“ Managing Stress: Clear Thinking”
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Surf or turf? Skirt or slacks? Used car or new? Comedy or drama?
Each day, you're faced with literally hundreds of decisions – everything from choosing those important directions that your life will take to deciding on the videos that you want to rent.
Whatever options you choose, one thing remains the same: making time decisions takes a lot of energy.
Each time you need to ignite that proverbial light bulb between your ears, the energy must come from somewhere.
Unfortunately, it doesn't end there, since most of us tend to second-guess ourselves and even agonize over the choices made – or ponder if we made the right decision. This process can cloud your mind and de-energize your body.
But the way to more energized decision-making is clear – or, rather, clear thinking. Clear thinking takes more work than muddling at first, so it requires more energy in the short run. But once you begin to clear up your thinking, you'll see the energy benefits.
Decide How You Decide
The first step to clearer thinking and better decision-making is to decide how you decide. There are four types of decision makers, according to Dorothy Leeds, a New York City consultant who teaches executives how to be better decision makers through her book "Smart Questions: A New Strategy For Successful Managers." She describes them this way:
- Commanders, by nature, are impatient. Their eagerness leads them to make quick (and sometimes foolish) decisions.
- Convincers are the persuader-promoter types. They tend to act on their emotions, deciding quickly what 'feels good'.
- Carers decide on the basis of their feelings but are concerned with others. Since they don't want to hurt others, they tend to take a long time to make decisions.
- Calculators want all the information that they can get before making a decision. Their problem is that since they can never get all the information that they need, they tend to take way too long to make a decision.
Leeds has advice to help all four types of decision makers make better choices. If you're a Commander type, force yourself to slow down and bring your proposed decision to a Carer, who would consider all sides.
If you're a Carer, set a time limit on your information-gathering stage and find a Commander to assess your judgment. If you're a Convincer, bring it to a Calculator, and vice versa.
Mind Over Matter
No matter what your decision-making style, experts say that certain rules apply to everyone. And here's what they suggest for making better decisions and clearing up that muddled, energy-draining kind of thinking.
- Ask a lot of questions.
Before you make any good decision, you have to assemble as many facts as possible with a little detective work; and that comes from asking questions.
- Then ask no more.
After you ask all the questions, ask yourself one more. To find that crux, try to put the issue or problem into a single declarative sentence. The problem or question must be one sentence long and no more.
- Put your thoughts in order.
- Look for hidden answers.
Another common problem is that we tend to make many decisions with an either-or attitude. This limits our options when, in reality, there are usually more answers facing us. Chess is the perfect example. The downfall of many players in chess, as in life, is that they concentrate only on two or three moves while there are many other possible routes.
- Drop your 'musts'
Use your values to help decide what's important enough to think about and work through, and what you should let go. A lot of energy gets wasted thinking about things that are insignificant in relation to what we really value. But if you know what's important, you can focus your thinking on these things.
- Keep a log.
Finally, get used to starting each day with some mental organization. Many people find that it's helpful to have a daily 'to do' list of activities and things to be accomplished.
This log can also help clear your thinking. But, beware too, because if you're compulsive, you may spend too much time just making your list. List making frees your mind up.
Happiness and wellbeing self help books and Managing Stress personal development articles about improving your Happiness, Health & Wealth, increasing your wisdom on how to be happy, and using self help resources like self help site with free self help books on being happy with loving relationships, high self esteem & self confidence using self actualization and self growth Managing Stress resources.
STRESS MANAGEMENT
A lecturer, when explaining stress management, raised a glass of water and asked… "How heavy is this glass of water?"Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.
The lecturer replied… "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.”
"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem... If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm…If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. "
He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress and worries.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."
"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. "
"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work or life down. Don't carry them home… You can pick them up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can."
"Relax; pick them up later after you've rested... Life is short… Enjoy it!”
And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:
* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
* We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
REMEMBER: A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour, so have a Wonderful day and know that someone has thought about you today... I DID.
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