“DISCIPLINE THAT WORKS – on most occasions …”
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Many parents with a newborn manage to survive the first year moderately well, but when the demanding, obstinate, self-centered, uncooperative toddler comes out of the woodwork, leaving some parents in shock and to wonder why this behavior is present.
As their own discipline techniques are of very little effect, they turn to other sources for their free and supportive advice either from close relatives or the ready to lend a hand armchair theorist, on dealing with for this unexpected manner.
Some experts in the field of child discipline dispute the necessity of any type of discipline, as its believed that the model parents have the power to have an effect on their children by their own polished rules to be followed and that discipline is really not necessary.
If you are among the very lucky small number of parents who have experienced the pleasurable reward with the trouble free child, this then may be totally correct.
But for parents like you and I, however, discipline is very much required on a daily basics. The way we choose to go about it must be carefully considered.
As much as we sound like a broken record enforcing our discipline rules, young children oddly enough feel so much more secure when they live in surroundings that present solid ground and understand the limits.
There are many reasons why good discipline is worth the effort, not only will your child be happier, but it also administers a healthy base to help them cope with future limits and restrictions that are experience in their schooling and life I general.
For the children who have little knowledge of discipline previous to entering school, find it difficult to change in and instant, therefore making it hard on them to fit into the start of their school years.
As far as discipline goes between home and school, if your children are strong enough to take the change in their stride then great, but many don’t cope so well. It’s likely you will find with the children not copping to good that the difference between the two; to be so great they refuse school entirely.
There is no doubt in the benefits of discipline for our children, as they’re many rules to live by. What’s disturbing is how some parents display their own stupidity by how they see it should be done.
Things like overhearing a mother tending to her crying youngster saying, “if you don’t stop crying, I’m going to slap you.”
Here are a few less painful tactics, which are highly recommended, many of the methods we grew up with have been tossed away and replaced with more effective and sedate ones. With some persistence and patients, these will teach your child sensitivity and the correct behavior.
By taking particular notice of the good behavior, and verbally let your child know how pleased it makes you feel to see him using better behavior, for example, when your child is at the dinner table and he is sitting nicely and using his manners, let him know by saying “my goodness you have lovely manners, its so nice to see them.”
This gives the fact that you’re praising the use of his manners, which gives the manners a high value.
If you say “Good Boy using your manners,” you are actually telling your son he is only a good boy when he is using his manners, which in effect is connecting your child’s worth to the particular behavior being displayed.
Doing this will most likely confuse your child, it is the behavior we want to change not your child’s values.
Beat The Timer…
Children are normally excited at the suggestion of a race or some form of competition.
Not only does it make it a bit of fun, but also quite motivational to complete a set requirement faster than last time and if so, give a small reward.
A little fun and the jobs are done, without even engaging in a battle.
This method helps resolve the conflict between parents and children also; it places the authority in the hands of the timer, who is a neutral party, and certainly wont listen when the timer wins.
This process should be short, sharp and defined, with using only three simple steeps.
1. The Command.
2. The Reason this Behavior Should Stop.
3. Provide Another Example Of Behavior That Is Acceptable.
We need to explain clearly to our children exactly what is required of them as far as their behavior is concerned.
The same should be done with the consequences.
It has been proven that children with clearly understood boundaries behave better and are far more cooperative when they know where they stand, also knowing there will be consequences for inappropriate behavior.
Time out is primary designed as a cooling off period, or for undesirable behavior.
Time out is generally taking your child out of or away from a situation and placing them in their room or where ever you have designated and left there for a set amount of time with the closed, but not locked.
The best way is to set a timer and walk away, if they stray from the time out area, reset the timer and send them back.
The benefit of time out is the separation from a situation and time to think of the behavior being used before time out began.
Article contributed by Theresea Hughes, creator of
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