“How to manage your fears”
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Imagine discovering a way to get rid of your fears in a
quick and painless manner. In fact it can even become fun!
Did you know only two of all the fears you have are innate:
The fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.
Most of
your fears were learned in early childhood and then in later
life under stressful conditions.
Traditional therapeutic approaches would probably have you
trying to figure out where your fear originally came from.
Maybe they'd have you digging around in your childhood
memories, recalling times you ate the next-door neighbours
purple Tulips.
This type of approach tends to associate the
client into reliving unpleasantness and can take a long time
to achieve useful results.
Personally I think this style is
way out of date and bordering on torture.
You'll probably be glad to know we're not going to be doing
anything like that. The truth is you can easily and quickly
undo the learnings that created specific fears and change
your responses to something much more useful.
So just how do fearful feelings occur then? Well lets use a
common example: Fred wants a raise and he's been wanting to
ask his boss for months. Finally he decides to go and ask. BUT when he starts the walk down the corridor he starts to feel certain sensations in his body. Weird stomach feelings. His breathing is constricted.
Slight sweating on parts of his body. His vision is effected. Fred decides to turn back and then sits down feeling slightly annoyed with himself.
His body started producing 'fear chemicals.' What happened?
"Well it was because he defied his Dad one time when he was
four. Let's explore those forgotten memories...."
NO! NO! NO! Let's do something much smarter and definitely
more fun.
Hey Fred come over here I want to show you something really
cool! O' come on, pick your lip up.
You know how before you got up to go and ask the boss for a
raise, you felt OK right? So between the time you got up and
started walking something happened.
Something triggered
those feelings in you. Here's a fact for you: You either
made a picture in your head or talked to yourself in a way
that created those fearful sensations and that happened at
an unconscious level out of your awareness.
"OK Colin that might be true but so what, what's your
point?"
Well the point is by changing the internal sounds, pictures
and voices in your head you can begin to gain control of
your emotions.
"Fair enough but how can I do that so when I'm in a similar
situation I automatically make useful pictures, sounds and
voices in my head so I remain in a resourceful state?"
Good question, here's just one way you can achieve the
results you want using a simple and powerful tool from the
field of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)
=== Soothing Movie Music ===
1.Think of a situation where you feel fear.
2.Dissociate: See yourself in the situation like you would a
movie with you in it.
3.Imagine running the memory from the END of the fearful
situation, BACKWARDS to the START. Do this very fast in less
then 1 second!
4.Think of some music that makes you feel the opposite of
fear. For example soothing classical music makes you feel
relaxed. Perhaps certain rock or dance music makes you feel
energised/courageous etc.
5.Now hear the music, nice and loud, inside your mind whilst
looking at yourself going through the situation from START
to END.
6.Break state. Now think of the situation you choose in Step
1 and notice how your fearful feelings have diminished.
7.What will you see or hear just before you want this new
feeling to set in?
Colin G Smith is a licensed Master Practitioner of Neuro- Linguistic Programming (NLP) and author of 'The NLP ToolBox', a personal development book that enables the reader to master any area of their life with amazing speed. Complete information on Colin G Smith's books are available at his website, including a FREE personal development eBook.
www.NLPToolBox.com
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