Choose a Life Mate, not a Soul Mate,
self help dating article by
Vered (Tanmayo) Neta

Before I met my Life Mate, about ten years ago, I believed that there was only one perfect person for me in this entire universe.

For many years, I looked for my other half, only to end up feeling more frustrated and lonely than ever.

And then... I met Nisandeh.

When we met, I was not struck by a bolt of lightening, nor did any other 'sign' materialize in front of me indicating he was the one.On the contrary, I really disliked him.

I found him the most arrogant and obnoxious person I'd ever met.

He, on the other hand, thought I was the most vulgar and rudest person he had ever met.

We said goodbye after that evening with a mutual sigh of relief.

When our paths met again, two years later, we simply chose to be together and to commit to a serious relationship. We moved in together a week later.

My love life now is rich and wonderful, a direct result of our conscious choice and commitment to the development of our relationship.

Had I continued to search for Prince Charming, I would probably still be alone.

As it turned out, deep love grew over time, continually involving a conscious choice... mine...

Have you ever wondered why so many people who are seeking their Soul Mate ultimately end up feeling disappointed, let down and alone?

The reason is simple... they are searching in the wrong direction.

From my perspective, Soul Mates are all the people we come into contact, with whom we have unresolved business or indeed something to learn from.

Actually, Soul Mates could be family, friends, or colleagues. They do not necessarily have to be our significant other.

Thanks to the media and our human need for companionship, the Soul Mate myth has been romanticized and idealized thus continuing to keep us longing for that one 'perfect lover,' so much so that we are never satisfied with the one we are currently with.

If we wish to achieve 'heaven on earth' with a special someone, we have to adjust our expectations to a more realistic, humanistic level.

I believe we should be looking for our 'Life Mate' instead of our 'Soul Mate'.

Life Mates appreciate and love each other on a more human and therefore realistic level.
Life Mates both acknowledge and recognize one another's spirit, but interact as human beings, realizing that nothing or no one, is perfect.

Life Mates understand that life is about learning lessons.

Life Mates learn, live, love, and evolve together, yet remain separate on their individual journey.

Ultimately, finding our true Life Mate brings real love into our life, awakens our soul and makes it easier for us to learn the lessons we are meant to learn.

I guess the 'Soul Mate' myth has lasted for so long because we want to believe there is someone perfect for us - even though we ourselves have many faults.

We also want to believe in 'destiny'.

We want an almighty force to bring our 'twin' to us.

We want to feel instant recognition when we first lay eyes on that person.

It is so much easier to believe that our life is pre-destined, and that if we only wait long enough, that perfect person will materialize in front of our eyes.

Instead of using what we have - the ability to love and the free will to choose, we leave our romantic lives up to 'fate' (something we would never do with our career or other important life issues).

We learn about love through the media, and are lead to believe that finding our Soul Mate is easy.

It happens all the time in the movies, right?

In short - we don't want to take the responsibility for making this choice of a partner.

We prefer to remain the 'victims' in this game called 'life'.

In the real world, the choice is yours.

Be sure to make it a conscious one.

What I have learned on my journey with my Life Mate is that we each have to develop a relationship with the greater reality in our own way and then work on our relationship on a daily basis.

My romantic relationship is full of joy and love but also with pain and effort (that is human reality).

I know now that human love takes conscious effort, time and awareness and that CHOOSING a Life Mate over SEEKING a Soul

Mate makes for a much more fulfilling and attainable real-love experience.

So how about choosing for a Life Mate today?

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Article by: Vered Neta - trainer, success coach and lecturer. Learn how to achieve success, gain emotional freedom, increase self-confidence and transform stress and anxiety into positive energy on her site: http://www.inspiration2go.com Send a blank e-mail to subscribe@inspiration2go.com to get her newsletter and receive a BONUS - inspirational digital book.

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