“Developing Self Esteem”
self help books and Building Self Esteem article

One of the important issues that parents need to address while their kids are growing up is how to develop their kids’ self-esteem. Self-esteem refers to the degree by which we respect and love ourselves for who we are.

Although it can be developed during any period of one’s life, the foundation of self-esteem is often built during the growing up years when the ego is still in the process of development.

Many scientists and experts in psychology believe that self-esteem is a matter of chance. There are babies who are born with high self-esteem and there are others who need further development.

Some even say that parents who have high self-esteem will most likely produce babies who also have high self-esteem.

But whether it is a matter of genes or personality lottery, no one can say for sure. Although there are evidences that point out to a genetic link, nothing has ever been proven yet.

We can actually develop our self-esteem anytime. But of course, having a good foundation of self-esteem when we are young will not hurt us in the long run.

The environment plays a large role in the development of one’s self-esteem. In fact, one’s experiences can increases or decrease the levels of our self-esteem.

There are actually a lot of factors that may affect the development of self-esteem and thereby result in low self-esteem. Parental practice, for one, is a major factor especially to the growing child. How our parents treat us will determine how we treat ourselves when we grow up and how we let other people treat us.

Another factor is the social group experiences that we encounter in our lifetime. Positive experiences for instance will increase our levels as opposed to negative and traumatic experiences, which bring about low self-esteem.

The friends that we choose is another factor that will affect the kind of self-esteem that we have. Friends who nurture and are great influence to us will help us develop and increase our low self-esteem while those who seek to put us down will only contribute to our downfall.

This is why it is important to also choose the group that we will go with as they can determine the kind of self-esteem that we will develop while we are with them.

Surrounding ourselves with people who affirm our talents and capabilities, people who believe in us, increases our self-confidence.

And when we trust ourselves enough to do our work well, we actually do the work well. This leads to positive cycle that will increase our self-esteem to high levels.

Another factor that builds the self-esteem is the kind of activities that we enjoy and the things that we do. For instance, being stuck with a college course that we do not like can do bad things for our self-esteem as opposed to being enrolled in a course that we enjoy and is interested in.

Being able to do the things that we love can help in building our self-esteem. When we love what we do, we become enthusiastic and we do our best. This leads to remarkable achievements and accomplishments, which will then increase our self-esteem.

Self Esteem Determines Who We Are

Taking actions are very important. Actions are the ones who move us closer to our dreams. If you have dreams and goals in life and you realize that you are not moving towards them then maybe you are not taking any action s or you are taking the wrong ones.

What most people are not aware of is that thoughts and actions are linked. Having positive thoughts leads to positive actions in the same way that negative thoughts can lead to inaction or negative actions.

Achieving your goals and making your dreams come true naturally takes time. And the thing that can give you the proper drive or push is high self-esteem. High self-esteem can provide you the determination and personal power needed for you to take actions towards the achievements of your goals.

Consequently, low-self esteem is one of biggest blocks to a person's success. Why? Because when a person has low self-esteem it is more difficult for him or her to perform the right actions to achieve their goals.

Simply put, self-esteem refers to how a person looks at one self. If one looks at him or herself in appositive way then he or she has high self-esteem. On the other had, if a person ha a negative view of him or herself in including his or her abilities, then he or she definitely has low self-esteem.

One of the things that lower self esteem is criticism. The worst kind of criticisms is the one that comes from you. When you always criticize yourself it can lead to having feelings of self doubt.

If there is one greatest killer of dreams known to man it is a negative thought. Nothing can be more destructive. Do not tell yourself that "I can't." or "that's impossible." Instead, believe that anything is possible and that you can achieve anything.

So how do you build self-esteem? Since thoughts are the roots of feelings and actions then you must always make sure that your thoughts are positive and beneficial. Instead of focusing on your failures and mistakes, why don't you take notice of your achievements?

This is not vanity. It is simply recognizing the things that you have done in the past and acknowledging your abilities.

Everyone has his or her own share of accomplishments ion life. The best thing that you can do is to get a piece of paper and list down your accomplishments for the last years. Remember all the challenges that you were able to hurdle and the obstacles you have been able to overcome.

You will be surprised to know that you have achieved many things in your life already. In moments of great doubt, you can always refer back to this list and remember your accomplishments. You can continue to add to this list as you achieve more in life.

Always remember that there is a strong connection between self-esteem and success, so do anything that you can to improve the quality of your thoughts for it determines your future success.

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