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Power Tips for Healthier Relationships
December 27, 2005
Power Tips newsletter, Issue #023
This month as it is the “holidays” after all, there is more time to read and contemplate, we have a BUMPER EDITION of self help tips & personal development resources, including some personal goal setting help. So get your favourite beverage and settle down for a really good session with your Power Tips!
NEW FREE eBooks to get you started for 2006… Just “right mouse button click” on the links then select “save target as” to download these .pdf books to your computer.
“How to Make 2006 Your Best Year Ever!” Booklet with a couple of short and simple Goal Setting gems to get you started on your New Year Resolutions
Accomplish Anything you Want in your Life! comprehensive self help guide for your self growth to Success
Secrets of the Richest People Learn from the wisdom of successful people through the ages.color=red>
One Minute Tip:
Can you IMAGINE yourself wealthy?
It may seem like a silly question. But don’t laugh.
How To Make 2006 Your Best Year Ever!
Its hard to believe, but 2005 has come to an end. With Christmas and New Years both on Sunday this year, my sense is that most people, businesses and organizations really are shutting down for the holidays.
And that means that this week is your last chance to review the year and plan the year ahead. I strongly urge you to take some time at least an hour to ask some good questions, jot some notes, and make your choices.
1. First, REVIEW THE PAST. Those who fail to learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.
The first step to changing the future is to acknowledge what already is. Ask good questions about 2005. What did you learn? What worked well? What would you like to repeat? What are you proud of? How did you grow, change or improve this year? How about your relationships, your career, your lifestyle? How about your income, your health and your hobbies? Ask good questions, and write down the answers.
2. Second, MAP THE FUTURE. I like the term map because this is not a dream, a fantasy or even just a goal. What exactly would you like to change in 2006? Do you want to increase your income? Lose weight? Improve some relationships, buy a new house, change jobs?
Mapping the future requires that you balance optimism and ambition with a conservative assessment of whats possible. Remember, reality never lies. Its unlikely that you can change everything or do everything in one year. What are the specifics you really to want to change in 2006? Ask good questions; write down the answers.
3. Third, GET A SYSTEM. Im a huge believer in plans and budgets and strategies. If you want to increase you income by 25%, youll probably have to make more sales, work more hours or learn new skills. When (exactly) will you do this? If you want to lose ten pounds, youll probably have to exercise more and eat less. Make a plan!
And get plenty of support. Surround yourself with reminders, books, tools and equipment that automatically move you in the direction you want to go.
Get a coach or work with a MasterMind group. Make sure your family, friends and colleagues know exactly what you want to achieve, and make sure they support you every step of the way.
The start of a new year is a wonderful time to take stock, adjust course and affirm your priorities, but it doesnt happen by accident. Take time to review. Take time to plan and develop your system. And get the support youll need.
You can make 2006 your best, most productive and rewarding year ever, but only if you arrange for success in advance. Do your homework! Make it happen!
Is all that too much for you?
In order to achieve any and every goal, you simply need to answer these 3 questions.
”In order to achieve my goal….
1. What do I need to STOP doing?
2. What do I need to START doing?
3. What do I need to DO MORE OF?”
THAT’S ALL THERE IS TO THIS FORMULA FOR SUCCESSFUL GOALSETTING…
But if you DO want more suggestions and tips for goalsetting, go to:
”The future belongs to those who believe in their dreams.”
“We don’t know who we are until we see what we can do.”
”Those who try to do something and fail are infinitely
better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.”
”Continuous effort–not strength or intelligence–is the
key to unlocking our potential.”
“Shortly after I met my mentor he asked me, ‘Mr. Rohn, how much money have you saved and invested over the last six years?’ And I said, ‘None.’ He then asked, ‘Who sold you on that plan?'”
Tips for your Happiness:
Basics of Healthy Relationships by Jim Rohn
Jim Rohn’s Fifth Pillar of Success: Relationships, Part One – Basics of Healthy Relationships
I’ve come to the realization that everything we do is based on relationships. Relationships make the world go around. We buy out of relationships, wars are fought over broken relationships, we have children because of relationships – every single thing that takes place on this planet is an extension of and is driven by relationships.
Our relationships can allow us to experience the peaks of ecstasy and the low valleys of agony. They have the greatest potential to give us joy and cause us to grow and become more if we so choose.
This month we will explore the secrets of successful relationships, and we will seek to understand what ingredients make healthy relationships in our lives. Because ultimately, one person caring about another represents life’s greatest value. We will look at four main areas:
1. Basics of Healthy Relationships. There are certain fundamentals that, if mastered, will take you far down the road of healthy relationships. The key to understanding relationships is that relationships involve people. And while every person is different, there are general principles that make most people tick. If we understand these basics or fundamentals, and operate accordingly, we can make our bad relationships good and our good relationships great. We will cover these basics later in this edition.
2. Family and Spousal Relationships. The primary relationships that most people have are with their family. Yes, that wonderful enigma we call family. Those deep and meaningful relationships that can bring the highlights – and the lowlights – of life. That group of people, many of whom we didn’t even get to choose, who will walk through this life with us.
Your family relationships must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship growing and flourishing. We will discuss how to have great family and spousal relationships in next week’s edition.
3. Friendships. Second to family, friends are the most important relationships we have. Friendships are unique because they are the relationships we have that are almost entirely voluntary. You don’t get to choose your parents or your siblings, but you do get to choose your friends.
And so many times we find that these relationships can provide matchless dynamics not found in our other relationships. These especially can, in their own special way, enhance our other relationships. This makes the relationship unique, and we will take a deeper look into successful friendships in two weeks.
4. Business Relationships. Many people do not understand how powerful relationships are in business. You’ve heard me say it before, but you cannot succeed by yourself. It is hard to find a rich hermit. So many times we underestimate this unique dynamic that has the potential to take us to new levels in our businesses. We may understand that family and friends are about relationships, but mistakenly think that “business is business”.
The fact is that even in business, relationships rule. Think for a moment about two sales people, one of whom is a friend and one of whom you have never met before. When it comes right down to it, you are most likely to buy from the one you know. That is the foundation of relationships. In three weeks, we will look at how to have great business relationships.
The Basics of Healthy Relationships.
Nothing can bring more joy to life than beautifully fulfilling relationships. The depth of meaning, understanding and appreciation that these kinds of relationships bring is almost unfathomable. And, of course, as many people find out, nothing can bring so much pain as a broken relationship with someone dear to you.
Yes, relationships make the world go ’round’. For better or for worse. But the exciting thing is that we can do much to increase our chances of having terrific relationships–relationships that are fulfilling and exciting, rich with meaning, joy and love. There are basics that govern most human relationships and these basics are what I want to cover below. So, here is my list of the eight essentials that I believe make up the basics of healthy relationships.
1. Love. Now, this all depends on your definition of love. Most people think that love is a feeling, but I would strongly debate that point. Actually, the concept of “like” is really about feelings. When you say you like someone, you are talking about how you feel. But when you say that you love someone, you are not necessarily talking about how you feel about them. Love is much deeper than a feeling. Love is a commitment we make to people to always treat that person right and honorably.
Yes, for those we become especially close to, we will have feelings of love, but I believe it is time for us to re-examine what we mean by love. We must expand our definition of what love means by including the commitment aspect of love. For healthy relationships, we must love everyone. We may not like them based on how we feel about them, but we should love them based on our definition of love above which in turn determines how we should act towards them, that is, treat them right and honorably.
2. Serving Heart. My good friend Zig Ziglar says frequently that “you can have everything you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want out of life.” The concept he is talking about is having a heart and life that is focused on serving other people. The Bible puts it this way: consider others’ interests as more important than your own. This is also fundamental to healthy relationships.
3. Honest Communication. In any good relationship you will find open and honest communication. Communication is so important because it is the vehicle that allows us to verbalize what is inside us and enables it to connect with another person. Isn’t communication amazing? One person is feeling one thing and through communication, another person can find that out and feel it too–amazing. And this is a vital goal in good relationships–to communicate, to tell each other what we are thinking and what we are feeling. It enables us to make a connection. Sometimes we are the one speaking and other times we are listening. Either way, the central tenet is communication for the sake of building the relationship and making it stronger. And here’s what’s exciting, if we just communicate, we can get by. But if we communicated skillfully, we can work miracles!
4. Friendliness. Put simply, relationships just work better when we are friendly with others. Being friendly can cushion the bumpy ride we sometimes experience in our relationships. Cheerfulness goes a long way toward building lasting relationships. I mean, nobody wants to be around a grump, do they? The fact is that the friendlier you are the more you are going to have people who want to pursue longer-lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with you. So cheer up, put on a smile, have kind words to say to others, treat people with a great deal of friendliness and you will see your relationships improve.
5. Patience. People being people, we have an awful lot of time for practice in the area of patience. People are not perfect and will constantly fail us. And conversely we will fail other people. So while we try to have more patience for others, we need their patience as well. So often, I think relationships break down because people give up and lose patience. I am talking about all kinds of friendships, marriages, business relationships, etc. Recent research has shown that those marriages that go through major turmoil and then make it through, are very strong after doing so. Patience wins out. Those who give up on relationships too early or because the other person isn’t perfect, often forget that their next friend, their next spouse or business partner, will not be perfect either! So, we would do well to cultivate this skill and learn to have more patience.
6. Loyalty. Loyalty is a commitment to another person. Sadly, loyalty is often a missing element in many relationships today. We have forgotten what it means to be loyal. Our consumer mentality has affected this to some degree. People are no longer loyal to a product. And unfortunately, many companies are not loyal to their clients or patrons. Regrettably, this has spilled over into our relationships. It is one thing to switch brands of dishwashing detergent. It is another thing altogether to switch friends. Sometimes we just need to commit to being loyal and let the relationship move forward. We need a higher level of stick-to-it-iveness! This kind of loyalty will take our relationships to a much deeper level. What a powerful and secure feeling of knowing that you have a relationship with someone who is loyal to you and you to them–that neither of you is going anywhere even when things get tough. Wow–how powerful!
7. A Common Purpose. One of the basics of healthy relationships is to have a common purpose, and oftentimes this is a component that is initially overlooked, but for a long-term, long-lasting relationship it is vital. Think about how many friends you have met through the years while working on a common purpose. Maybe it was someone you met while participating in sports, while working on a political campaign, attending church, at your office, or anything that brought you together to work on a common purpose. You had that strong common bond of purpose that brought you together and held you together. Working together, building together, failing and succeeding together – all while pursuing a common purpose – that is what relationships are made of. Find people with whom you have common purposes and sow the seeds of great relationships, and then reap the long-lasting benefits.
8. Fun. All good relationships have some element of fun. Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean, loud, raucous fun, though that is appropriate for some relationships. But even in business relationships there should be some fun. It should be fun to do business with those who you are going to have a long-term business relationship with. Fun brings enjoyment to the relationship and that is important. I think that oftentimes this key element can be easily forgotten or neglected in our family and spousal relationships. The fun things we did initially in a new relationship after a while can be taken for granted or simply fall by the wayside and we stop creating the fun and joy. So remember to consciously craft fun situations and moments, for these are the glue that hold our memories together and make our lives sweet.
There are so many key ingredients to making and maintaining great, long-lasting relationships. Each of the eight components we discussed brings unique dynamics and rewards to your relationships. Let’s begin to focus on improving our relationships in these areas and see what miracles occur!
Tips for your Health:
Mother Knew Best . . . but She Didn’t Know Why
If you grew up in a cold climate, your mother probably made sure you wore a hat before going outside in the winter. Not a bad idea. But the popular belief behind it — that you lose most of your body heat through your head — is misguided. In truth, the amount of heat released by any part of your body depends largely on its surface area. And on a cold day, you would lose more heat by exposing an arm or a leg than a bare head.
According to Dr. Daniel Sessler, an expert on hypothermia at the University of Louisville medical school, the face, head, and upper chest are up to five times as sensitive to changes in temperature as other parts of the body. This creates the illusion that covering up those areas traps in more heat. But clothing another part of the body does just as much to reduce overall heat loss.
(Source: Anahad O’Connor, writing in The New York Times)
To Win the Race of Your Life … Put the Right Fuel in the Tank
The adage “Garbage in, garbage out” can be applied to many things. But nowhere is it more appropriate than in terms of what you eat.
To achieve perfect health, you must put high-quality fuel in your body. The right foods will boost your energy, improve your clarity, optimize your weight, increase your lifespan, and protect you from illness.
It’s best to eat four to six small meals a day. Whenever possible, those meals should be made up of organic, whole foods. Here are the basics to help you choose the healthiest macronutrients:
Nuts, beans, and some protein powders are also good sources of protein.
To Lose Weight, Dump Your Fattening Daily Routines
Do you have any food-related daily routines that are making you fat?
You know, those food rituals that you do on auto-pilot, without even thinking about them?
For example, grabbing a cup of coffee as soon as you get to work?
Reaching for the donut inside the box on the office counter?
Eating popcorn while watching TV?
Do you do anything along those lines?
Do you have your own, completely unique food-related habits that are not doing you any good?
Recognize them, and dump them! Even if you dump just one, youll still get skinnier than you were before!
visit the WEIGHT LOSS directory section on our Self Help Website for tons of diet tips and free diet books to download!
FREE! Powerful Daily Motivation
Tips for your Prosperity:
How to Write an Ebook & Make your Knowledge Sell!
The hardest part of writing is the first sentence.
When you look at the whole project, it seems like an impossible task. That’s why you have to break it down into manageable tasks. Think of climbing a mountain.
You are standing at the foot of it and looking up at its summit vanishing into the clouds. How can you possibly scale such an immense and dangerous mountain?
There is only one way to climb a mountain – step by step.
Now think of writing your ebook in the same light. You must create it step by step, and one day, you will take that last step and find yourself standing on the summit with your head in the clouds.
The first thing you have to do, as if you actually were a mountain climber, is to get organized. Instead of climbing gear, however, you must organize your thoughts.
There are some steps you should take before you begin. Once you’ve gone through the following list, you will be ready to actually begin writing your ebook.
Beginning Steps to Writing an ebook
First, figure out your ebook’s working title. Jot down a few different titles, and eventually, you’ll find that one that will grow on you. Titles help you to focus your writing on your topic; they guide you in anticipating and answering your reader’s queries. Many non-fiction books also have subtitles. Aim for clarity in your titles, but cleverness always helps to sell books – as long as it’s not too cute. For example,
Remedies for Insomnia: twenty different ways to count sheep. Or: Get off that couch: fifteen exercise plans to whip you into shape.
Next, write out a thesis statement. Your thesis is a sentence or two stating exactly what problem you are addressing and how your book will solve that problem. All chapters spring forth from your thesis statement.
Once you’ve got your thesis statement fine-tuned, you’ve built your foundation. From that foundation, your book will grow, chapter by chapter.
Your thesis will keep you focused while you write your ebook. Remember: all chapters must support your thesis statement. If they don’t, they don’t belong in your book. For example, your thesis statement could read:
We’ve all experienced insomnia at times in our lives, but there are twenty proven techniques and methods to give you back a good night’s sleep.
Once you have your thesis, before you start to write, make sure there is a good reason to write your book.
Ask yourself some questions:
* Does your book present useful information and is that information currently relevant?
* Will you book positively affect the lives of your readers?
* Is your book dynamic and will it keep the reader’s attention?
* Does you book answer questions that are meaningful and significant?
If you can answer yes to these questions, you can feel confident about the potential of your ebook.
Another important step is to figure out who your target audience is. It is this group of people you will be writing to, and this group will dictate many elements of your book, such as style, tone, diction, and even length. Figure out the age range of your readers, their general gender, what they are most interested in, and even the socio-economic group they primarily come from. Are they people who read fashion magazines or book reviews? Do they write letters in longhand or spend hours every day online. The more you can pin down your target audience, the easier it will be to write your book for them.
Next, make a list of the reasons you are writing your ebook. Do you want to promote your business? Do you want to bring quality traffic to your website? Do you want to enhance your reputation?
Then write down your goals in terms of publishing. Do you want to sell it as a product on your website, or do you want to offer it as a free gift for filling out a survey or for ordering a product? Do you want to use the chapters to create an e-course, or use your ebook to attract affiliates around the world? The more you know upfront, the easier the actual writing will be.
Decide on the format of your chapters. In non-fiction, keep the format from chapter to chapter fairly consistent. Perhaps you plan to use an introduction to your chapter topic, and then divide it into four subhead topics. Or you may plan to divide it into five parts, each one beginning with a relevant anecdote.
How to make your ebook “user friendly”
You must figure out how to keep your writing engaging.
Often anecdotes, testimonials, little stories, photos, graphs, advice, and tips will keep the reader turning the pages. Sidebars are useful for quick, accessible information, and they break up the density of the page.
Write with a casual, conversational tone rather than a formal tone such as textbook diction. Reader’s respond to the feeling that you are having a conversation with them. Break up the length and structure of your sentences so you dont hypnotize your readers into sleep. Sentences that are all the same length and structure tend to be a good aid for insomnia!
Good writing takes practice. It takes lots and lots of practice. Make a schedule to write at least a page a day. Read books and magazines about the process of writing, and jot down tips that jump out at you. The art of writing is a lifetime process; the more you write (and read), the better your writing will become.
The better your writing becomes, the bigger your sales figures.
In an ebook that is read on the screen, be aware that you must give your reader’s eye a break. You can do this by utilizing white space. In art classes, white space is usually referred to as “negative space.”
Reader’s eyes need to rest in the cool white oasis you create on your page. If your page is too dense, your reader will quit out of it as soon as their eyes begin to tear.
Make use of lists, both bulleted and numbered. This makes your information easy to absorb, and gives the reader a mental break from dissecting your paragraphs one after the other.
Finally, decide on an easy-to-read design. Find a font that’s easy on the eyes, and stick to that font family. Using dozens of fonts will only tire your readers out before they’ve gotten past your introduction. Use at least one and a half line spacing, and text large enough to be read easily on the screen, but small enough so that the whole page can be seen on a computer screen. You will have to experiment with this to find the right combination.
Of course, don’t forget to run a spell and grammar check. You are judged by something as minor as correct punctuation, so dont mess up a great book by tossing out semicolons randomly, or stringing sentences together with commas. (By the way, that’s called a ”comma splice.”)
Last of all, create an index and a bibliography.
That’s it! You’ve written a book! Now all you have to do is publish your ebook online, and wait for download request from your website visitors.
Article reprinted with permission from Strategic Services. All rights reserved.
Helene Malmsio has been a successful business entrepreneur for nearly 30 years and has been operating Strategic Services group of Companies since 1987.
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Editors notes: color=red> size=4>
In memory of Erma Bombeck who lost her fight with cancer. I used to read her weekly magazine columns and thought she was a blast, a real dose of good humor in the midst of daily life crisis… I’m so sad that she finally succumbed, R.I.P. Erma. Read this and take on some powerful self help tips to better your life for yourself and your loved ones . Dont wait another minute to take a positive step!
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER – by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer).
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.” There would have been more “I love you’s.” More “I’m sorry’s.”
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute…look at it and really see it, live it and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff.
Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what.
Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.
Let’s think about what God HAS blessed us with.
And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally.
I hope you all have a blessed day.
Childrens Letters To God
Children have an innocence and honesty that, unfortunately, too many adults have lost. I hope you enjoy these.
Remember to visit the site for your free ebooks Some Classics have been added for “general” story books as well as our self help library, so there are now OVER 150 free ebooks to choose from! Best collection of free top book downloads on the Net!
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SEASONS GREETINGS TO EVERYONE! color=red> size=4>
Thank you for joining us this month, I hope that you have found some extra motivation and inspiration on HOW TO LOVE YOUR LIFE!
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The self help contents are solely the opinion of the self help author and should not be considered as a form of therapy, advice, direction and/or diagnosis or treatment of any kind: medical, spiritual, mental or other. If expert advice or counseling is needed, services of a competent professional should be sought. The self help author and the self help Publisher assume no responsibility or liability and specifically disclaim any warranty, express or implied for any self help or otherwise products or self help or otherwise services mentioned, or any self help or otherwise techniques or practices described. The purchaser or reader of this self help publication assumes responsibility for the use of these self help materials and self help articles and information. Neither the self help author nor the self help Publisher assumes any responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of any purchaser or reader of these self help materials.
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