “Please,” “May I,” “I’m sorry,” and any other polite expressions you would like your child to be using.
Simply have your child aware of these words and to practice using them, and with your influence by reminding him on how to use them.
For instance, your child asks for a drink “May I” have a drink, on receiving his drink you may need to remind him to say “Thank you.”
Choose What Represents Backchat…
To be fair to your child’s on going verbal performances, you need to decide weather your child is actually using back-chat or if its another form of verbal behavior.
If sarcasm, name-calling, shouting unkind remarks or answers and willful disobedience are back- chat.
Simple refusals from your child like “ I don’t want to” are droning and repetitive.
Queries such as “Do I have to?” is more an expression of showing feelings in communication. Make certain your child comprehends exactly what you mean by back-chat.
Keep An Eye On TV Viewing & The Power Of Your Own Speech.
Put limits on your own talk while in the company of your child to minimize the exposure of back-chat. Pre warn friends, and family members of what your plans are concerning back-chat.
The Television screen is also a large influence at a tender age. What is heard is often repeated.
Solving The Problem…
Children often find offensive language quite funny but still powerful when used in the right way. You will find children use these words but rarely know their full meaning.
If your child comes out with an inappropriate word, say to your child, “I’m sorry you choose to use those type of words but now I want you to repeat that word until the timer rings.
For example set the timer, if your child is six then set it for six minutes. Repeating the word will eventually take the power from it, after the word has been worn out, it is less likely to be used in the heat of the moment.
Ignorance Is The Key…
If a child knows they can’t invoke you with back-chat they are less likely to do it. Ignoring it as much as possible takes all the fun and power from this practice.
Credit Where It’s Due….
When you hear your child talking nicely to you or others, you must reassure him how much better is to hear him speaking this way.
The Don’ts….
If you have spoken to your child recently about using back-chat towards you and others and your child still presents the same behavior, don’t get involved in a power struggle, tell them firmly and ignore the invitation opening.
There are plenty of diversionary tactics that can be taken at this stage.
Article contributed by Theresea Hughes, creator of
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