“12 Commandments For Parents”
self help books and personal development article about parents

In a child’s education an important factor is the parents’ expertise for this “job”.

No one is born holding all the knowledge, but we can learn and understand some things from books or advice from qualified persons.

Amongst the commandments a parent should strictly follow are the following:

1. Do not underestimate your child – he can understand more than you think he does and if you make him believe you think poorly of him this might affect his development.

2. Don’t use threat – a child loves a challenge and once threatened he might probably go on and do what he wasn’t suppose to just to see if he can escape the punishment.

3. Do not bribe your child – if you are trying to get him to learn for money for example, he will fail to understand the importance of learning, all he will get from this is the importance of money.

4. Do not make a small child promise something – small children can’t hold promises so don’t force them to lie and then punish them because they did that.

5. Do not keep them under a short leash – to grow up normally children need some space, some freedom.

6. Do not use big words or too many words when you are talking to your child – keep your ideas simple and concise so he can understand every thing you have to say.

7. Do not expect an immediate and blind obedience – it is not recommended, the child has to be learned to think for his own not to follow orders.

8. Do not indulge him too mush – he can develop compartmental disorders.

9. Do not compromise when it comes to the rules of a game – the trick for a game to become educative is too have its initial rules respected.

10. Don’t impose rules that don’t go with the age of your child.

11. Do not try to inflict quilt – quilt is not an appropriate feeling for children, especially if they are little.

12. Don’t give your child orders that you don’t take seriously – your child will try to please you and giving him an order is drastic, and it becomes cruel if that order is a joke.

All these “commandments” are addressed first to the parent. But they are to be referred to by teachers and educators as well.

Along with the parents, they will settle upon an attitude and strategy for the education and growth of the child, so that they can give him all the things he needs to properly develop emotional and physically.

Don't Feel Guilty If Being a Mom Stresses You Out

Stress is common to all of us. Unfortunately, everyone feels the effects of stress due to simply living in this fast-paced and challenging world. As a mother, stress sometimes comes from the thing that you feel should be the happiest and most fulfilling part of your life – your kids.

But the fact is that being a mom is sometimes stressful so don’t feel guilty about it. The stresses of motherhood come from the constant care that children require, caring for little ones when they are ill, and sleepless nights when your baby wants to play at 2 AM rather than rest.

Running kids to sports practices, doctor appointments and classes, and sometimes just dealing with your child’s moods and demands can cause you stress and even resentment. This happens to all moms, and it’s normal that you will feel stress over it.

It’s also normal that you may feel guilty about feeling stressed and resentful. Kids are a huge responsibility, and even though you love them and wouldn’t trade them for anything, they can stress you out.

Sometimes you might feel that you just want to escape from it all, and actually, if your duties as a mom are getting to you, that may not be a bad idea. You can’t jump the next plane for South America and never come back, but getting away for an afternoon on a regular basis can do a world of good for you and your kids.

Let grandma or grandpa sit with the children, or trade babysitting duties with a trusted friend. Get out of the house and do something you really enjoy, whether it’s a quiet afternoon walk in the park, or lunch and a movie with your best friend.

Make sure you also get away once in a while with your husband for a date night. Put on a nice dress or outfit, fix your hair and makeup and go out for a quiet dinner, or a concert, or a double date with friends that you haven’t seen in a while.

It’s okay to get away now and then, and it will give you a chance to re-identify with yourself, your friends and your partner. You should also make time each day for yourself – even if it’s just ten or fifteen minutes.

If you feel guilty about feeling stressed out at your mom duties, or if you feel guilty about spending time away or on yourself, take time to work your way through that. Guilt feelings aren’t productive and they won’t help you to be a better mother.

The guilt may come from the way you were raised – you might have had a mom that completely devoted herself at all times to her kids and you feel as if you are failing if you don’t do that or feel resentful for having to do that.

Sometimes guilt comes from people that we compare ourselves to such as friends, neighbors or even television characters. Don’t do this to yourself. Only you know how to deal with your own family and self in a way that will keep you healthy and happy.

You need to be healthy and happy in order to be a great mom. If you are really having problems with guilt feelings, you may want to work through them with a counselor or other professional.

When you become a mother, your kids become the first priority in your life, and that’s as it should be. However, you still need balance. You need time alone, and you need to take care of yourself.

Don’t let guilt overshadow the joy you have in life with your family and all of the other things that makes your life worthwhile to you.

Teaching Your Kids to Be Good People

Part of being a good parent is teaching your kids to be good people, and the best way to do this is be setting an example. When your kids see that you are doing the things that “good people” do, they will automatically catch on.

You don’t have to be Super Woman, or Mother Teresa, you just have to practice responsibility, kindness, compassion and caring. Depending on your own beliefs about what it means to be good, and perhaps the influence of your faith, being a good person might not be exactly the same for you as it is for someone else.

Nevertheless, if you want your kids to be good people, you are going to be the first and main teacher for them. Here are some ways that you can set an example for your children:

• Teach your kids about gratefulness. While your family may not have everything as far as material possessions go, you probably have lots to be grateful for. It’s important to show kids that while life can sometimes be worrisome or disappointing, there are still many good things to be happy about.

You can take the lead by expressing happiness about all the good things you have and avoiding too much complaining about what you don’t have.

• Teach your kids about responsibility. As adults, we have to be responsible for a number of things. If we don’t take responsibility, we can suffer some fairly uncomfortable consequences, like penalties for not paying bills on time, or the consequences of not showing up for work on time.

You can do your best to set a proper example, and talk to your kids about what it means to be responsible. As they get older, you can give them tasks to be responsible and consequences for choosing to be responsible.

• Teach your kids about kindness. Being kind involves feeling empathy for others, or putting oneself in someone else’s shoes. It means reaching out to others with a smile or a friendly word.

• If you are part of a spiritual community, take your child to services. Even though each religion has its differences, the basis for all of the world’s religions is to treat others as we would like to be treated. Learning this simple, yet powerful concept is part of the foundation of being a good person.

• Treat others with respect. You’re children will learn that treating each other with respect is an important element of being a good person when the see you doing it.

• Be compassionate and caring. Show your children that compassion for others is easy to show and makes a real difference in the world.

You can participate in a charity as a family by contributing to food banks, visiting nursing homes, even helping with park clean ups (compassion and caring for the earth). You can offer to help an elderly or disabled neighbor plant some flowers, or take a batch of cookies or a homemade casserole to someone who is recovering from an illness.

The most important thing about teaching a child to be a good person is to set the example and do it without resentment, but will a spirit of love for yourself, your family, your community and the earth. Your kids will see this example and follow it.

===

Contributed by Helene Malmsio, a successful business entrepreneur for nearly 30 years and has been operating Strategic Services group of Companies since 1987.

With over 30 years of personal and professional development, Helene has produced a powerful self help website with over 150 FREE SELF HELP BOOKS and 1000 free personal development guides for your greater Happiness, Health and Prosperity at
http://personal-enterprise-self-help-resources.com

Article reprint requirements:
. You may reprint this article, electronically in free-only publications in it's entirety in an Ezine, blog or web site.
. You may not use this article in Unsolicited Commercial Email.
. Whenever this article is used, it must include the authors byline with an active link back to our web site.

Back to Top of page

Back to Happiness self help books & articles HOME PAGE

======================================================

SITE DISCLAIMER: The self help books and personal development resources on this site are not intended to be a substitute for therapy or professional advice. While all attempts have been made to verify information provided in this self help book and personal development publication, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions or contrary interpretation of the self help books and personal development subject matter herein. There is no guarantee of validity of accuracy of any self help books and articles content. Any perceived slight of specific people or organizations is unintentional. This self help books and personal development articles website and its creators are not responsible for the content of any sites linked to.
======================================================

Back to Top of free self help books and personal development articles page