Dynamics of building self-esteem in children
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One of the main things that a person should have in order to become successful and to lead a long and happy life is to have a full trust in himself and his capabilities. Loving yourself enough to know your limitations and your strengths is one of the ingredients in leading a life of contentment.
There is really no sure answer as to how and where self-esteem springs from.
Some psychologists say that it is the function of the personality that has been acquired from both parents. Parents who have high self-esteem will most likely produce children who are also confident.
Some sectors however say that genetics does not play a role. Rather, it is the function of chance. Some people are just born to have high self-esteem while others are born with low ranges much like what happens with intelligence quotients.
Some psychologists however argue that most of the development of the self-esteem happens in the environment. Personal experience, parental practices, choice of friends and discovery of talents play a major role in determining just how much self-esteem a person will develop.
Personal experiences come in the form of bullying in school and social group interactions. Children who have experience much bullying in school will develop low self-esteem. The same goes with children who remain on the outside of the social group.
Parental practice and the example that they give can also play a large role in determining the development of the self-esteem. A person for instance who has parents who trusts him to make his own decisions, is not over-protective and treats him like an adult will most likely have high self-esteem compared to children who have parents who coddle him, those who are strict and those who see him so helpless like a child, incapable of making his own decision.
It is important then for parents to think about their parental behavior for they will greatly affect how their child will grow up.
The choice of friends and the social group that one belongs to can also cushion and develop the self-esteem. Becoming part of a group that embraces a persons individual traits and respects their own opinions will help develop the self-esteem.
This is rapid contrast to a social group that seeks to put down the person. Social groups can also cushion the person against the threats of outside forces that can destroy or lower the self-esteem.
Cliques can also play a role. Being part of the high school populars, for instance, can strengthens ones ego compared to being part of the group that is ostracized.
Having a talent or an ability that can stand out from the crowd is also another thing that can boost a persons self-esteem. If he can offer something that people will admire, his trust and confidence in himself will strengthen.
Affirmations, accolades and admirations are great ego boosts to people. This is perhaps why people who have achievements because of their own talents have higher self-esteem than others.
Still, having high self-esteem in one aspect of ones life does not mean that the high self-esteem will also apply in other sectors. For instance, a person can be ultra confident in ones school work but become a bumbling idiot when it comes to social interactions and emotional entanglements.
There are only a few people who can achieve the right balance of self-esteem in all aspects of life.
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Parents Should Be Able to Build Self Esteem In A Child
Being able to have children is a gift. Simply feeding and clothing is not enough because these are just some of the things that parents will be doing to help he or she grow up.
One of the most important jobs of parents is to be able to build self esteem in a child. This will allow the person to succeed in the future regardless of the career chosen.
Since children look up to the parents as role models, it is only best to start from the very top. Many of these people have to work for a living to put food on the table. When the topic of work comes around and the children are present, it is always best to think and say something positive so that the children will inherit the same attitude when it comes to school.
In the same manner, when parents help the children with the homework, it is perfectly all right to help do some of it to make the person understand and then let the kid work on the rest. This should be double check later on to ensure the rest of the assignment is correct which will surely pay off when the report card comes in.
Studies have shown that getting a child into sports can also help build self esteem. It wouldnt hurt to try something new such as soccer or basketball which are team sports that will foster teamwork and camaraderie.
If the child is not doing well compared to the others, perhaps it is time to buy a goal or a mini court and have this installed at home. Playing with the kids and having fun at the same time may be the extra practice that is needed in order for the player to do better in the game.
Not everyone is talented in sports. It is a good thing there are other skills the child can participate in to boost self esteem. There are music lessons using various instruments and art classes using paint, oil or charcoal. The child has to start somewhere and who knows, this could be the person's passion in the future.
There is another way to boost the child's self esteem. This involves doing something that has never been done before while spending some quality time. Father and son can go through a different bike trail in the woods or have mom and daughter bake a few goodies in the kitchen.
There is a chance the group could get lost or the things that come out in the oven are burned. The point is, the child will not know what will happen without trying and part of self confidence is being able to take a risk and becoming a better person no matter what happens in the end.
When this has been developed, this is the time that the child should be allowed to make some choices. Parents should be supportive regardless of the outcome but should always give words of caution and wisdom.
After all, there are risks worth taking and there are others that are not worth it. Knowing the difference between what is right or wrong and being able to understand and weigh the consequences is another important lesson in life.
Building Self Esteem in Children
The only way for children to succeed is by building up one's self esteem. Those who have this will be able to achieve a certain ambition later on in life, which is something that could only happen with the support of parents and the teachers that molded the child.
The first signs of this begin the moment the infant is born. It is the smile that the parents have after seeing the child for the first time, the first words ever spoken, the time the infant is able to stand and walk without any help.
Parents may not know it but even during this stage, the child understands the acknowledgement being given usually that could be through words or signs of affection. So, one of the most effective ways of building self esteem is by constantly praising the children.
Some experts believe there is a danger when the parent does this often. There are two reasons.
First, the child will get used to the attention being given after something has been done. Parents are just two of the billions of people on the planet and the person will soon figure out that the words of praise being does not mean that much to the rest of society.
Second, the young ones are not always correct. Some bad things will be done and unless parents do something about it, the child will not be able to know the difference between right and wrong.
Part of building that self esteem then should also have constructive criticism. This means talking to the child and explaining the things that were right and where it went wrong. There are always different ways to approach a certain challenge and looking back, perhaps there was a better way to do it.
There must also be a balance here because although the parent has good intentions in criticizing each move, this can further diminish the one's self confidence as the child feels attacked again and again.
Parents do both not to create the child into one's likeness as God did when man was developed but simply helping the person become a productive member of society that has rules and laws that everyone has to live by.
The third way to help build self esteem in children is in the parents. The actions being shown by the mom or dad also play a part in the child's development. Those who curse often will be surprised one day that the child will do the same.
Although watching movies and television have a role in making this happen, parents are there 24 hours a day 7 times a week which is a lot more time than a one or two hour show can ever do to a child.
Parents have to be the ones to set an example. If either mom or dad did not have strong sense of self worth as a child, the kids should not suffer the same fate. These people are aware of the mistakes before and will rather correct or prevent this from happening so this won't happen to the next generation.
It is never easy to bring out the best in a child. There will be trials ahead and those who succeed can be proud seeing the son or daughter graduate from high school or college and instill the same qualities when these people will also have children.
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