Table of Contents
Self help resources for people
RECOVERING from Traumatic Events in their life.
RECOVERING from Traumatic events – self help Personal Development resources for people in various stages of recovery in areas of their happiness and emotional wellbeing, health and fitness as well as Prosperity and abundance levels.
Your trauma could be related to anything in your life such as Relationship breakup or Divorce, it could be chronic illness or unhealthy addictions, it could be financial crisis or Bankrupsy.
We have tried to find self help resources that help to answer your specific needs, above and beyond the average life style issues.
We wish you well in your endeavors and truly hope that you will find some resources of real value to you here.
Recovering a Happy State of Mind & Spirit to “Feel Happy” again….
FEEL HAPPY! Achieving BALANCED EMOTIONS for genuine and lasting happiness. These self help resources will help you to maintain a positive attitude and state of wellbeing.
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I believe that a low sense of self-worth is a major problem plaguing most people today. It often underlies many other problems we face.
Without a healthy sense of oneself, we feel unworthy of respect and of good things in our life.
Our society has often taught us to value others and to devalue ourselves. Yet this doesn’t work for the betterment of all society.
Unless we truly value ourselves, we’re always looking to others for our sense of value or approval. Consequently, this usually entails trying to manipulate them into “loving” us in some way in order for us to gain a sense of self-appreciation.
Manipulation and control are always detrimental to relationships. And needing the approval of others always leaves our self-worth in someone else’s hands.
I, too, had felt the sting of putting others before self, to the denial and negation of a healthy self-respect and self-appreciation.
I, too, looked to others for approval, for the first 50 years of my life. I knew the struggle of seeking to find an appropriate sense of oneself, whether or not one had the approval of others.
article continued: HA229 below
HA229 Self-Appreciation by Charles David Heineke
HA228 LETTING GO OF EMOTIONAL TURBULENCE, self help relationship article by W. Bradford Swift
HA8 Focus of our Attention, self help article by J Marshall
HA6 Create Happiness with a Positive Life Outlook by RE Najemy
HA101 Stress Eliminating Affirmations by RE Najemy
HA28 One Thought at a Time by J Marshall
Be Flexible
Be FLEXIBLE and Gentle on yourself. Don’t be a Perfectionist and do try to be Adaptable in your expectations of yourself and events around you.
If you feel the unhappy event was due to your actions, fix it for the future, dont beat yourself up.
Our expectations of ourselves can be so inflexible that even one small event can ruin the day for you. By maintaining an openness to changes in your plans and having back up strategies you will feel great every day.
B>Don’t be a perfectionist
“Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you “ Nathaniel Hawthorne
You can waste your energy and your life trying to be perfect, or create the ‘perfect’ outcome to your plans. Trying too hard, or creating an impossible to achieve set of obstacles to your happiness, guarantees you will remain discontent.
Set your target for something like eighty percent of what it would normally ‘take’ for you to feel successful, content, happy, prosperous, whatever. Yes, lower the bar if you recognize that you are setting yourself up for failure time after time.
We are naturally born happy. We have an undercurrent of happiness flowing through us at all times. Unfortunately, we suppress and divert that natural state of being, by insisting that all the ‘ducks have to be lined up in row’ for us to LET ourselves tap into that happiness, or let ourselves emotionally experience the outcome we want.
Loosen up a little, lower the bar of criteria that must be met, simplify your life and ‘must do’ to just LET some happiness seep out to bathe you in the natural joy you have in such abundance. Go on, stop and smell the roses today.
Be adaptable in your plans and expectations.
Expect that there will be delays, problems, breakdowns, late appointments, sour people. You don’t need to plan for the worst. Just make the effort to have back up plans ‘just in case’.
If you easily become aggravated or upset at delays, carry a small audiotape of motivational content, or a small book to read. Make calls on your mobile, use the time constructively to achieve something, rather than get your blood pressure up.
Allow plenty of time between appointments so that you are not constantly under pressure of a backlog. When you are early, take the time to window shop, or just sit down and take a few deep breaths and look around you for a minute. Find something beautiful to look at. If you look hard enough, you will find something.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s ALL small stuff in relation to the big picture of your lifetime.
Increase your chances of being happy by learning to love doing many things.
The more interests you have the more your chances to have to be doing things you love and enjoy on any given day. Identify the music you like to hear, books you like to read, places you love to be in or visit, people, movies, food, parks, entertainment.Identify them so that you know ‘where you are going’ when you set out each day.
If you just show up at places and events, without taking responsibility to ensure they are things you would enjoy, what do you expect – you decrease the odds of having a great time. Make a point to identify the things you already love AND then add new things to that list every month at least.
Try something new. You may not like it, but you won’t know for certain until you try them. And if you do love it, you have something new to add to your list of things you love to do, see, have, eat, hear, etc, for every day of the rest of your life. Those are the kind of odds everyone should bet on to be a winner in the life stakes.
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HA108 Dealing with Disappointment, Disillusionment & Discouragement by RE Najemy
Relationships
Have better RELATIONSHIPS with family and friends that will support you in positive ways. Mother or Mother-in-law problems? Your Partner not as supportive of you as you need? Friends bringing grief into your life? Here are some self help strategies to bring warmth, love and respect into your relationships.
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Self Image
Your SELF IMAGE shapes the way you feel about yourself and what you expect from your life and the people around you. You do deserve the best that life has to offer you, so why not develop a genuine expectation that life will always be abundant, supportive, fun and joyful?
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HA53 Self-Acceptance and Self-Improvement by RE Najemy
HA10 The Power of Perception by Joan Marques
HA52 Self Suppression by RE Najemy
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Your APPEARANCE and PRESENTATION says so much about you and your expectations, both to the people around you and to yourself when you look in the mirror every day. If you ever look in the mirror and ask yourself “who is this person?” you need to check out some of these self help strategies.
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Sense of Purpose
Develop a SENSE OF PURPOSE to your life for greater passion, joy of achievement, and contribution. Remember the last time you woke up and just jumped out of bed, rushing toward the day ahead with an attitude of anticipation and excitement? You may not feel like that EVERY single day, but these self help strategies will help to bring you more than you have been getting lately.
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“When someone you love dies – Grief and loss management”
HA7 Finding our Life Purpose by Robert Elias Najemy
Recreation
Your LEISURE and RECREATION activities are what charge your batteries when you take time off to do the things you really enjoy.
When did you last have fun? Have you developed a Hobby that you truly love, that allows your creative energy to flow and makes you feel happy every minute that you are engrossed in it? How was your last Holiday? These self help suggestions will help to get the ideas flowing for more fun in your time off.
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On the Job
ON THE JOB: Enjoy yourself AT WORK so that you are happier in all areas of your life We spend so much time at work, whether it be at home or in a business, that what happen during those hours will impact on our view of our whole day, life and the world in general. We need to develop skills in overcoming obstacles that we will inevitably encounter every day so that we can still enjoy the rest of our lives.
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HA34 Four Reasons why we Procreatinate By Carol Halsey
Personal Development
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT: SCHOOL & STUDY, strategies for a happier time while recovering and rebuilding your life.
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Mythology & Parables in Modern Communication – Part 1 by Maurice Turmel PhD
HA96 Effective Decision Making, self help article by Meir Liraz
HA51 Power Thinking Concept, self help article by Dr. Houston
HA56 The Magic of Transformation by VT Neta
Personal Goal Setting
GOAL SETTING and ACTION PLANS and CHECKLISTS and SELF GROWTH BOOKS Yes, at some point you need to do more than just read these self help strategies, you need to develop and define your goals and get yourself into action. The sheer Joy of Accomplishment is well worth the effort.
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HA37 Take Charge of Your Life: How and why to make yourself a priority by W Joffe
HA55 Inside Secrets to Building More Willpower by Dr. Vetter
Recovering your Healthy Body & Mind
Chronic or life threatening illness requires a long road back to full recovery.
How To Cheer Yourself Up When You’re Down self help article by Colleen MouldingSelf Help Happiness article:
Got the colder weather, sour relationships, no money, poor health, plain ol’ down ‘n dirty blues?
Try some of these strategies to blow away those dark clouds and let the sunshine into your life again.
1) Dance! Put on your favourite music, turn it up loud and dance! This is guaranteed to make you feel good.
If you are unable to dance, don’t let that stop you having fun– sing at the top of your voice instead.
2) Smile! Force yourself to smile even if you don’t feel like it. This tricks your brain into thinking that you are happy.
You do want to be happy don’t you? Okay then–a great big cheesy grin. After three, one, two, three–smile:0)
3) Spend time with children. Their natural zest for life is infectious.
As well as the pleasures of a spontaneous hug or a chubby little hand in yours, try to take away with you some of their joy in simple things, licking an ice cream, playing with water, tramping through fallen leaves or following a butterfly.
4) Reward yourself. If there is a job that you hate to do, household accounts, home repairs etc. don’t keep putting it off so that it is constantly nagging at you. Just get it done.
Then reward yourself with whatever you love, a shiny new magazine, a bunch of flowers, a long soak in an aromatic bath, two bars of chocolate or an evening in front of the TV doing absolutely nothing.
Or even all of the above if you can afford it. The peace of mind that comes from having got the job done will be the greatest reward of all.
5) Clear out your clutter. The ancient art of Feng Shui believes that getting rid of clutter rids your home or work space of negative stuck energy and allows space for positive energy to surge into all aspects of your life.
Whether or not this is correct, it is an undeniable fact that clearing out what you no longer want or need makes life easier. Your home is neater, looks more spacious and is easier to clean.
There can also be a tremendous feeling of freedom as you let go of the past and trust in the future to bring you what you will need. Emotional clutter can be even more damaging.
We’ve all said or done things we regret, the trick is to do anything you can to repair the damage and if that is not possible, forgive yourself and toss it out of your life.
6) Take action. If something is worrying you, be it a health problem, or debt or divorce, make that doctor’s appointment, get some debt counseling, find out your rights.
The reality is often less stressful than sitting alone worrying about it. Try to talk over your problems with a friend, or if that is impossible find a support group on the Internet by typing debt, divorce or whatever into a search engine.
7) Positive thoughts. When you leave the house each morning, say and mean, I’m going to have a great day, it’s going to be lots of fun, rather than thinking, Oh no, another dreary day at the office to get through.
The first attitude will attract good vibrations and positive fun people to you, the second will ensure a depressing day.
8) Have more fun. Apparently children laugh approximately 400 times a day yet adults laugh only about 20 times a day.
When do we lose our sense of fun? Claim it back. Play games, watch comedies, have daily jokes delivered to your mailbox or throw a fancy dress party.
9) Make something. Being creative gives you such a buzz you won’t stay down in the dumps for long.
Stencil a room, make a cake, plan a garden, sketch or paint a picture.
Express yourself with a modern collage, change your rooms around, display your collections or start a patchwork quilt.
10) Keep a gratitude journal. Write down half a dozen things every day that you are grateful for, from waking up and seeing your children’s beautiful little faces to the smell of the roses in the local park.
This cannot fail to cheer you up if you do it regularly as it gives you a whole new way of experiencing your life.
11) Start a new project. Learn a language, trace your family history, redecorate your home, learn to ride a horse, gain a new qualification, take music lessons, learn to make your own soft furnishings or do your own auto repairs.
Visualize yourself successfully completing the project and the benefits it will bring to your life. Then make a start and follow it through to the end.
An added bonus will be the increased self esteem that comes from having planned, problem solved and perfected the whole project yourself.
12) See your old friends. It’s easy to get into a work, family, housework, shopping, sleep and back to work again routine that leaves you no time at all to be the person you once were.
The funny, up for a laugh, outgoing young woman you used to be. Spending time with friends who knew the old you seems to resurrect that side of your character.
You will come away feeling younger, more positive and excited by life than you were before you met up.
Go on, invite them over to share a pizza and catch up on each other’s lives.
13) Paint or accessorize a room that you spend a lot of time in a lovely bright yellow. The colour of sunshine will lift your spirit and bring positive vibrations.
We subconsciously know about the effects of colour on our emotions which is why we talk about the future looking rosy or having the blues.
14) Take the happiness option. You have the choice whether to spend this day, which you will never live through again, in a state of happiness or unhappiness.
Choose to spend it as happily as you possibly can.
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Colleen Moulding is a freelance writer from England where she has had many features on parenting, childcare, play, travel, entertaining and the Internet published in national newspapers and magazines. She has also written a variety of women’s and children’s fiction. Her work frequently appears at many sites on the Internet and at her own site for women All That Women Want.com a magazine, web guide and resource for women everywhere. Why not drop by? It was made for you!
http://www.allthatwomenwant.com Subscribe to the free monthly e-zine by sending a blank e-mail to: allthatwomenwant-subscribe@egroups.com
“Caring for someone with a mental illness”
“What is Stress & How do you Manage Stress?””
“Addictions and Impulse Control Disorders”
“6 Practices for Achieving Excellent Self-Care”
“21 Days to A Positive-Attitude Habit”
“7 Incredible Lifesaving Tips to Manage Your Anger”
“What is Stress & How do you Manage Stress?””
“Anger Management: A fact sheet produced by the Mental Health Information Service”
Recovering your Prosperity
“A Credit-free Card: What is a prepaid credit card?”
“Consolidate, before it’s too late credit card debt consolidation”
“How to avoid credit card pitfalls?”
“How to Do a Credit Card Debt Consolidation”
“Get a credit card with a low interest rate”
“Credit card debt: How to deal with it”
“Getting A Run For Your Money: How Do You Consolidate Credit Card Debt”
DEALING WITH THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE:
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1) Dealing with finances after the death of a loved one by Pat Curry
2) Funeral Expenses: Saying Goodbye to Granny by Samantha Clark
3) Frugal Funeral Planning by Mike Boyd
P101 Pre-planning and Dealing with Finances and Funeral costs after the death of a loved one
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