HAPPINESS self help books & articles RESOURCES DIRECTORY 1

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Motivate, educate and empower yourself with our free self help Personal Development resources, articles and downloads.

These “general use” HAPPINESS self help resources listed below are available for you to use right now

If you want resources that relate to a specific category issue, go to the Navbar for your current life stage and lifestyle and select resources from that section.


FEEL HAPPY! Achieving BALANCED EMOTIONS for genuine and lasting happiness. These resources will help you to maintain a positive attitude and state of wellbeing.

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Individuals in pain or confusion often ask, “What have I done wrong?” Many years ago, I stepped into a trap by answering this question when a client asked me. Now I know that all that is wrong is the question!

The question, “What have I done wrong?” returns disempowering responses. Even answering “Nothing” is unsatisfactory. If you are tempted to ask this question, stop and ask another. If someone asks you this question, you can help the person more by suggesting an empowering question rather than answering this disempowering one. Alternative questions lead to more useful insights.

The question “What is the question?” is often the perfect question! Alternatives are, “What is the most empowering questions I can ask right now?” “What question can I ask to move us (me) when we (I) desire to be?”


Here are empowering questions you can ask when you find yourself in a mess. Or vary the questions to assist others in asking for more meaningful information:

What can I learn from this? How have I benefitted from this so far? Who else has benefitted from this? What conditions allowed this situation?

And then:

Am I ready for a different situation? What do I want to bring into my life? What can I do now to change this?

Such questions as these are far more uplifting and encouraging than “Who did what?” Or, “How did I get into this mess?” Or, “Why did this happen?” Of course, there may be times we must also ask and answer questions such as these, but they tend to blame rather than empower. It is helpful to distinguish between empowering and disempowering questions.

click on link HA80 Asking Empowering Questions to read the rest of this self help resources article:


What’s life about? Being happy, of course!

HA42 Dealing with Emotional Pain, self help article by RE Najemy

HA101 Stress Eliminating self help Affirmations by RE Najemy

HA31 Hocus Pocus – Magic Does Exist by Nisandeh Neta

HA6 Create Happiness with a Positive Life Outlook by Robert Elias Najemy

HA66 Facing the Enemies Within, self help article by Jim Rohn

HA80 Asking Empowering Questions self help article by Jeanie Marshall

HA28 One Thought at a Time by Jeanie Marshall

HA509 Happiness tips for Couples

HA92 Say Goodbye to Struggle by Jeanie Marshall

HA83 The New Epidemic: Anxiety, Panic & Depression by E Bohorquez RN

HA8 Focus of our Attention, self help article by Jeanie Marshall

HA22 What you See is What you Get by Lee Wise

More “Feel Happy” self help resources


Be FLEXIBLE, Don’t be a Perfectionist and do try to be Adaptable in your expectations of yourself and events around you. Our expectations can be so inflexible that even one small event can ruin the day for you. By maintaining an openness to changes in your plans and having back up strategies you will feel great every day.


Any day we wish; we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish; we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish; we can start a new activity.

Any day we wish; we can start the process of life change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year.

We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are.

We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence.

The choices are ours to make. But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause. As Shakespeare uniquely observed, “The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves.” We created our circumstances by our past choices.

We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today. Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions.

They need the truth. They need the whole truth. And they need nothing but the truth.

We cannot allow our errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead us down the wrong path. We must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how our life works out.

click on link HA74 Change Begins With Choice by Jim Rohn to read the rest of this article.


HA108 (Dealing with) Disappointment – Disillusionment – Discouragement by RE Najemy

HA74 Change Begins With Choice, self help article by Jim Rohn

HA67 I’ll Go Anywhere As Long As It’s Forward by Robert Warlow

HA77 Doing the Remarkable by Jim Rohn

HA81 It’s OK to be Selfish once in a While! by Jeanie Herrin

HA16 The Folly of Problem Solving, by Tom Horn

HA17 The Fate of Public Enemy #1 by Tom Horn

HA25 Truths Which Aid Forgiveness, by Robert elias Najemy

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Have better RELATIONSHIPS with family and friends that will support you in positive ways. Mother or Mother-in-law problems? Your Partner not as supportive of you as you need? Friends bringing grief into your life?

Here are some self help strategies to bring warmth, love and respect into your relationships.


When we do not get what we want from our relationships, we often feel hurt, abused, rejected, disappointed, bitter and angry.

We then have a choice to remain in our negativity or seek to use this as an opportunity for learning more about ourselves and contacting a deeper source of security, self-worth, inner fulfillment and love within ourselves.

Below are some examples of behaviors, which might bother us and thus contain some possible lessons for us.

The use of any gender is arbitrary and could be otherwise.

a. When she criticizes me.
b. When he does not respond to my request or needs.
c. When she asks me many questions.
d. When he shouts and accuses.
e. When she plays the role of victim and cries.
f. When she blames me for what has happened.
g. When he ignores me.
h. When he doesnt listen to me.
i. When he looks at other women.
j. When she is not conscientious about our agreements or responsibilities.
k. When he does not agree with me.
l. When he does not pay attention to me when I talk.
m. When she is late for our appointment.
n. When he doesnt help out with the cleanliness.
o. When he tells lies.
p. When they ignore my needs.
q. When they gossips.
r. When he does not tell me what he is feeling.
s. When she complains too much.
t. When he thinks he knows it all and does not listen to my point of view.
u. When she gives me advice I have not asked for.
v. When he threatens me that he will leave.
w. When he does not take care of himself or does not do his share.
x. When the other is weak and dependent.
z. Other_______________________

What is the Lesson?

We seek happiness, security, affirmation, love and fulfillment in our relationships. When these needs are not satisfied, the ultimate question is “what is my lesson here?” “How can I recreate my happiness, love and peace?”

The key to discovering what we need to learn is the faith that everything that happens to us is a result of processes called mirroring, sympathetic attunement, resonance or projection.

Our beliefs, emotions, expectations, fears and behaviors are mirroring, reflecting, projecting or resonating in our external world attracting the behaviors and events which we experience.

Those events, behaviors or situations that cause us to feel unpleasant feelings are specifically mirroring parts of ourselves which are ripe and ready to be transformed.

click on HA88 Relationships & Life’s Lessons to continue this article.

HA68 Basics of Healthy Relationships, self help article by Jim Rohn

HA88 Relationships & Life’s Lessons by Robert Elias Najemy

HA65 Supportive Friendships

HA90 Dream Girl Nightmares, Why Good Girls Love Bad Boys by L Daily

HA89 Choose a Life Mate, Not a Soul Mate, self help article by Vered Neta

HA4 Jealousy, self help article by Robert Najemy

HA1 Soul Mate – A pain in the Neck by Nisandeh Neta

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Your SELF IMAGE shapes the way you feel about yourself and what you expect from your life and the people around you. You do deserve the best that life has to offer you, so why not develop a genuine expectation that life will always be abundant, supportive, fun and joyful?


1. Give yourself positive, encouraging statements. Repeat them constantly and your mind will act on them. Work at feeling good about yourself and become more self-reliant. YOU are a capable person! Don’t allow those inner voices to convince you otherwise.

2. Build your confidence by picturing yourself accomplishing something, you have always wanted to do. Close your eyes and see every detail of how you would behave, how you feel about achieving it and how others respond to it. Now put it into action and when you achieve it you will feel elated.

3. Keep a journal. Write down your feelings and thoughts about situations and determine how you could make them better by looking at them in a different way. You will learn more about yourself and how you react to certain situations so you can stop and turn them around.

4. Be optimistic. When you catch yourself being a pessimist STOP! Think about all the good points that can be made about the situation and realize that any situation can be turned around easily to a positive one if your willing to try.

5. Establish goals based on what you can realistically achieve. Take it one step at a time and encounter any problems as a learning experience and keep on going until you reach it. Perfectionism is not necessary and invites stress and failure. Avoid it!

6. Rely on your own opinions of yourself and not what others think. Base your life goals on your values and not those of others. You are the only person who can say what is right for you!

7. Lighten-up, don’t take things so seriously or personally. Try to see the humor in everything. Your perspective will completely change if you look at things from a serious and humorous point of view.

8. Kick out your inner critic. When you notice you are having doubts or judging yourself, STOP! Tell yourself, I can do it! I am a good person and I can do anything I put my mind to. You have the power to control your inner critic, don’t allow it to control you.

Click on HA86 Ten Ways to Boost Your Self Esteem below to continue article.

HA43 Do You Feel Worthy? self help self esteem article by DG Wix

HA52 Self Suppression by RE Najemy

HA62 Attitude is Everything, self help self esteem article by Jim Rohn

HA54 Speaking from the Heart by Lee Wise

HA10 The Power of Perception by Joan Marques

HA86 Ten Ways to Boost Your Self Esteem by Tracie Johansen

HA26 The Power Within Us by Robert Elias Najemy

HA79 Accepting Ourselves & Others by Robert Elias Najemy

HA76 Discipline, self help quotes by Jim Rohn

HA75 Communication and Persuasion, self help Quotes by
Jim Rohn

HA69 Three Keys to Making Small Talk Easy to Do, self help article by Peter Murphy


Your APPEARANCE and PRESENTATION says so much about you and your expectations, both to the people around you and to yourself when you look in the mirror every day. If you ever look in the mirror and ask yourself “who is this person?” you need to check out some of these self help strategies.


How many mornings did you get up, looking in the mirror and thinking, “Oh boy, how can I present myself to the world looking like that? How can I ever be successful if this is what I am?”

And how many mornings did you get up, looking in the mirror and thinking, “Today is the day! I can feel it in my bones, in my toes, in my fingertips. I’ll sweep them of their feet!”

Do you recall what in both cases the day looked like? On mornings like the ones described first, you could actually just go back to bed and sleep the day away, because whatever it was that surrounded you, was negative and wouldn’t help you to reach your goal at all. On mornings like the second, you could just not go wrong. Your smile, your touch, your complete presentation charmed each and everyone around you!

What was the difference? No, not a new, expensive dress or suit you recently bought. And not a recent visit to the beautician. Not the new pair of shoes and not the weight you just lost. In fact it may have been a day on which you just dressed in something you had been wearing many times before, gained some extra pounds, and had a pimple on your nose. But it was your perception that made the difference! The way you looked at yourself. Your understanding of who you are. Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary defines perception as: [the] ability to see, hear or understand, or [the] quality understanding, or [one’s] way of seeing or understanding something (Hornby, 1989). Fieser & Dowden (2001) elucidate that “[I]n philosophy, “perception” is defined as the complex method of obtaining information about our surrounding world, specifically through our senses, and apprehending this information as beliefs “. (par.1) According to Fieser & Dowden’s (2001) explanation, “The main philosophical problem with this notion of perception is that we should not accept our perceptions as being reliable, since (1) it is possible for us to misperceive objects in the world, (2) our senses are susceptible to illusions (e.g. hallucinations), and (3) it is unclear how much epistemological value perceptions have, or how much belief, if any, should be rooted in that which we perceive.” (par.1) The philosophical definition of perception becomes even more interesting if we consider that there is a “common-sense or direct realist theory [which] maintains that the world is as it is perceived, [thereby assuming] that there is a world with objects that exists independently of human perceptions.” Fieser & Dowden (2001)

click on HA10 The Power of Perception on the link ABOVE this excerpt to read the rest of this “self help for your happiness” article.

HA9 Ten Easy Steps to Organize your Clothes Closet by Theresa Frasch

HA508 Presentation tips for Couples

HA41 Beauty by the Numbers or Facts on Figures

HA64 Glamour is More Than Skin Deep by Grace Hanneken

More “Self Image & Personal Presentation” self help resources…..


Develop a SENSE OF PURPOSE to your life for greater passion, joy of achievement, and contribution. Remember the last time you woke up and just jumped out of bed, rushing toward the day ahead with an attitude of anticipation and excitement? You may not feel like that EVERY single day, but these self help strategies will help to bring you more than you have been getting lately.

Below are many more self help resources and self help articles to give your day that extra boost!


Take Charge of Your Life, self help article by Wendy Joffe

Each of us has incarnated to play a specific role. When we find our special role and play it with love, we experience contentment and happiness. When we lose contact with our life purpose, or do not have the courage to live it, we experience discontent and sometimes depression.


In some cases, we may need to make choices between the following:

a. Money or meaningfulness
b. Comfort or creativity
c. Security or evolution
d. Social “success” or social responsibility
e. Superficial happiness or real inner contentment
f. Satisfying others expectations or our own inner voice or wisdom.

Let us examine what we can do to regain contact with our life purpose.


We need to free ourselves from our social conditioning concerning what kind of work has value. We need to be free to select the type of work and life style which suits us regardless of what others think of our choices. If our loved ones have a problem with our choices, we need to have enough inner confidence to lovingly help them understand that we are simply asking for the freedom to pursue that which fulfills us. Often the simplest roles can offer us the greatest spiritual lessons and self-satisfaction.

Take, for example, the roles of motherhood or fatherhood. Not much importance is given to them today because many feel that working in an office has more prestige or creativity. Yet, there is no more important and demanding role than that of parenthood.

click article link HA7 Finding Our Life Purpose below to read more of this self help for your happiness article.

HA 37 Take Charge of Your Life self help article by Wendy Joffe

HA59 Who are You? self help life purpose article by Leigh Butler

HA57 True Faith self help article by RE Najemy

HA60 Achieving Your Dreams by Jim Rohn

HA35 Looking for Peace self help article by Ed Hirsch

HA70 All Life Wishes to Reward it’s Benefactors by Jim Rohn

HA19 Personal Service – the quality that goes beyond time, by Vered Neta

HA18 Synchronicity – a doorway into the flow, by Nisandeh Neta

HA44 Get Real! self help happiness article by Ed Hirsch

HA20 Open up the Flow to a Fulfilled Life, self help article by Helaine Iris

HA7 Finding Our Life Purpose, self help article by Robert Elias Najemy

HA38 How to Discover and Use the Power of YOU by Lee Wise

More self help resources for developing your “Sense of Purpose” in life……

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Your RECREATION activities are what charge your batteries when you take time off to do the things you really enjoy. When did you last have fun? Have you developed a Hobby that you truly love, that allows your creative energy to flow and makes you feel happy every minute that you are engrossed in it? How was your last Holiday? These self help suggestions will help to get the ideas flowing for more fun in your time off.


“Free Party Planner Guide”
Huge collection of articles on how to entertain at home, wine appreciation guide, etiquette tips, cocktail & drink recipes, dinner menu & party recipes and more, moved here from Café Hobson party planner website.

Stress Busters, self help article for your greater happiness in life, by Tracie Johansen

All through time, stress has played a role in our lives.

The challenged economic environment that we live in today is a perfect recipe for stress overload in many individuals.

When faced with stressful situations, the body produces an increased amount of cortisol and epinephrine.

This influx of hormones affects a number of other facets in our body that are geared to maintaining optimum health.

It is becoming more evident that if stress is not dealt with properly, it manifests itself into a number of common disorders.

Aside from the obvious psychological turmoil, unmanaged stress is believed to be a contributing factor in other health issues such as asthma, migraines, depression, arthritis, diabetes, ulcers, heart disease, and even digestive problems.

click on HA100 When Stress Takes Over below to read the rest of this self help article.

HA102 Stress Busters by Tracie Johansen

HA14a Give yourself a break – take a Vacation by Vered Neta

HA100 When Stress Takes Over, self help article by Brigitte Synesael

HA510 Some JOKES (print out 40+ pages of fun) & tips on how to tell jokes

HA507 Holiday self help strategies for Couples

HA30 Spring Fever is good Feng Shui by Jannie Mac

HA3 A Little About Cookies…self help cooking article by Jan McCracken

HA13 Astrologically Correct Gifts, self help article by Jannie Mac


“ON THE JOB”: Use these self help tips and self help articles to enjoy yourself AT WORK so that you are happier in all areas of your life We spend so much time at work, whether it be at home or in a business, that what happens during those hours will impact on our view of our whole day, life and the world in general. We need to develop our self help skills in overcoming obstacles that we will inevitably encounter every day so that we can still enjoy the rest of our lives.


Four Reasons Why We Procrastinate, self help article by Carol Halsey

Have you ever spent time thinking about a task you need to tackle but keep putting off, then spend time telling yourself you just must get started and wondering when you will start it, and then feeling guilty because you are working on other tasks instead. Yet this one keeps hanging over your head. If this sounds familiar, you may be one of the many people who procrastinate, and procrastination is probably the biggest time waster.

Putting off the inevitable, sometimes until a deadline is staring you in the face, causes the highest stress level, and results in managing time by crises. There are many reasons why people procrastinate. For some it happens occasionally under specific circumstances, and for others, it is a way of life. Here we will explore a few of the reasons behind why people procrastinate.

1. Poor work habits. These people procrastinate on everything. They are so far behind that they are constantly trying to keep up with yesterday. Boy, talk about high stress!! Their response is usually, “I work best under pressure.” If the truth be known, they are poor organizers and have trouble prioritising tasks and scheduling their time. It is easier to wait until the last minute to start a task because in their mind it is now important.

2. Feeling overwhelmed. When we don’t know how to do something, it is easier not to do anything at all. Or maybe we feel it would be too time consuming to learn what is needed to accomplish a particular task.

click on HA34 Four Reasons Why We Procrastinate link below for the rest of this self help article.

HA34 Four Reasons Why We Procrastinate, time management self help article by Carol Halsey

HA109 Instant Relaxation, anytime, anywhere by Peter Murphy

HA73 Career Development Philosophy by Jim Rohn

HA93 Simple Tips to Remove Stress in your Workday by Carol Halsey

HA71 Become a Good Observer by Jim Rohn

HA94 Priorotize your Day to Accomplish More, time management self help by Carol Halsey


PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT , – SCHOOL & STUDY, self help tips and strategies for happiness in lifelong learning.


Effective Decision Making, self help article by Meir Liraz

Most of us have never been taught to make wise decisions in our work or personal lives. Could you benefit from using a system that combines logical thinking with intuition? Ask yourself these empowering questions adapted from Dr. Spencer Johnson’s book: YES or NO.

1. What do I really need from this decision?

Distinguish between a want which is a WISH and a NEED which is a necessity. You may want a luxurious home, but may need a peaceful haven. You may want to buy a variety of inexpensive shoes, but you may need good quality Ferragamos to keep your feet from hurting. Successful people get their true needs met. When we pursue what we think we want, we feel empty even after we have it. Be sure to focus clearly on what will actually fulfill your needs and avoid being distracted by everything else.

2. What are my options?

Asking this question puts you in a resourceful state to allow yourself to find effective solutions. Be open to having new thoughts flow into your consciousness. If you hear yourself saying: I have no options…, recognize that you are simply not aware of them right now. Inform yourself of options by gathering information, talking with others of working with a coach. A good example about the importance of getting information before making a decision is the classic story about Henry Ford. He took three regional managers to dinner and afterwards decided which one to select to be his national manager. When the successful candidate later asked Ford why he had been chosen, he replied: All of you were successful at selling, but you were the only one who tasted his food before salting it. I like a person who gets information before making a decision. What opportunities have you missed by not first getting the information needed before reaching a decision?

3. Take each option and ask: Then what would probably happen?

Use your logical mind to narrow down your options to two or three. Then, use your imagination to focus in great detail on what would happen it you acted upon this choice. See what unfolds and feel the consequences as if you have already experienced this decision. Take it well into the future by asking: then what?…at least two more times

4. Have I thought it through completely?

Take time to be aware of the worst case/best case scenarios and what you would do in either case. How would that be for you? The result of even one decision has a domino effect on ourselves and others. Our lives are shaped by our decisions every day.

5. What does my decision reveal about my beliefs?

click on HA96 Effective Decision Making link below to continue this self help article.

HA96 Effective Decision Making, self help article by Meir Liraz

Lifestyle changes – a conscious choice! self help article by LifeStylePlans.com

HA11 Avoiding Burnout! Get Creative…by Elizabeth Bohorquez

HA72 Books & Reading, self help quotes by Jim Rohn

HA56 The Magic of Transformation by VT Neta

HA51 Power Thinking Concept, self help article by Dr Houston

HA40 Acknowledgement – a Tool for Transformation by N Neta

HA2 SUPER WOMAN, self help article by Robert Elias Najemy

HA29 Laser Power Mind, self help article by Robert Elias Najemy

HA27 The Law of Giving and Receiving by Vered Neta

HA12 The Compounding Effect of Selfishness, by Gary Vurnum

E001 self help FAMOUS QUOTES to Inspire and Motivate

If you have enjoyed the self help articles and self help tips so far, look further on this self help Directory page for more self help happiness resources listed for your convenient self help search in the self help subjects of Happiness, self help stress management, self help attitude & emotion control, happy relationship tips, self help personal development plans, self help strategies for career management , self help beauty tips & recipes.

GOAL SETTING and self help ACTION PLANS and CHECKLISTS Yes, at some point you need to do more than just read these self help strategies, you need to develop and define your goals and get yourself into action. The sheer Joy of Accomplishment is well worth the effort.


I’m sure this is not the first time you have heard about goal setting. The reason you keep hearing about it is because it really is important to your life. A good definition of goals is that they are dreams with deadlines. Yes, you can make your dreams come true. How do you want your life to be 10 years from now? How about 5 years, next year, or even 6 months from now.

The only difference between setting goals for your business or career, and setting personal goals is the subject matter. With commitment and persistence, and setting goals, your life can be any way you want it.

When you actually sit down and start identifying goals, you will probably end up with a long list. Decide what is most important to you in your business and personal lives. All goals do not have equal value. Some will be more meaningful to you. These are the goals to start on. Keep your list of the remaining goals to get back to later. Trying to do too much at the same time can be self-defeating.

Once you have selected the goals to start on, give each goal a deadline. Short term goals, such as completing a project, will be completed in six months or less. Medium term goals, such as increasing a customer base, or revenue, will be a yearly target. Your goal for career advancement could be in this time frame. Long term goals can run for several years, such as where do you want your business to be in 5 years, or building your nest egg to retire in 5, 10 or 20 years.

Write your goals down, as this increases commitment. Make your deadline for each goal realistic and reachable. There is no right or wrong on how long you determine it will take to reach a goal. It will be different for each person and each goal. Whatever is comfortable for you is what counts.

Okay, you have done this. Now, how do you get started? By identifying what you must do to accomplish your goals. Look at each one individually. Under each goal, write down the tasks to be undertaken to reach that goal. You may not think of everything to the smallest detail, but you will come up with the major tasks. Give each one of these tasks a deadline.

click on HA39 The Simple Steps to Reaching Goals link below to continue article.

HA39 The Simple Steps to Reaching Goals by Carol Halsey

HA55 Inside Secrets to building more Willpower by Dr. Vetter

HA32 A Resolution Method That Works, self help goal setting article by N Neta

HA33 Aligning Goals with your Values, self help article by Carol Halsey

HA61 Action vs Self-Delusion, self help quotes by Jim Rohn

HA95 Take Time to Save Timeself help time management article by Jeanie Marshall

HA85 Six easy steps to Get Where You Want to Go, without the Stress by C Halsey

HA63 Desire and Motivation – self help quotes by Jim Rohn

Get your free ebook on Goal Setting, right-click to download, left click to just read here

More “Goalsetting” and action plan self help resources……

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Disclaimer: This self help website is designed to provide accurate self help information in regard to the self hellp subject matter covered. It is offered with the understanding that the self help website developer and self help contributing authors are not engaged in rendering medical or psychological service.

The self help resources on this site are not intended to be a substitute for therapy or professional advice. This self help website and it’s self help creators are not responsible for the content of any sites linked to. All self help and other information is provided “As Is”

We believe that the self help advice and information contained herein are both accurate and reliable, but no warranty of accuracy or reliability is given and no responsibility arising in any other way for errors or omissions (including responsibility to any person by reason of negligence) is accepted by the company or any member or employee of the company or consultant to the company.


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