Self help books Toddlers activity & discipline Positive Parenting resources
Self help books & positive parenting article guide for Parents resources for greater Happiness, Health and Prosperity, in your role as a Parent.
You have less time for yourself, less money left over at the end of the month, more stress and responsibility.
Yet the rewards of being a Parent or Carer are priceless, the most important and valuable role anyone can ever have in their life.
(Many parents would even state that their very “Purpose in Life” is to care for and provide for their loved ones. This can be fantastic, but what happens when the kids are all grown up and you need to start to have a Life Purpose for YOURSELF?)
These self help resources have been selected because they relate specifically to creating greater levels of Happiness, Health and Prosperity for you, which may sometimes be “challenged” in your role as a parent or life stage as a Carer.
15 Goal Setting Tips for Parents
Have you made your usual New Year resolutions?
You know the resolutions where you turn over a new leaf to get fit, steer away from junk food and start a savings plan.
While you are reflecting on past bad habits and setting new directions for your personal life consider taking stock of your parenting as well.
A word of warning — you will probably feel a little inadequate as you look back on some of your past practices. If you are like most parents you nag your kids too much, over-react when they mess up and you probably regret not spending enough time with them.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Not only is parenting the world’s hardest job but children aren’t born with owner’s manuals so we tend to rely on trial and error a great deal.
As you ponder the next twelve months of parenthood here are 15 New Year’s resolutions to consider. Avoid trying to adopt every idea.
Be realistic and choose one or two to add to your list of New Year’s resolutions.
1. Be consistent with your discipline. This is a big ask as dealing with kids’ misbehaviour tests the patience and resolve of the even the most assured parents. Set consistent limits and boundaries, even for adolescents, and be willing to negotiate and give a little ground.
When children refuse to cooperate or break the rules, act calmly and reasonably rather than resort to severe measures to ‘teach them a lesson’.
2. Avoid nagging, yelling and constantly reminding children to cooperate. Sometimes it is better to keep quiet than nag or remind children to do their chores, behave or just be reasonable human beings.
It is no coincidence that parents who nag frequently complain of ‘deaf’ children. There is usually nothing wrong with children’s hearing. They simply listen to what they want to hear.
3. Focus on children’s positive behaviours. If you find yourself continually pointing out your children’s misbehaviour and getting nowhere then try to ignore the inappropriate as much as possible.
Get into the habit of ‘catching kids being good’. Like adults, children respond to favourable comments and are likely to adopt behaviours that gain them attention.
4. Encourage children persistently. It has been estimated that children hear 17 negative comments at home for every piece of praise or encouragement.
Exposure to continuous criticism and negative comments can have disastrous effects on children’s self esteem. If you are not an encouraging person then linking your positive comments to something you normally do such as saying good night to your children.
Then you will know that you have encouraged them at least once each day. That’s a good start.
5. Spend more time together as a family. In an era of working parents and busy children finding time for everyone to be home together is increasingly difficult.
Be specific with this goal or it will end up on the scrap heap of broken resolutions. Aim to have at least one shared mealtime each week or spend one weekend a month devoted purely to family purposes.
6. Give yourself a regular break. Don’t be a slave to your family. Taking time out to do something just for yourself is a necessity rather than a luxury.
Revise your household routine, solicit the help of your partner or relatives, or employ a baby-sitter to provide you with some time-off.
7. Plan some time to be with your partner. Whether it is a romantic weekend away or just meeting for coffee together once a week make sure you have an opportunity to spend time with your partner – and don’t talk about the kids.
8. Make guilt work for you. Let’s face it, parents can find plenty of issues to feel guilty about. Leaving children in child-care, long hours spent at work, and even discipline measures are common sources of guilt.
Avoid easing your guilt by being too lenient, spoiling or indulging children with toys or other material possessions. Guilt can be beneficial though; if it reminds you to take time off work to attend a child’s school play children or prompts you to hire some domestic help to create more family time.
9. Make a plan to survive those difficult times. Only television families are free of manic times of the day. Mealtime mayhem, morning madness and bedtime battles are common in many families.
Identify your difficult time of the day and get super organised and be willing to make yourself scarce if children make unnecessary demands on you at these times.
10. Stay out of children’s fights. Brawling siblings disturb the peace so it is difficult for parents not to become involved.
Chances are you either plead for peace and quiet, make a ruling to end the dispute, or take sides to lay blame on the child who caused the infraction. If you are tired of interfering in children’s battles then leave it up to them to resolve.
When your children begin to bicker beat it to another part of the house or boot them outside until they have finished.
11. Control that television set. If the television is continually on in your house then it is time to establish some tight limits for viewing.
Ten hours per week is a reasonable guideline for children of most ages. Have a television-free night and let children sample other forms of entertainment.
12. Check your children’s computer usage. Computers are rapidly replacing the television as the electronic baby-sitter in many families.
To be fair, computers have more educational potential than the television but children predominantly use them for games, unless they receive assistance and direction from parents.
Pull up a chair and join in rather than leave children to their own devices whenever they hit a computer.
13. Avoid giving into temper tantrums. Do you give in when your toddler throws himself on his back in the supermarket and thrashes about like a crab?
Do you throw your hands up in despair if your teenager stomps off to her bedroom slamming the door behind her when she doesn’t get her own way?
Tantrums are a potent form of emotional blackmail designed to coerce parents to give in to children’s demands. Next time your child throws a major wobbly remove yourself and refuse to give in to such tactics.
14. Avoid the ‘good’ parent syndrome. Good parents protect children from many of life’s difficulties and rob them of opportunities to develop independence and responsibility.
They take forgotten lunches to school, pay fines for their children’s overdue library books and believe that chores are for parents rather than children.
If this sounds familiar let children take more responsibility for their own actions in the coming year.
15. Keep misbehaviour in perspective. You probably think at times that your children or teenagers are the world’s worst or that no one else acts up like them. Think again.
If your child misbehaves the chances are that he or she is no trailblazer. Many others mess up too. That is little comfort, however, if you have to put up with difficult kids day in and day out.
Regardless of how hard things become try to focus on their positive behaviours and work hard to maintain your relationship even if it appears that the effort is all one way. Your persistence will pay off in the long run.
For more great ideas from Michael Grose to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people subscribe to Happy Kids, his fortnightly email newsletter. Just visit www.parentingideas.com.au and subscribe.
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Michael Grose © www.parentingideas.com.au
Michael Grose – helping you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers
Australia’s most popular parenting educator. The author of six books and presenter of over 100 presentations every year
FEEL HAPPY! Achieving BALANCED EMOTIONS for genuine and lasting happiness. These self help resources will help you to maintain a positive attitude and state of wellbeing.
Changing what we believe about life, others and most important of all, ourselves.
The mind is the molder of our personal and communal world.
Every event we perceive through our senses is analyzed, evaluated and registered in the mind as pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. Our belief systems seek to determine whether each perceived input is something, which will “protect” or “endanger” our security, self-worth and / or freedom.
When life’s events are interpreted by our programmed mind as threatening, fearful or unpleasant, we experience a state of anxiety and tension. When anxiety and nervous tension become a chronic situation, then the body and mind are gradually worn down into a state of weakness and ill health. A psychosomatic illness is created.
The energy flow, concentration and clarity of the mind are disturbed. Organs begin to malfunction. Negative emotional states such as depression, bitterness, fear, anger, hate, envy, jealousy and resentment dominate the mind. Our relationships begin to deteriorate and a feeling of alienation can set it. It is time for «Attitude Therapy».
To continue, click on HA6 link below:
Bringing up the Kids… Parenting articles guide
“365 Daily Success Quotes” self help motivational quotes e-book
Right button click on the link to download this book to your computer
Be FLEXIBLE, Don’t be a Perfectionist and do try to be Adaptable in your expectations of yourself and events around you. Our expectations can be so inflexible that even one small event can ruin the day for you. By maintaining an openness to changes in your plans and having back up strategies you will feel great every day.
B>Don’t be a perfectionist
“Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you “ Nathaniel Hawthorne
You can waste your energy and your life trying to be perfect, or create the ‘perfect’ outcome to your plans. Trying too hard, or creating an impossible to achieve set of obstacles to your happiness, guarantees you will remain discontent.
Set your target for something like eighty percent of what it would normally ‘take’ for you to feel successful, content, happy, prosperous, whatever. Yes, lower the bar if you recognize that you are setting yourself up for failure time after time.
We are naturally born happy. We have an undercurrent of happiness flowing through us at all times. Unfortunately, we suppress and divert that natural state of being, by insisting that all the ‘ducks have to be lined up in row’ for us to LET ourselves tap into that happiness, or let ourselves emotionally experience the outcome we want.
Loosen up a little, lower the bar of criteria that must be met, simplify your life and ‘must do’ to just LET some happiness seep out to bathe you in the natural joy you have in such abundance. Go on, stop and smell the roses today.
Be adaptable in your plans and expectations.
Expect that there will be delays, problems, breakdowns, late appointments, sour people. You don’t need to plan for the worst. Just make the effort to have back up plans ‘just in case’.
If you easily become aggravated or upset at delays, carry a small audiotape of motivational content, or a small book to read. Make calls on your mobile, use the time constructively to achieve something, rather than get your blood pressure up.
Allow plenty of time between appointments so that you are not constantly under pressure of a backlog. When you are early, take the time to window shop, or just sit down and take a few deep breaths and look around you for a minute. Find something beautiful to look at. If you look hard enough, you will find something.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s ALL small stuff in relation to the big picture of your lifetime.
Increase your chances of being happy by learning to love doing many things.
The more interests you have the more your chances to have to be doing things you love and enjoy on any given day. Identify the music you like to hear, books you like to read, places you love to be in or visit, people, movies, food, parks, entertainment.Identify them so that you know ‘where you are going’ when you set out each day.
If you just show up at places and events, without taking responsibility to ensure they are things you would enjoy, what do you expect – you decrease the odds of having a great time. Make a point to identify the things you already love AND then add new things to that list every month at least.
Try something new. You may not like it, but you won’t know for certain until you try them. And if you do love it, you have something new to add to your list of things you love to do, see, have, eat, hear, etc, for every day of the rest of your life. Those are the kind of odds everyone should bet on to be a winner in the life stakes.
self help logic for flexible Parents, on discipline for children
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN(AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)
To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own,
here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control,you can take comfort from the thought thateven God’s omnipotence did not extendto His own children.
After creating heaven and earth,God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was
“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.”
We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!”
“Do NOT eat the fruit! “
“Because I am your Father and I said so! “
God replied,wondering why He hadn’t stoppedcreation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later,God saw His children having an apple breakand He was ticked!
“Didn’t I tell you not to eat the fruit? “
“Then why did you? “
said the Father.
“I don’t know,”
“She started it! “
“Did not! “
“Did too! ”
“DID NOT! “
Having had it with the two of them,God’s punishment was that Adam and Eveshould have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven’t taken it,don’t be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children,what makes you think it would bea piece of cake for you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their lifeteaching them to walk and talk. Then you spendthe next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God’s rewardfor not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know whysome animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact,they usually repeat word for wordwhat you shouldn’t have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children’s partiesis to remind yourself that there are childrenmore awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes,but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids.They will choose yournursing home one day.
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSIONAND YOU GET A HEADACHE,DO WHAT IT SAYSON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
“TAKE TWO ASPIRIN”AND “KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN”!!!!!
Quick,send this page link on to ten peoplewithin the next five minutes.
Nothing will happen if you don’t,but if you do,ten people will be laughing.
Have better RELATIONSHIPS with family and friends that will support you in positive ways. Mother or Mother-in-law problems? Your Partner not as supportive of you as you need? Friends bringing grief into your life? Here are some self help strategies to bring warmth, love and respect into your relationships.
Your SELF IMAGE shapes the way you feel about yourself and what you expect from your life and the people around you. You do deserve the best that life has to offer you, so why not develop a genuine expectation that life will always be abundant, supportive, fun and joyful?
Your RECREATION activities are what charge your batteries when you take time off to do the things you really enjoy. When did you last have fun? Have you developed a Hobby that you truly love, that allows your creative energy to flow and makes you feel happy every minute that you are engrossed in it? How was your last Holiday? These self help suggestions will help to get the ideas flowing for more fun in your time off.
self help family fun:
Set Up a Game Night for Family Fun,
Could your family benefit from something different than thetypical night at the movies and a burger?
Then look nofurther than your own family room for a way to create fun,learning and unity.
Creating a regular family game night is one way to breakthe routine and inject some laughter into what might be adull mix of events, obligations and chores. Learningopportunities and family unity go along with the fun. Hereare a few pointers to help make it happen:
* Whether you schedule the game night weekly or monthly, besure that nothing except emergencies will be allowed tointerfere. Kids need to know they can count on this specialnight.
* Stay focused on the event by limiting all outsidedistractions. For example, allow voice mail to managetelephone calls. Everyone will enjoy the activities moreand the children will see that you are really tuned in tothem.
* If the children want to stretch the game night to thelast minute, have them put on their pyjamas so they areready for bed.
* Instead of dinner, prepare a variety of appetizers. Forexample, you could serve veggies and dip, mozzarella cheesesticks, buffalo wings, fruit, and finger sandwiches. Letthe kids graze in between turns. It’s a fun alternative toyour nightly routine.
* Stock up on a variety of board games suitable for yourage groups. There are plenty of games on the market thatteach reasoning, coordination and spelling, but Clue,Scrabble and Yahtzee are traditional popular choices.
* Occasionally invite friends over to provide greatersocial interaction. Children will be able to practice goodsportsmanship while being competitive, and they will beexposed to various learning opportunities for developingpatience and generousity. Now and then, throw in some videogames as another way to spice things up.
* Give the children some ownership of the activity byallowing them to choose the games, decide which night worksbest, and select and prepare the appetizers. The moreinvolvement they have, the more sustained their interestwill be.
* Once in a while, you could use the scheduled time to gobowling, go-cart racing, or miniature golfing. Keep itactive — family game night shouldn’t be used for anythingnon-game oriented.
With family game night, you have special family time setaside regardless of what else occurs during the week. Itis a time for bonding, learning, and experimenting with thespirit of competition in a safe atmosphere. Your childrenwill learn important skills and values while spending timewith the people they love and trust the most — theirparents.
Andy Pavanov edits the Good Games newsletter at http://www.yngames.com
Toddlers Activities & Games with the Kids
FISHING TIPS & recreational family sports self help
“Fishing as Family Activity”
Many people love to go fishing, instead of playing tennis or golf. Others make it their primary sport activity together with their families and friends to relieve boredom and stress.
“Learning how to Fish”
You have decided that you want to learn to fish. There are several ways of learning, the hardest being trial and error. It would be best to find an instructor for one-on-one lessons.
“Fishing Kit Basics”
Before going deeper into the technicalities, make sure that a fishing license is secured. To be an amateur fisherman there are basic pieces of fishing equipment needed to complete your exciting journey in the fishing world.
“What is Fishing Bait?”
There is such an assortment of bait that it is difficult to recommend any particular color, size, or type as the best. There are more than a thousand good baits on the market. All will catch fish at some time or another.
“BEST LURES TO USE IN FISHING”
The evolution of fishing gear and accessories along with the development of the bass fishing industry brought about the development of various lures specifically used for different fish species. There are many types or class of lures and they all depend on what type of fish works for them.
“Fresh Caught Fish Cooking Preparation”
To maintain the delicate flavor of a newly caught freshwater or saltwater fish, this must be handled properly to avoid spoilage. Not to mention preserving the fish with pleasing odor.
“The Recreational Value of Fishing”
Many people consider that fish are only a medium of survival, or to some extent a food supply; yet there is another angle that is little known.
On the Job
ON THE JOB: Enjoy yourself AT WORK so that you are happier in all areas of your life We spend so much time at work, whether it be at home or in a business, that what happen during those hours will impact on our view of our whole day, life and the world in general. We need to develop skills in overcoming obstacles that we will inevitably encounter every day so that we can still enjoy the rest of our lives.
Your Personal Development
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT: SCHOOL & STUDY, strategies for a happier time while learning.
Toddlers Discipline Articles
Healthy Body & Mind for you and all your family
It Pays to Have a Good Attitude.
Attitude plays a big part in your chance of getting colds, flues, and other illnesses. Eating right, getting plenty of rest, and taking care of your body are important, of course, but thinking healthy is also important.
If negative thoughts invade your mind, banish them. Replace them with positive thoughts and feelings about yourself and keep on telling yourself that you are good and worthy. This good attitude seems to give us the added strength to fight off illnesses more easily. Some people do not know it but even the slightest negative thoughts have a greater impact on you and last longer than powerful positive thoughts.
Researchers now know that the mental attitude one has plays a definite role in the body’s immune system and its ability to fight off illnesses. A positive attitude won’t cure you of all illnesses and it can’t take the place of your doctor, but it can help you get better.
There are times when things are lousy, no doubt about it. This happens to everybody. Be optimistic along with being positive about yourself. Don’t blame yourself for things that go wrong, and don’t blame others either. Check into what you can do differently and work towards improving things for yourself and others.
In everything you attempt, always be the best you can be. And remember if a job is worth doing, it’s worth your best effort. Put time and attention into the small jobs as well as the bigger ones. You can reflect on some of your happy and successful experiences. Remember some of the actions you took, what you said to yourself and why things turned out as they did. And without boasting, take those past achievements as a legitimate part of your identity. Let others know about your accomplishments too, and encourage them to undertake difficult tasks as well.
When you are worried about how something will turn out, ask yourself what is the worst that could possibly happen. Very few things are really life and earth matters and we all tend to over-react when it comes to worrying. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. People who feel sorry for themselves have a tired and worn out look, walking as if they have the world on their shoulders, rarely smiling or laughing. On the other hand, people who feel good about themselves seem to walk tall and stand straight, looking alive and alert. They’re attractive and nice to be around and everybody wants to get to know them.
Treat your life as a learning experience. None of us are born knowing all that we need to know, and none of us ever knows enough. We can all benefit from looking at each experience as an opportunity to learn and to become wiser.
Your attitude plays a big part in how you feel about your body. You do what you can to look your best, but you should also try to accept yourself as you are. Feeling sorry for yourself because you think you’re not good looking will only make you unhappy. The feelings you have about yourself affects how much pleasure and satisfaction you will get out of life. People who have a good attitude look forward to new challenges and new experiences along with meeting new people.
To read more health articles like this, click on HE002 below:
In an episode late last year of ABC’s “Once and Again,” a visiting grandmother spots in two minutes what parents haven’t noticed: Their teenage daughter has an eating disorder.
The parents in the show are caring, connected, and divorced. That last fact provides the plot with convenient room for finger-pointing – “You weren’t paying attention!” – but it makes us squirm.
Who’s to say we would do any better by our child?
Of the 5 million to 8 million women in the United States who currently suffer from an eating disorder, 50 percent will fully recover without fear of recurrence.
That’s the good news, says psychologist Catherine Steiner-Adair, director of education at the Harvard Eating Disorder Center. Thirty percent, however, will have only a partial recovery, meaning they are still at risk; 20 percent will always struggle with it, and five 5 percent of those, or 50,000 young women, will die.
Prosperity on a big budget
Suggestions on How to HAVE MORE MONEY:
These articles focus on the extra demands made on finding the money to maintain a family…….
If we stop and think about it, most of us do know how to live on one income.
Here are some tips to get you started:
1. Remember those College Days. Bet funds were limited then. If you don’t remember, look up some campus newspapers on the internet and see what the poor crowd are doing for entertainment.
2. Think about those lazy, hazy summer days of tenting and cottaging. If you simplify your life drastically, people will say your lifestyle reminds them of being at the cottage.
3. Visit your grandmother or great grandmother and her friends. Many people who lived through the depression know lots and lots about household economy.
They also know how to put a good face on poverty and present an elegant lifestyle to the world.
4. Go to the Library. There are all kinds of books on decorating, learning to cook, learning to clean, making things, etc.
Family Budget Planning & Money Management
The Smith family knew where their money went. But Mary struggled trying to decide where they could cut expenses.
It didn’t seem like they were being extravagant with their food budget, but she wondered how would she know if they really were spending too much for food or in any area.
MONEY MANAGEMENT FOR YOUR KIDS!
Yes, there are many ways for your kids to actually help you to stay within a budget and to help save extra money for your Prosperity……
Make More Money – with a Home Business:
Many people would like to turn their hobby into abusiness and the best way to go about this is tostart while you are still doing your ‘day job’ in thebeginning.
You can then begin to make yourcontacts, send out press releases and generally planfor the day you will be able to kiss being an employeegoodbye.
This way you won’t be losing any incomewhile you are getting things up and running.
Unless you have a sizeable chunk of capital to inject into thebusiness at the beginning therefore, this is the bestway to start – slow and carefully.
Everyone would love to get paid for doing somethingthey would be doing anyway, so building up a smallbusiness from a hobby is the ideal way to make aliving.
Not only will you be your own boss, you willbe doing something you love to do anyway – work isn’tlike work if you enjoy what you are doing.
On top of this, if you are marketing your own products and designs youare far more likely to work harder and have a belief in your product.
self help article continued: P125 Turn Your Hobby Into A Business by Gail Miller
The Most Overlooked Small-Business Opportunity on the Net.
What’s the largest single segment of the economy that (up to this point) has virtually missed the Net? SERVICES! Yes, the service-selling opportunity is the most overlooked small-business opportunity on the Net. Depending on the kind of service you sell, you could have local clients … or you could work for anyone in the world.
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